Pathetic recovery.

[flumeendeavors]

Hey guys, so ive been recovered for about 5 months now. I have been diagnosed with depression and anorexia. Theres a little background for you..

Does anyone else feel like all of this recovery is just a bunch of bullshit? Im starting to..it kinda scares me too because ive come so far but i just feel like im always gonna be sick you know? And im just now realizing that one day very soon im gonna be taken off my meds and then im just going to crash again. I dont want to be stuck on meds forever either and have to rely on a stupid pill to make me happy...it all just feels a little pointless because i know that as soon as i get taken off my meds im going to go crazy again. I feel like im always going to be crazy and theres nothing we can do about it....its just always gonna be a part of me no matter what so why should i spend all this time and money on all these new regiments just to get pushed back to where i was before in the end?

Does anyone else feel like this? Advice...?

[AliceFaye]

I feel very much like this, like no matter how hard you try, how long you don't cut for, how many pills they put you on i'm just gonna be f-ed up for life. I don;t think recovery exists. I tink what people call recovery is just putting the bad things to the back of their mind and ignoring them, they don't go away but people getting better at dealing with them and controlling them.

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

I've gone through cutting and cocaine addiction, both I stopped for someone who means the world to me, though I can't see anymore. It was a year July that I stopped both. I still get urges at times, but through the time I made it without, I'm able to think clearly and say "No...I've lasted this long and can't break my promise."
The fact you've gone this long, and don't want to is proof that you won't if you truly try as hard as you can. Addictions become habits, so it's natural to want to go back to them. Just talk to someone anytime you feel an urge.
You can, and will get through it. =]

[flumeendeavors]

Thanks guys. I appreciate it...I guess I just need to find someone to get better for... Especially seeing as my original person who took that place left me. :/

[beebs]

I get what you mean. Although i have never been diagnosed with depression, because im too scared to tell anyone.

I feel the same though, i dont see the point in asking or getting help, because as soon as i stop getting help, ill go back again.

I cant really give adivice but, hay i feel the same way

[Jmann]

I'm pretty sure I'm clinically depressed and I've talked to my mom about getting meds for help but it's weird for me. I'm mainly sad most of the time but I will have really good days then crash again. It's been going on for two years but yeah...

[flumeendeavors]

well thank you all...this really does make me feel better. I dont feel quite so alone in what im feeling. You know, i really wish that there was a part time mental health hospital where one can go spend the weekend when need-be. I liked being in the hospital ... it made me feel like people cared.