How would you feel if someone told you to stay in the closet due to homophobia

[ShyGuyInChicago]

How would you feel if saw a video for the It Gets Better project and the person in the video told you to stay in the closet until it is safe to come out?

[AppealToReason]

Well, I'd follow that advice if there was a risk of myself getting harmed by coming out.
I guess I'd feel relieved.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Well, I'd follow that advice if there was a risk of myself getting harmed by coming out.
I guess I'd feel relieved.

Would such a message discourage you? Would you feel worse about your sexuality?

[AppealToReason]

Most videos I've seen have said to come out and be proud no matter what, which is not always possible for everyone, so it's nice to hear the opposite.
It wouldn't make me feel worse or discouraged at all.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Most videos I've seen have said to come out and be proud no matter what, which is not always possible for everyone, so it's nice to hear the opposite.
It wouldn't make me feel worse or discouraged at all.

For the record here is the thread where I wrote what I would say.


http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=117726

[xxbunkxx]

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

[AppealToReason]

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

Why? I mean, I can understand people not agreeing with being gay, but to hate gay people? Fucked up.


Andy, I like your advice. Make the video if you really want to.

[trooneh]

Why? I mean, I can understand people not agreeing with being gay, but to hate gay people? Fucked up.


Andy, I like your advice. Make the video if you really want to.

Like Michael said, WHY do you hate gay people? That's completely irrational. It's like me saying I hate you because you're from Kentucky.

[RoseyCadaver]

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

How come? I can MAYBE understand some people being scared of gay people, like one person of a race being scared of another from past harm, but just hating them is silly.

But I guess you have a little chip in your head that dings when you know someone is gay, so you can know to hate them or not.Kk.

[Megson]

I feel like you should NOT come out in a dangerous environment. Hate crimes are committed everywhere, and I certainly wouldn't want to be a victim.

And thats just one of the worst case scenarios. What about bullying and harassment? Many kids have resorted to suicide as a result to that kind of treatment.

Bottom-line here: If coming out will be 'too' dangerous (physically OR mentally) then don't do it.

[Levy]

But, I'm tired of the closet, I keep coughing up mothballs.

[Marry the Night]

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

Good for you, but that statement IS mean, whether you want it to be or not.

Saying things like "not to be mean" and "no offence", doesn't mean you can just say unnecessary and hateful things like you just did.

[Coolcar65]

I really wouldnt mind the video. I mean be proud of who you are, and the person in the video cant be sure of how the people at your school would react. So why even pay attention if its not a sure thing?

[ShatteredWings]

Honestly, glad. It's sound advice.

[canadaski]

Don't come out right if you feel that you may be in danger or seriously doubt the acceptance threshold of the people around you. If you don't feel safe, wait until you do feel safe.

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

Please explain how you saying you "hate gays" isn't a mean thing to say. This thinking was likely instilled into your brain at a young age by some hypocritical religious buffoon.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you're a guy. Ask yourself, what you are trying to prove to yourself and others when you use that statement. Are you trying to prove that you're not gay? If that's what you are trying to do, you're sinking to a pretty low level to show it.

Also because of that statement, I'd better not catch you preaching world peace or civil rights to anybody or else that would be a contradictory statement, and people will think one of several things about you and none of which you would appreciate.

[xxbunkxx]

[QUOTE=Marry the Night;1515008]Good for you, but that statement IS mean, whether you want it to be or not.

Saying things like "not to be mean" and "no offence", doesn't mean you can just say unnecessary and hateful things like you just did.[/QUOTE
not to be mean but i just fucking did so get the fuck over it

[xxbunkxx]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

[AppealToReason]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

Wut.
Girl on Girl is fine, but guy on guy is bad?

[RoseyCadaver]

Wut.
Girl on Girl is fine, but guy on guy is bad?

This.


You know how ignorant you sound right now? "LUlz It'S oK for gurls to bang girls, bUT gaY men are GoiN' against Teh word of Gud."

I mean seriously. Don't you think the same rules would apply to women as well as men? Oh, I guess since two lesbians appeal to people more than two men, it's fine. BUT since two men grosses yo- I mean God out, than it's a wrong doing.

Also this being said, do you also hate people who wear mixed fabrics, that is going against the word of God. Do you also hate people who aren't Christian, people who don't go to church every weekend? This is going against the word of God, you know. Whoa! You must hate a lot of people! I don't see how someone could hate so many people, eh, I guess people are mean.

Why would God have made the option for people to be gay if he/she thinks it's wrong? Sure he/she gave us err "free will", but couldn't he have just made us all hetero, with out knowing. Oh wait, that is because being gay isn't a choice, and because the God that is possibly out there couldn't give a flying fuck if you want to screw the same or opposite sex.

[ShatteredWings]

Guies, on topic plz&ty

[shadman]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

Oh yeah that Adam and Eve, not Steve bull shit. God gave us dicks and viginas. Never told us how to us them. Same goes for are hearts. You love, who you love.

[canadaski]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

You're kidding right. If this is true, why did he make me gay? Also, how many fetuses that you'd "saved" do you think ended up being gay?

Your ignorance and your one dimensional mindset are hilarious. Please don't use that crap as an excuse for your hateful beliefs.

[oneDay]

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

I don't want to hurt your feelings, assuming you have any, but could you please be a little more sensitive. I respect all my brothers and sisters whether they're gay, straight, bisexual, or even from Kentucky so I'd really appreciate if you could do the same. Please?

[Misfit]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

This is quite obviously coming from someone who has never read a page of the bible in his entire life. Of course if there is one quote from the bible you should remember its not "love your neighbour" or "love one another; as I have loved you." you know the more kind ones, NO! only remember the hate filled ones like
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

[All The Small Things]

i like lesbians but not gay men eww i fine with bis thoe from both female and male but gay man :p

[redmann]

not to be mean but i hate gays ;/

I am truly sorry you live in your own little hateful world where you cant be accepting or loveing because you are so ignorant and biased. I hope you learn to get past it and be a nice person and love everyone. But in the meantime please keep your hurtful opinons to yourself because i know you offendd alot of people and that was very inappropriate to say on here where its supposed to be a loving accepting environment.

[Misfit]

i like lesbians but not gay men eww i fine with bis thoe from both female and male but gay man :p

lol wat?
So your fine with two bisexual guys liking each other but not to gay guys?
Also um we don't really care what you like and don't like you can keep all that to yourself.

[OstrichAficionado]

Some people were inevitably influenced by their social environment into greatly disliking homosexuality. So I guess, in a non-idealist perspective, staying 'in the closet' for security reasons is perfectly fine. Besides, no one is forcing anyone to come out. Discover your own pace.

Oh, by the way guys, wouldn't you think it's quite hypocritical to judge someone as 'irrational' for believing in something that you deem to be rather insignificant? Some people naturally hate the LGBT community, and some people believe in deities. Everyone has their own opinion. Some people, like me, are gay while others are not. Wouldn't it be best to just accept that?

It's pretty astonishing to find out that the very people that wish to discourage the 'proliferation of hate' does the same thing. Nevertheless, this too is an opinion.

[Emiil]

Good for you, but that statement IS mean, whether you want it to be or not.

Saying things like "not to be mean" and "no offence", doesn't mean you can just say unnecessary and hateful things like you just did.
not to be mean but i just fucking did so get the fuck over it

not to be mean but you're retarded

[Craig1995]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

Well if uve got someone like this in ur life i would stay in the closet untill u dont have to deal with that sorta crap.
I see where the message in the video is coming from for example my friends all know i am gay but mum and dad might not be so accepting so im waiting till i can move out if things dont go well.

[Giles]

I don't think that anyone should take what those videos say to heart, other than the one core message (It gets better, obviously.). The situations that LGBTQ teens can be in vary so much that any other advice is pretty much irrelevant - coming out of the closet in certain areas and circumstances could be difficult and even possibly dangerous, but that's not to say that staying in is the right thing to do somewhere else.

[idontusethisanymore]

They probably have your best interests at heart...wait till your older xx

[Abigballofdust]

i hate gays because its against the word of god god did not creat a man to bang another man he created man to bang women and for women to bang men and other women

What a troll.
Look at you, ain't it sad when somebody whom English isn't even his main language can own you at your own tongue?
Guess your grammar knowledge reflects your actual intelligence. Besides being completely bigot, you're also sexist and chauvinist. Poor that woman that will ever have (to suffer) you.

On topic, yes, I would stay in. It's simply better, safer, however, I don't live in a country that's really accepting towards gay people.
If your environment lets you come out, you can come out. But don't shout it to the whole world because it might get you in serious trouble.

[Giles]

What a troll.
Look at you, ain't it sad when somebody whom English isn't even his main language can own you at your own tongue?
Guess your grammar knowledge reflects your actual intelligence. Besides being completely bigot, you're also sexist and chauvinist. Poor that woman that will ever have (to suffer) you.

The thing with trolls is that they try to elicit a response. This one succeeded.

[Abigballofdust]

The thing with trolls is that they try to elicit a response. This one succeeded.

My will to do well forces me into giving a sense to people's lives.

[TheMightyBruce]

Ok...lets get real...this debate and mudslinging is gonna go on forever. Feel like a mod should close this before everyone starts killing each other.

[Gandalf]

Deleted. Didn't realise the how old this thread was.

[Giles]

Ok...lets get real...this debate and mudslinging is gonna go on forever. Feel like a mod should close this before everyone starts killing each other.

If you want a thread to be locked then you need to report the thread.

[Donkey]

I think we're done here. :locked: