Asexual or Pansexual?

[Megson]

I am sixteen, turning seventeen in April. All my life, I have NEVER been interested in sex. I had never looked at anyone and thought about 'doing' them. The thought of sex turns me off big time. Especially the thought of sex with a man.

On the other hand, I DO have a sex drive, I think. I've...erm, I've masterbated before. I just can't imagine doing any of 'those things' with another person. I can be emotionally attracted to just about anyone, as long as they're a nice person and treat me well. (I have more standards, of course, but those are the basics) I'm also physically attracted to certain types of people, male and female. But never really 'sexually.'

So, I'm really lost. Am I Pansexual? Or am I Asexual? Or...what?

[Magenta]

Asexuals do not necessarily have no sex drive. They just don't find it's triggered by anyone. Many will masturbate and (excuse the awkwardness that prolly radiates from this sentence) can pleasure themselves and feel no need for a sexual partner.

Asexuality, as much as I cringe to say this to anyone, could just be a phase. However, in some people, it can be more than that and is their sexuality. There was awhile where I thought I was completely asexual... as of late, I've noticed I'm a lot more lesbian than I ever thought I was. Just an example of it changing. Well, not changing, per se, just finding a part of myself I'd not noticed before.

My best advice is just let yourself experiment, find what works for you and maybe you'll find that you do find some people sexually appealing, just later than most people. There's also terms like 'heteroromantic' or 'panromantic', referring to your emotional preference in a relationship.

Lots of people are sexually attracted to only one sex but could be emotionally attracted to others but not want to do anything sexual with them.

Hope this helps some?

[Megson]

Asexuals do not necessarily have no sex drive. They just don't find it's triggered by anyone. Many will masturbate and (excuse the awkwardness that prolly radiates from this sentence) can pleasure themselves and feel no need for a sexual partner.

Asexuality, as much as I cringe to say this to anyone, could just be a phase. However, in some people, it can be more than that and is their sexuality. There was awhile where I thought I was completely asexual... as of late, I've noticed I'm a lot more lesbian than I ever thought I was. Just an example of it changing. Well, not changing, per se, just finding a part of myself I'd not noticed before.

My best advice is just let yourself experiment, find what works for you and maybe you'll find that you do find some people sexually appealing, just later than most people. There's also terms like 'heteroromantic' or 'panromantic', referring to your emotional preference in a relationship.

Lots of people are sexually attracted to only one sex but could be emotionally attracted to others but not want to do anything sexual with them.

Hope this helps some?

Thank you, this does help a little. I honestly haven't had a chance to experiment with either genders, although I can't exactly picture myself with a male for some reason. Not sexually. And I'm seldom emotionally attracted them, too.

I'll accept that this could be a phase. Maybe I'm just confused. I'll see in time. All I know for sure is that I'm probably not straight.

(Of course, being the way I am, I assume everything is a phase and I'll just 'get over it' in time... I don't know myself all that well, evidently.)

[lydia.ann00]

I think at some point the opportunity will present itself an you will enjoy it. You probably need a deeper relationship before a sexual one. I think that is great.

[kenoloor]

I think at some point the opportunity will present itself an you will enjoy it.

Nope. This is not necessarily correct. It is not always just a "you haven't experienced it yet" situation. If you talk to a lesbian and tell her "oh, you just haven't found the right guy yet," you'd probably get bitched at. That's a ridiculous notion.

That being said, I agree completely with Jo. Experimentation is a wonderful thing; there's also a thread that goes into more detail regarding that somewhere in this sexuality section. Just to supplement what she said, there are Romantic Orientations (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Romantic_orientation) which might also help explain some things.

[Aspiringanonymous]

"Assume heterosexual until proven bi/gay/pan/queer". Nope.
"Assume sexual until proven asexual." Nope.

Be yourself. No one else can ever answer the question of who you are in your stead, and they shouldn't anyway. Take your time and listen to your heart.

[Clawhammer]

Categories are just words, lass. You are what you are. Don't worry about it, especially not in the middle of the chaos that is the teenage years.