Alright....

[TraelZoiDz]

Well....I've never really ever had an emotional feeling from what I can remember....it's all a grey haze...just covered with fake smiles, and false laughter through a keyboard...

Never perceived myself as happy...I've wanted to kill myself occasionally since I was 9...14 now...always knew suicide was stupid..swore never to do it..but now the thoughts are recurring constantly. Note, I wont kill myself...just...wont. But I think about it all the time...just ending it..no more stress..done with it forever...

Anyways, I'm in a fit. I've failed most of my classes...I have no motivation...my parents yell at me all the time, they have never hit me, ever, but they yell...I don't try...I can't try. My mind and soul are dead...stress is building up..and life just hit me like a fucking freight train.....how do I cope with such things? I've never had a real interest other than computers..they are the only things that make me happy..technology in general..but I can't use such things because I'm failing, and I am grounded from them. My life is just dead, I'm popular, but I really couldn't give a fuck or not...I'm not happy...its a never ending stage of neutral sadness....I can't find anything to cope with it...it's always there..I'm always depressed...just...how? :what:

[Dack]

Thanks for taking my Xfire advice and posting here man.

Trael..I know there's issues here and I know there problems, life hits hard, it hits really fucking hard. It's been a hard year for me, too. I'd been dumped, used, heartbroken. I pulled through all of the issues, my depression has faded but it's going away.

All you need to do is stand up for yourself. You said you wanted at least some chance of a future, it's not too late; you're only a freshman. You can repeat your courses next semester, hold back on the grade 10 courses until you've pulled through with the grades. I'm ONLY techno-savvy; I don't do well with people, girls, whatever unless it's over there Internet. It's not false laughter if you're having a good time, having fun. Remember the laughs we had on minecraft? Those were amazing, man!

[Amaryllis]

Hey honey. I know it may seem -very- difficult to cope with right now but this feeling of complete hopelessness -will- pass. Instead of focusing on all the pain in your life, focus on what good there is. As well as all the great things to come.

There's so much to do with your life. Places to go, people to meet and things to do. Suicide really isn't worth it. One day, when you've found someone or something to live for, you'll look bad at this and be glad you didn't kill yourself.

I know it seems impossible and painful now. But life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.

Love,
Amaryllis