21 days

[Megson]

But I'm not proud of it. I don't feel like it's an accomplsihment. I feel like I'm missing something. I want to cut, but I have no reason to. Nothing is different. I'm still lonely. I still hate myself. I'm still fat and unattractive. I'm still questioning my sexuality in a homophobic town. School is still stressful. My 'friends' still ignore me a large amount of the time. But things are better, somehow. Maybe I got used to it. I just haven't been feeling so terrible lately.

It's almost like I miss feeling that way. Don't get me wrong, I HATED it. But now that things are 'better' I can't cut. I don't cut unless I feel like I can justify it. It's like some sort of rule I have in the back of my mind. I just can't bring myself to do it if I have no reason...

[Iris]

I know how you feel. When I just felt the general depression of life, without any particular spike in anger or misery, I'd do things that would incite others, create an argument or something, and give myself an excuse to cut. But you have to realize that this inability is better in the long run. You may miss it now, but these 21 days are a sign that you can get out of cutting completely. Instead of looking at it as an indication that you're getting used to misery, or that not cutting is nothing for you to be proud of, focus on this as a chance to break free. There are other ways to deal with painful things, other than cutting. If you're given the opportunity to learn to cope through other methods, seize it. You don't need to justify creating art or taking up a hobby the way you have to justify cutting. :)

Look at this as a gift, hun. Take this opportunity before you do something you'll regret just to go back to what you feel is comforting and familiar. Forge a new path.