View Full Version : Terrible urges
Megson
December 1st, 2011, 09:53 PM
God. I want to cut so badly. I feel awful.
I literally had my razor in my hand, pressed into my skin, ready to cut my skin.
I've been feeling down a lot this week, for no reason at all. But today, I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror in the hallway... and I HATED what I saw. I'm ugly, fat, awkwardly shaped... I'm just hideous. How could I let myself go out in public, looking how I look??
I cut for punishment, because I let myself get fat and ugly, and then I force other people to look at me. I cut for release, because my self-hatred builds up when I don't.
Bath
December 1st, 2011, 10:05 PM
I know what you mean, I feel this way a lot. But you have to remember that that's just a feeling. Not the truth.
Do something to make you feel better. Get a hair cut, dye your hair, go for a nice walk for exercise, paint your nails, take a nice shower.
Also, in my opinion, it takes incredible strength to put a blade to your skin and not press down. You can definitely resist the urge, I have so much faith in you Megan.
If you do break, remember it's an addiction and mistakes will be made. Keep going, I'm doing this with you.
Njathind
December 2nd, 2011, 08:06 PM
I know what you mean, I feel this way a lot. But you have to remember that that's just a feeling.
I couldnt agree more with this, its just a feeling and is far from the truth.
How about this for an idea, I am sure it is bound to wokr. Arrange to go out with friends to the cinema or something. Then go and get yourself all dressed up, not OTT but you know. Nice trendy clothes, make up, a nice perfume the lot. Everyone loves dressing up and it usually makes them feel better.
Why not give it a try ;)
MyWords
December 2nd, 2011, 09:09 PM
I know what you mean. I've been cutting deeper lately because I've let my self eat a little candy, and even if I throw it up, I just cut more.
But it helps that when I'm with friends I cut a lot less and am less self-aware. So I root for Njathind's suggestion :)
beebs
December 3rd, 2011, 07:04 AM
You must be very strong to take a blade to your skin and not cut. Ive never been that strong.
Your not hideous. Everyone is beautiful in there own way.
MyWords
December 5th, 2011, 06:24 AM
Try the butterfly project! :
The Butterfly Project.
The Rules are:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.
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