Account deletion?

[PerpetualMotionSquad]

Hello can you delete my account please because it is an emergency !!!!!! :/

[Jess]

accounts can't be deleted...

if the emergency is your parents or something, just change your username, do anything you can think of to hide your identity

[TheMatrix]

Change your username and log out and never return.
Also, you can edit your posts to say "deleted" or report them to request deletion.

I'm sorry you have to go :(

[DefianttotheEnd]

This has been posted around eleventy times in the last month... accounts are never deleted.