Curious question?

[SportsNutChase]

So im a str8 guy. No problem with gay guys at all. I have a few friends that have come out to me and thats cool. I was at the gym last night with a friend and he did the same told me he was gay? We were changing at the time still no problem I dont care abt being naked but I found myself thinking about it later that night. Never really looked at his body until he said that? IDK what my qustion is but I guess Im curious too, any similar curious feelings?

[Antagonist]

Hmm. I know exactly how you feel. Are you growing feelings for HIM or his BODY? Or has it just started now?

[SportsNutChase]

He is a good friend and dont think about him like that? but i just dont remember checking out his body before? I feel like when he said he was gay it was ok to look ? i know that sounds stupid but its true and he is way cut up too. He is my workout buddy

[Antagonist]

Hm. Sounds like you are becoming curious to me .-. It doesnt sound stupid to me. Just wait it out for a little while and see what you feel. How many gay/bi freinds do you have? That also may have spmething to do with it

[Giles]

If you're only interested in his body then I wouldn't say you're gay (or bi). More like you're just curious about his body, a lot of straight guys check out other guys, straight, bi or gay.

[Antagonist]

Just wait it out longer. People say people are born gay, but you can turn bi or gay so like i said, wait wait wait. If you grow literal feelongs like more than freinds then MAYBE you can call yourself bi.

[Antagonist]

And I cant PM you back, I have like 55 posts.

[Jakemclure]

I'm curious too

[LGCALI]

Just wait it out longer. People say people are born gay, but you can turn bi or gay so like i said, wait wait wait. If you grow literal feelongs like more than freinds then MAYBE you can call yourself bi.


Why does he have to "call" himself anything, especially at the apparent age you all are here.

And wassup with "turning" bi or gay? Young people may "choose" to experiment with this behavior, or that behavior, but they don' t "turn" into anything as a result of this experimentation. It is far more common for the experimentation to REVEAL, and this usually takes some time, the person's sexual orientation to them.

Just using the thousands of comments on the subject on this site, and not even looking at the medical, psychological, and sexual studies, it seems far more common for someone to "realize" their orientation as they grow older. I've seen no comment where the dude woke up one morning and discovered he had " turned."

[cpr97]

He is a good friend and dont think about him like that? but i just dont remember checking out his body before? I feel like when he said he was gay it was ok to look ? i know that sounds stupid but its true and he is way cut up too. He is my workout buddy

prolly cuz youve been curious for a while but were afraid of the consequences if he caught you "checkin" him out but yea it sounds like your curious like other people have told me on here if you dont have emotional feelins for boys like you would a girlfriend or whatever then your not gay or bi just curious n its normal to be curious n want to or actually experiment durin puberty im not tellin you to try stuff with a guy but i mean if your curious dont not try it just cuz your not gay/bi pretty much from what ive seen is bein gay or bi is bout datin more then what happens in the bedroom
i think alot of guys that do stuff with other guys is more or less just to blow a load n a cure for bein horny

[Antagonist]

LGCALI i meant that if he got emptional feelings for someone, then maybe he could say he is bi, because emotional feelings are way different than physical attractions.

And. Turning bi or gay is complicated. You can just say you are, you have to feel it.

For instance. Im bi. And o am because i could think of dating a dude, kissing one, and actually being affectionate. Not like "i want sex, so wheres a dude?".

[Unsolvedmind]

I would say your curious and all boys will look at different boys at some time in life

[LGCALI]

LGCALI i meant that if he got emptional feelings for someone, then maybe he could say he is bi, because emotional feelings are way different than physical attractions.

And. Turning bi or gay is complicated. You can just say you are, you have to feel it.

For instance. Im bi. And o am because i could think of dating a dude, kissing one, and actually being affectionate. Not like "i want sex, so wheres a dude?".


Hey bud, I see your point regarding emotional feelings. But my point is that I notice a lot of "labeling" on here. And I would suggest that at your ages, "labels" can change. You guys are looking for clear definitions of behaviors that are almost always exploratory and experimental at this age.

I would never tell my son that if he ever finds himself looking at one of his friends in the shower, he needs to "check for emotional feelings" so he can decide what sexual category he should place himself in. He looked at another dude in the shower, end of story.

I would also submit that the emotional feelings should be accompanied by some action on those feelings before a guy even STARTS wondering if he's this, that, or the other.

Regarding "turning" being complicated. I would think it would have to be incredibly complicated because "in general" it doesn't happen.

Look. You said, "Im bi. And o am because i could think of dating a dude, kissing one, and actually being affectionate. Not like "i want sex, so wheres a dude?"

Consider this: If when you are 25 years old, and have never dated another dude, kissed another dude, or been affectionate with another dude...(even though you've thought about it all those years) ...AND, you are having regular sex with a woman... Does this mean that you "turned" from bi to straight???

I just have a hard time with kids rushing to put themselves in a category based on behaviors and feelings that are occurring during the most tumultuous, confusing, and exasperating time of their lives. And, I REALLY have a hard time understanding how you're supposed to grow up with a healthy view of your sexuality if there's a possibility that some combination of these behaviors and feelings could " turn" you into a member of a "different category" at some point.

I think this is a great discussion and I appreciate you reading and replying to my contribution.

[Giles]

Just using the thousands of comments on the subject on this site, and not even looking at the medical, psychological, and sexual studies, it seems far more common for someone to "realize" their orientation as they grow older. I've seen no comment where the dude woke up one morning and discovered he had " turned."

I agree with your point that he doesn't need to call himself anything however I very strongly disagree that people cannot 'turn' to another sexuality. I don't see how someone could stop having serious feelings for one gender and then switch to another, without being bisexual.

[LGCALI]

I agree with your point that he doesn't need to call himself anything however I very strongly disagree that people cannot 'turn' to another sexuality. I don't see how someone could stop having serious feelings for one gender and then switch to another, without being bisexual.

Wassup Giles, I hope we're not getting too far from what the first poster asked, but I'm a little confused by your reply. You said you don't see how someone could stop having serious feelings for one gender and then switch to another....

I think you're right! I think stopping feelings for one and switching to another would be an example of "TURNING" and generally people do not do that, they discover their preferences as they grow older and gain experience. In other words, that was their orientation all along, they just didn't know it.

Quick example: One of my very best friends growing up had sexual experiences exclusively with girls from his first time (happened to be with the same girl that I had my first time with...and no it wasn't at the same time so don't even go there, lol) until we went away to college. During vacation our freshman year he told me he had had sex with another dude and liked it, but since he was drunk at the time he wasn't sure what it all meant. I told him to do it again sober, and if he still liked it he'd know. He told me later that he did and that he is exclusively gay with regards to relationships and sex. He said that he did not get the same emotions when he was in a relationship and having sex with girls that he got with guys...AND HE KNEW HE WAS NOT BI because he never has the desire to have sex with a girl now. He feels that he was always gay but just hadn't discovered it.

You guys are trying to make these decisions based on curiosity, confused feelings, and mixed emotions and WITHOUT any specific pattern of behaviors that would warrant trying to decide if you're gay, st8, bi or whatever. THEN..some are saying that DIFFERENT feelings and emotions could mean you're "turning" into something else. Hmmm...does that mean, if I start having strong feelings about bowing toward Mecca twice a day, I'm turning into a Muslim. (ok that's a joke)

Seriously, if someone can turn 'gay' or 'bi', then by definition they can turn 'not gay' or 'not bi'....there are millions of gay, straight, and bi people that would argue that they were born the way they are and couldn't change to something else even if they wanted to.