It's getting worse

[Nevermore]

So.. I've limited my food groups again. I'm only allowing myself to eat lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, celery, water, tea, coffee, frozen yogurt (on special occasions). And sometimes fruit, grilled veggies, bread, and granola. Basically if I don't eat under 300 cals i get depressed. I binged on nuts the last 3 days. Probably the most protein my bodies seen in months. I now want to add exercising, and I've started diet pills, laxatives, and keep trying to purge. I hate my body and I hate me.

[Amaryllis]

Sweetheart, starving yourself and losing weight is in no way going to make you love yourself more. Trust me, I compulsively overexercised and counted calories till I became just skin and bones. I'd freak out over 1/6 of a piece of lettuce. It was absolutely horrible.

Living was torture. Literally. My body was so recked, I was in pain -all the time- and I could never sleep. I'd just pace the corridors at night burning calories, my body was so ruined it couldn't rest. You know those starving kids you see? I looked like one of those.

I could count my ribs, my hips, the bones in my butt, chest, face. I looked beyond horrific. Nobody talked to me. Absolutely no one. The psychologists couldn't help me anymore and I was going to die. I didn't though. I really, really wanted to recover so I did. It took a lot of effort and setbacks but I still did it and recovery truly is worth all of the tears.

I put on the weight I lost and more, but that's alright. I don't love myself as much as I should but I'm not absolutely, horribly miserable now. Nothing comes of eating disorders, well, maybe except maturity and understanding. But even that depends on the person.

Now that I'm recovered, I have friends. Not as many as I did before, because people are afraid of me now. And I lost all my friendships. But that's okay, I'll build it back up.

Eating disorders do not solve anything, sweetheart. Being skinny won't make all the pain and all your problems go away. Releasing all the pain on yourself and finding control in the calories isn't going to make anything better. You can be whatever weight and still hate yourself.

If you continue on this road you're on, you'll find yourself in a place worse than anything you've known. I'm sure many people who are reliant on drugs wish they never began in the first place. Eating disorders are like that, in a way. It may seem like a way to cope now but it isn't. Things -will- get worse.

Be brave enough to ask for help and recover. If you stumble a bit, that's okay, keep going. This isn't how you want to live the rest of your life. Imagine how much happier you'll be without all these thoughts flooding your mind 24/7. Stay strong, honey. You can do this.

[SWMG]

Girl, by starving, purging and living that you will feel each time more and more disgusted with yourself and the scale will be your only limit. Just think by eating this way you are just isolating yourself from your surroundings because it is hard to explain why you eat that way or why you dont eat.
Please be conscient of what this will cause to your body, YOU, your family and friends.

[Kuervo]

yeah seriously Sammy, this is no way of treating your body. Youre only 15 and you shouldnt be taking diet pills or laxatives. Please, take care of yourself and use the proper ways if your trying to loose weight. exercise, eat healthy, but dont starve yourself. if you get depressed by eating too much, then you should see a psychologist because this is not good for you.