Close to Death

[dark_soul777]

Lately I've been getting really depressed again. I have started cutting again, this time using a sharp craft knife. I'm having suicidal thoughts again and I have a plan, I have 46 pills in the drawer next to my bed along with a razor blade. I know I need help but I can't tell my therapist or my parents because If you have a plan and the means to execute it I know that most of the times you end up in hospital...
I just really don't know anymore. Today at therapy I was in the waiting room and I realized I had my blade with me. I went to the the toilet and made 3 cuts, they bled a lot and it was hard to hide them when the appointment started, now the adrenalin has made me feel like I've had way to much coffee and I know I wont be able to sleep (Its almost 2 am already), and I will feel even worse in the morning.
The only reasons I haven't killed myself yet are that I know I'll devastate my family and the girl I love if I do.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is should I tell my therapist about my plan and how can I do it without hurting my family in the process?

[Nexus]

Honestly, you've provided your own reasoning as to why you shouldn't kill yourself. Your family and a girl you have feelings for. Let them be every reason to keep living. Eventually you'll be able to live for your own needs and your own desires. I'm sure you have aspirations and I'm sure you'd like to see yourself live them out. If you can convince yourself that this is merely a difficult transitional period for you, then you'll make it in the long run.

[DefianttotheEnd]

Honestly, you've provided your own reasoning as to why you shouldn't kill yourself. Your family and a girl you have feelings for. Let them be every reason to keep living. Eventually you'll be able to live for your own needs and your own desires. I'm sure you have aspirations and I'm sure you'd like to see yourself live them out. If you can convince yourself that this is merely a difficult transitional period for you, then you'll make it in the long run.

[Antagonist]

If you already have the reasons for NOT killing yourself, then it will be okay. Maybe you coud talk to a freind, they help too.

[Solvez18]

you've answered ur own question. but yes. tell ur therapist if ur comforatable.

[Perfectly Imperfect]

Ending a life isnt a way to go

[crazyhyperway]

Don't give up on life. Like everyone else said, think of people that are close to you