numb

[Ashleigh]

ok. so for the past four or five years ive been getting these feelings of extreme numbness, like im not in my body and that my body is totally empty of organs.

it feels like im watching a movie. a movie of my life. i feel like i have no control over what im doing even though i know i have full control. and when i look in the mirror i dont ever really recognise who i am.

at first i rarely felt numb at all. it was only about once or twice every other month. then it started to get a little bit worse and now i cant seem to go two days at a max without feeling it.

i did some research after talking to a counciller and i think that what i have is depersonalization disorder. but why am i feeling this? i discovered its triggered by traumatic events in a persons past but ive not had anything like that happen to me. i dont know whats wrong with me.

[Amaryllis]

Hey Ashleigh. I suffer from a dissociative disorder. I understand how numb you feel and how confusing all of this is for you. If I look at all my childhood memories, it just feels like I'm not that girl. But this happens for a lot of people as well. The numbness you feel could also stem from depression.

I go through periods(and I'm going through one now) where I'm just really numb. It's also somewhat like have a weight pressing down on you and you just can't breathe.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions or start looking up on mental illnesses before you get a professional diagnosis. All it does is make you create symptoms for yourself. It's best to be diagnosed by a professional psychologist or psychiatrist.

Good luck sweetheart and stay strong. You'll get through this.