Lost Girl
November 17th, 2011, 12:06 AM
Hello there, I'm extremely new here.
I need a place like this, i need a place where there are other people going through a crazy time in their lives. because for so long now i have been feeling alone and isolated from everyone.
In the darkest of times people could have been screaming at me telling me they care but i couldn't hear them even if i wanted to.
Life has never been as easy for me as it seems to many others, and lately i struggle to do even the simple things like; sleep, eat, talk and be part of social situations.
I have a strange irrational fear that everyone i love will leave me, because it has happened so many times before. they get sick of my crap and i become so afraid of loosing them, i push them away but when i look back they are gone.
This affects i lot of this i do, most commonly with friends. Because i always have this voice in the back of my head telling me that they will all leave me.
And the ones i say this too, will always say that they will never leave me but they are the ones that always do.
About 4 months ago i was diagnosed with depression and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) it was really hard to hear that i had mental illness and i felt like a complete screw up and sometimes i still do.
But in a way it was good to have a name for the madness inside my head, to prove that i wasn't completely crazy and just being attention seeking and stupid. Which was how i felt a lot of the time, and still do.
I feel so guilty for those who have to be around me, such as family and close friends because i have been so hard to be around and deal with.
i have seen so many doctors and counselors that i have lost count.
I'm a little worried about putting this all down where others can see it all, and i don't want to completely share the inner working of my mind with you all because it is such a scary place.
But i thought i would share a little of my story with you.
I'm not completely sure how this site works yet but I'm here if you know what its like to be a lost girl or a lost boy.
...You're not alone, as lonely and isolated you may feel you're not alone.
one thing i have learnt through all of my struggles is that we are stronger than we may feel.
x Lost Girl.
I need a place like this, i need a place where there are other people going through a crazy time in their lives. because for so long now i have been feeling alone and isolated from everyone.
In the darkest of times people could have been screaming at me telling me they care but i couldn't hear them even if i wanted to.
Life has never been as easy for me as it seems to many others, and lately i struggle to do even the simple things like; sleep, eat, talk and be part of social situations.
I have a strange irrational fear that everyone i love will leave me, because it has happened so many times before. they get sick of my crap and i become so afraid of loosing them, i push them away but when i look back they are gone.
This affects i lot of this i do, most commonly with friends. Because i always have this voice in the back of my head telling me that they will all leave me.
And the ones i say this too, will always say that they will never leave me but they are the ones that always do.
About 4 months ago i was diagnosed with depression and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) it was really hard to hear that i had mental illness and i felt like a complete screw up and sometimes i still do.
But in a way it was good to have a name for the madness inside my head, to prove that i wasn't completely crazy and just being attention seeking and stupid. Which was how i felt a lot of the time, and still do.
I feel so guilty for those who have to be around me, such as family and close friends because i have been so hard to be around and deal with.
i have seen so many doctors and counselors that i have lost count.
I'm a little worried about putting this all down where others can see it all, and i don't want to completely share the inner working of my mind with you all because it is such a scary place.
But i thought i would share a little of my story with you.
I'm not completely sure how this site works yet but I'm here if you know what its like to be a lost girl or a lost boy.
...You're not alone, as lonely and isolated you may feel you're not alone.
one thing i have learnt through all of my struggles is that we are stronger than we may feel.
x Lost Girl.