SirentoCries
November 8th, 2011, 07:22 AM
Since I am a new comer here, gotta state something first. Although I am not smart, I don't know everything but I don't act smart after knowing a little something. I am not ignorant. I know I may be taking things for granted but don't say things like I don't appreciate for the things I have... It is pointless and futile. I am in denial for many things, and I know that, sadly, I can't change my habit.
DX I know my post is long, so THERE ARE POINTS DOWN THERE xD!!!
My life had always been shit with loads of bad luck. I coped with it and lived with it. I think depression really got me there, I may have developed depression and anxiety since 5 or 6 ( I rmb I sat by the corner of a window sill and home alone. The sky was mad, roaring with thunders, raging and crying. I opened my little music box, looked up, tears dropping for I don't know why, I just know I was crying...painfully)) I tried to stay strong as a little girl, I pulled myself up after many frightful events.......just note, I tried.
A few years ago, probably about 6-7 years ago, I started to lose my innocent...and losing motivation and interest in a lot of things and becoming more apathetic. Just like any other people, I always fake smile, fake happiness when in front of teachers and classmates. Although I do try to enjoy the little time with my very few friends that I have. I am a loner, I chose to be one, I don't really mind.
I am in my last year of High School, I aims to get into university so stuff are getting real tight and tough here. However I am one of the very few High School students aiming at university with the following things falling apart:
-Friends
-Family (Already broken..., still breaking)
-Academically... (I don't think I am even eligible to apply for universities)
-Financially
-Physically
-Mentally
Basically my whole life...
I need helps, I heeded and heeded for helps...still nothing...
What should I do....Can I just die in the realm of happiness?
DX I know my post is long, so THERE ARE POINTS DOWN THERE xD!!!
My life had always been shit with loads of bad luck. I coped with it and lived with it. I think depression really got me there, I may have developed depression and anxiety since 5 or 6 ( I rmb I sat by the corner of a window sill and home alone. The sky was mad, roaring with thunders, raging and crying. I opened my little music box, looked up, tears dropping for I don't know why, I just know I was crying...painfully)) I tried to stay strong as a little girl, I pulled myself up after many frightful events.......just note, I tried.
A few years ago, probably about 6-7 years ago, I started to lose my innocent...and losing motivation and interest in a lot of things and becoming more apathetic. Just like any other people, I always fake smile, fake happiness when in front of teachers and classmates. Although I do try to enjoy the little time with my very few friends that I have. I am a loner, I chose to be one, I don't really mind.
I am in my last year of High School, I aims to get into university so stuff are getting real tight and tough here. However I am one of the very few High School students aiming at university with the following things falling apart:
-Friends
-Family (Already broken..., still breaking)
-Academically... (I don't think I am even eligible to apply for universities)
-Financially
-Physically
-Mentally
Basically my whole life...
I need helps, I heeded and heeded for helps...still nothing...
What should I do....Can I just die in the realm of happiness?