I'd love to cry.

[ThatScience]

It's all overwhelming.
I don't know what sexuality I am and I've never been so unsure of something in my life. I've never had a crush and it's making me feel isolated and lonely. Somewhat disconnected.
I'm just up to my ears in the most emotional point in my life and though it all I only want to cry.
I want to but I can't. Often when I'm alone in my room I feel close but I just can't. I don't think I've cried for ANY reason in something like 4 years.
There's just all this emotional tension that I feel like I need to release but it just won't and now I get the feeling that I'm just wallowing.
Everything is confusing and I'm not sure if my inability to cry is a result of not really being that upset of if I've just become emotionally defficient because of my time spent being content with my life...
I just don't think it'll go away until I can cry or come to a decision but both of those outcomes seem so distant and so unachieveable that they're not worth considering at this point in time.

[Ace_of_Spades]

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. If i had to guess, i think you're inability to cry is caused because you don't want to push yourself too far. I'm not making assumptions though, and please don't take offense, that was just my initial thought. As far as offering advice, you might want to consider finding a really close friend, who you really trust, and, in a way, let your guard down around them. If you feel really safe, you should be able to let go of some of that tension.. Does that make any sense? Sorry if it doesn't, i'm not quite sure how to phrase it.