Raped twice..

[flumeendeavors]

Hey guys, so i was confused about a few things.. you see, i was raped as a little girl, maybe 5 or 6 and then i was raped a year ago in a drug house. The strange thing is that i crave really rough sex and i like being treated like im being raped by my partners... is this weird? It confuses me so much because why would i want to pretend to be raped and still get pleasure from it when ive been raped twice before?! Its stupid.:confused:

[Salader]

If you get pleasure from it. It doesn't count as rape.

[Ashleigh]

If you get pleasure from it. It doesn't count as rape.


how did you come to that conclusion? rape is when consent is not given whether pleasure is present or not? humans naturally find sex pleasurable however im sure at the time she was stressing more than thinking about how much she enjoyed it? :S :/

anyway i wouldnt dwell on it too much sweetie, youre bodys gonna be confused xx

[BossHogg]

I agree^ your mind is just use to that kind of pleasure so you want it cause u experienced it

[Amaryllis]

This isn't abnormal at all. I've wanted a partner who would abuse/rape/be cruel towards/hit me up to about when I was 12. And I did actually end up with a guy much older than I was who had problem with drugs and fits of rage.

Perhaps we're trying to make ourselves like the abuse so it isn't so painful in our memories. Or we're afraid it'll happen again. Or if the abuser was someone close to us, we seek the love we didn't receive. Or we're trying to convince ourselves it wasn't rape and we actually enjoyed it.

Anyhow, abusive relationships are horrible. Believe me, I used to look like a war zone. They rarely last and you will most likely be unhappy. And the guilt of wanting to leave your partner's overwhelming.

Do you -really- want someone who's going to ask you to sit down and shut up? Make me a fucking sandwich and suck my dick. I want some goddamned coke, give me money. Who gives a shit about your parents, I want to film you getting beaten up and put it on the Internet.

Rough sex is okay, I suppose. And you and your partner can pretend you're getting raped. But make sure your partner actually treats you right or decent. You don't want to end up being made to have sex with his friends and standing next to him while he shoots black tar up his arm. Horrible, horrible experience.

Find someone who loves you, who actually cares about your wellbeing and who isn't going to use you as a punching bag when his day doesn't go right. If you really can't, seek help. Don't let the horrible things that happened to you ruin your life forever, rise above it and be tougher than you ever were before.

[Electra Heart]

If you get pleasure from it. It doesn't count as rape.
You could NOT be more wrong. I doubt she LIKED it when she was getting raped, she said when she engages in sex with PARTNERS she likes to think she is in that situation, kind of like a fetish. This is completely normal, everyone likes different things. Regardless of that, sexual intercourse of any kind involving a minor (Well depending on the state but the lowest age of consent in the U.S. (assuming she is American and I'm NOT counting Connecticut because that's MESSED UP) is 16) is legally considered rape.

As for you, Brooke, it might seem confusing now but it'll all make sense at one point or another. :)

[CJM123]

this does not count as rape. Whatever turns you and your partner is happy with it there is nothing wrong :)

[Abyssal Echo]

You could NOT be more wrong. I doubt she LIKED it when she was getting raped, she said when she engages in sex with PARTNERS she likes to think she is in that situation, kind of like a fetish. This is completely normal, everyone likes different things. Regardless of that, sexual intercourse of any kind involving a minor (Well depending on the state but the lowest age of consent in the U.S. (assuming she is American and I'm NOT counting Connecticut because that's MESSED UP) is 16) is legally considered rape.

As for you, Brooke, it might seem confusing now but it'll all make sense at one point or another. :)

I agree with you totally ! As I too was molested at 5 and again at 10&11 all by Teen age boys I did not enjoi any of it nor was it pleasurable.

Now I enjoi plesuring guys

[flumeendeavors]

Thank you all SO much! I have been gone for awhile at inpatient treatment for my depression and i got a lot of therapy while i was there, especially towards the rapes that i experienced. I definitely have found some strength in myself now to get out of any abusive relationships and although im still not the most comfortable with my "fetish", i understand it more. :)

[abbymontrose]

Ok....my first EVER post...I'm new here! Brooke I totally know where you're coming from. I was molested pretty harshly as a kid. and I was raped at a party about 2 years ago. My "first time". Now I'm just like you. I need to feel the same sexually. My councillor told me that I'm trying to control what happened to me.

Now I adore rough...even violent sex. It confuses me too and sometime I really REALLY hate myself

[anonymous53]

Hey guys, so i was confused about a few things.. you see, i was raped as a little girl, maybe 5 or 6 and then i was raped a year ago in a drug house. The strange thing is that i crave really rough sex and i like being treated like im being raped by my partners... is this weird? It confuses me so much because why would i want to pretend to be raped and still get pleasure from it when ive been raped twice before?! Its stupid.:confused:

I don't think it's weird, mainly because my first experience was... very..violent.. and non-consentual. It went on for a good four months, and since then the closer I feel to being taken advantage of the more I like it.

So I suppose..it might be common for people who have experienced it before.

It's good you are getting treatment perfection :)

[Wayne92]

Thank you all SO much! I have been gone for awhile at inpatient treatment for my depression and i got a lot of therapy while i was there, especially towards the rapes that i experienced. I definitely have found some strength in myself now to get out of any abusive relationships and although im still not the most comfortable with my "fetish", i understand it more. :)

Good for you. I understand how you feel because I was sexually abused by my stepdad over a period of a year when I was kid. I too have the desire or "fetish" for rough sex and that was partly do to the belief of that's what I deserve to be treated. After see a therapist, saw that I deserve better, but still a little embarrassed about my sexual desires.

Let me know if want to talk.

[Alexander The Great]

It only counts as rape if you clearly stated you didn't want it, but they gave it anyway

[Weeping_Angel]

It only counts as rape if you clearly stated you didn't want it, but they gave it anyway

No. It counts as rape if he had sex with her, and she never told him he could do it, whether or not she said he can't,

[Truth]

At a young age you were introduced to rough sex, and as a result, it is one of your fetishes. Play-rape is a very common thing in relationships.

I'm horribly sorry to hear that happened to you; and I'm glad you got out of it. You're not weird or ab-normal for liking sex in a certain way.

[Tarkus]

I don't think some of you understand what shes saying. Shes saying why would she want rough sex (almost like shes being raped) Even though she has a history of being raped. So shes thinking that wouldn't she want the opposite of rough sex? since thats pretty much whats haunted her? But anyway thers nothing wrong with rough sex some woman (and men) just simply desire it. We all have some sort of fantasy, simple as that.

[Truth]

I don't think some of you understand what shes saying. Shes saying why would she want rough sex (almost like shes being raped) Even though she has a history of being raped. So shes thinking that wouldn't she want the opposite of rough sex? since thats pretty much whats haunted her? But anyway thers nothing wrong with rough sex some woman (and men) just simply desire it. We all have some sort of fantasy, simple as that. Because that is simply a turn on for some people. Psychologists have wondered for hundreds of years how fetishes are formed; and being raped is something that can trigger the creation of a fetish for rough sex.

There is a large difference between rape and rough enjoyable sex she has consented to.

I have a foot fetish; and when I was a kid I would always play with peoples feet. When you are young, being introduced to different situations plays a large role in your future sexual desires.

[deadpie]

Hey guys, so i was confused about a few things.. you see, i was raped as a little girl, maybe 5 or 6 and then i was raped a year ago in a drug house. The strange thing is that i crave really rough sex and i like being treated like im being raped by my partners... is this weird? It confuses me so much because why would i want to pretend to be raped and still get pleasure from it when ive been raped twice before?! Its stupid.:confused:

No, it's not strange at all. This is actually very common. This type of behavior typically happens with people who go through child sexual abuse. You're at an age where you don't know much about sex and can't completely understand it, so rape disjoints and confuses the views of it all.

This confusion ironically can make a rape victim want to seek and crave for violent and aggressive sex. Rape trauma is very, very confusing and what that type of trauma does to your brain. If you start blaming yourself and becoming self destructive, you might chose to do this as a form of harming yourself - even if you don't really realize it. There's also the fact that when hormones start kicking in through puberty and you've already had negative sexual experiences through rape your hormones become just as fucked up as anyone else's.

I can understand what you're saying, because I was sexually abused as a child for a long period of time and have always been a very horny/sexual person. I did some really sick and life threatening shit. My therapist told me that it's very normal for people to do these types of things. People who have consensual sex at early pre-teen and teenage ages are more likely to have been sexually abused as children is what I was told by him.

It's strange but it makes sense. What I'd do if I were you is talk to your therapist about this and it's best if you're seeing someone who's job is particularly for people who have been victimized. The best thing to probably do is to stop this behavior before it gets any worse. Another thing is to never blame yourself for anything that happened to you and don't put yourself down for what you're doing as a result to the trauma's. None of it is your fault and you're a good human being.

also

This isn't abnormal at all. I've wanted a partner who would abuse/rape/be cruel towards/hit me up to about when I was 12. And I did actually end up with a guy much older than I was who had problem with drugs and fits of rage.

Perhaps we're trying to make ourselves like the abuse so it isn't so painful in our memories. Or we're afraid it'll happen again. Or if the abuser was someone close to us, we seek the love we didn't receive. Or we're trying to convince ourselves it wasn't rape and we actually enjoyed it.

Anyhow, abusive relationships are horrible. Believe me, I used to look like a war zone. They rarely last and you will most likely be unhappy. And the guilt of wanting to leave your partner's overwhelming.

Do you -really- want someone who's going to ask you to sit down and shut up? Make me a fucking sandwich and suck my dick. I want some goddamned coke, give me money. Who gives a shit about your parents, I want to film you getting beaten up and put it on the Internet.

Rough sex is okay, I suppose. And you and your partner can pretend you're getting raped. But make sure your partner actually treats you right or decent. You don't want to end up being made to have sex with his friends and standing next to him while he shoots black tar up his arm. Horrible, horrible experience.

Find someone who loves you, who actually cares about your wellbeing and who isn't going to use you as a punching bag when his day doesn't go right. If you really can't, seek help. Don't let the horrible things that happened to you ruin your life forever, rise above it and be tougher than you ever were before.

Also read this. (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=124753)

[Magenta]

This was bumped from February. :locked: