Family disowning be because she's Black.

[BOSS]

I was always raised as a confederate and I was brought up in a confederate family EVERY one in my Family is confederate including me. Now here recently I've committed the #1 crime. I have a crush on a black girl. And now my Family is disowning me. I honestly don't know why every one is freaking out like this and I wish they could understand my feelings for this girl. I honestly really love her and I want to be her boy friend more than anything and if it means having to be disowned by half my family so be it. It just sucks that no one is standing up for me. Even my Mom called me a N*ger lover. All this damn drama just because I have a crush on an American girl that just so happens to be Black?!? Does any one know what I should do??? And does any one know what this is like? I really don't know what to do. If me and her where to start going out She wouldn't even be welcome in my home.

[Sleepwalking]

Sorry, but stories like this always piss me off.
And they are always in America. I wouldn't care about your parents. If they can't learn to accept your choices then forget them.

[LGCALI]

I was always raised as a confederate and I was brought up in a confederate family EVERY one in my Family is confederate including me. Now here recently I've committed the #1 crime. I have a crush on a black girl. And now my Family is disowning me. I honestly don't know why every one is freaking out like this and I wish they could understand my feelings for this girl. I honestly really love her and I want to be her boy friend more than anything and if it means having to be disowned by half my family so be it. It just sucks that no one is standing up for me. Even my Mom called me a N*ger lover. All this damn drama just because I have a crush on an American girl that just so happens to be Black?!? Does any one know what I should do??? And does any one know what this is like? I really don't know what to do. If me and her where to start going out She wouldn't even be welcome in my home.

I'd seek advice from the 'other half' of the family that won't disown you. They are there with you and know the situation with your family better than we ever could.

You are in a tough spot, mostly because of your age. You are still dependent on your family and dropping out of that support system is risky at best.

All of the speeches about how wrong all of this is, are not going to change "the facts on the ground" for you.

While you try to work this out, I would advise against cramming this relationship "down your parents throats". It's easy to say they're wrong and shouldn't think like this or that, but the fact is they do and it's not likely to change overnight.

If you are sure that there is no room for compromise with your folks, and you are sure this young lady is worth fighting for. Then prepare for the fight with as much ammunition as possible. Talk a lot with ANY family members (especially adults) that may be sympathetic to your problem. Take care of business around the house, chores responsibilities, work hard in school, and respect your parents by not flaunting the relationship. Be a good son.

Explain to the young lady that youR relationship may have more obstacles than others might, but that you are committed to adjusting and finding away around those obstacles. DO NOT BE SURPRISED IF SHE TELLS YOU SHE'S GETTING HEAT FROM HER FAMILY FOR HAVING A WHITE DUDE AS A BOYFRIEND TOO.

No easy answers here bud, but I hope this, and the other posts, help in some way. Try to keep us posted on how you're doing.

Sincerely, A proud African-American. :)

[botwa]

I think that while you're still depending on your family as they provide you with home food and everything you need to live this situation may get tough. If they are not ready for compromises then you should really wait with this relationship before you are independent. You're just 15 and teenagers often go into extremes without realizing that it's not necessary.

[Ambrosia]

He asked for help, not for a bashing. Leave your opinions of the North/South to yourself and help him or else.
--------------------------------------------
In all honesty, confederacy is no longer in existence. There is America.
If you like the girl that much then date her. If it's worth it, then date her. If it's just a a silly high school crush, don't risk it.
And by God, kid, stop telling your family about your crushes!

[BOSS]

He asked for help, not for a bashing. Leave your opinions of the North/South to yourself and help him or else.
--------------------------------------------
In all honesty, confederacy is no longer in existence. There is America.
If you like the girl that much then date her. If it's worth it, then date her. If it's just a a silly high school crush, don't risk it.
And by God, kid, stop telling your family about your crushes!

Thanks bro oh and double thanks for telling people to HELP me instead of bashing my head in with "confederacy is bad" "your parents are ignorant" so on so forth. If I could I would lock this but I'm not a mod. -____-

[Clawhammer]

Oh, ye Gods, not this again...
First off, Confederacy is a political view which means exactly what it says, no more. The term you are looking for is racist, to be more eloquent here. I sympathize with a lot of CON-FEDERATE (political) views, but yes, this is obnoxious.
Now I know you like the girl a lot. But do keep in mind that you're still young, and turning your family against you so early can be a very, very bad idea. I by no means think that they are right, it's ridiculous and I think they need to get their heads of of the 1860's. Basically, what I'm saying is, make sure that she's worth quite possibly ruining the rest of your family life over, keeping in mind that you're still young and your feelings for her might change, but your family situation may take a lot longer to change. Tread carefully, lad, 15 is pretty early for shit like this.

[aperson444]

Why is everyone confusing Confederate with racism? Confederacy as a political ideology is solely a proponent of states' rights and on a smaller scale, Southern Nationalism and pride. It has nothing to do with racism.

Anyways, I think you should wait it out but don't let your family influence you like that. Also understand that it is nearly impossible to change your parents' views. What do they mean by "disowning" you?

[Ambrosia]

First off, you're welcome.
Second off, I'm a girl.
Third off, OP wants this locked. So. :locked:

Tread carefully, lad, 15 is pretty early for shit like this