bambino
November 7th, 2011, 01:05 PM
Hey guys, I've self harmed since i was 14, 15 [now 19] and I used to go on here a lot when I was self harming regularly. Recently I went 3 months selfharm free, had a little relapse, and now its been another 2 months with no SH.
so i wanted to tell you all there is hope! it does get better with time. No matter how hard it seems to imagine now, and trust me I know how it can feel like it is impossible to stop, but it can be done and you can actually feel a whole lot better withut it. This is how it went for me, I know it will be different for everyone but i just wanted to share my 'life without self harm' experience.
1st stage
- I am depressed and want to cut...this is tough
- i flick hair bands against my wrist, wear shoes that give me blisters to compensate
2nd stage
-feel a bit lost and that little voice in my head makes me guilty that I havent been SH-ing
-I tell it to shut up and that I have made the decision that I'm are going to be happy without it
-try and focus on work and being with friends
3rd stage
-I'm beginning to feel a bit better
- I get the occasional urge
4th stage
- returns with a vegence, I've had a bad time and I keep getting really bad urges
-not sure how to cope with urges, I use 'The Butterfly Project' get a pen and drew all over on my arms, stomach, made them colorful
5th stage
- I have abstained for so long i really do not want to SH
- I feel like I'm becoming my own person again, before I couldn't imagine not SH-ing because it was such a big part of me, now I realize it took away so much!
- I start to enjoy things again
Of course, I'm still getting urges. But I'm coping with stress in a lot healthier ways, if I feel bad I will talk to my family or friends and tell them I'm upset, or I will throw myself into work or just sit with my dog, or make a cup of tea, write in my journal. It helps to stay distracted.
I'm just saying that with time, the pull of SH becomes less and less. You feel less guilty about not doing it, and you begin to feel a lot more you. Eventually you will be able to happy, when you are indepent of your SH. I promise
love you all so much
please stay strong, I believe in you
so i wanted to tell you all there is hope! it does get better with time. No matter how hard it seems to imagine now, and trust me I know how it can feel like it is impossible to stop, but it can be done and you can actually feel a whole lot better withut it. This is how it went for me, I know it will be different for everyone but i just wanted to share my 'life without self harm' experience.
1st stage
- I am depressed and want to cut...this is tough
- i flick hair bands against my wrist, wear shoes that give me blisters to compensate
2nd stage
-feel a bit lost and that little voice in my head makes me guilty that I havent been SH-ing
-I tell it to shut up and that I have made the decision that I'm are going to be happy without it
-try and focus on work and being with friends
3rd stage
-I'm beginning to feel a bit better
- I get the occasional urge
4th stage
- returns with a vegence, I've had a bad time and I keep getting really bad urges
-not sure how to cope with urges, I use 'The Butterfly Project' get a pen and drew all over on my arms, stomach, made them colorful
5th stage
- I have abstained for so long i really do not want to SH
- I feel like I'm becoming my own person again, before I couldn't imagine not SH-ing because it was such a big part of me, now I realize it took away so much!
- I start to enjoy things again
Of course, I'm still getting urges. But I'm coping with stress in a lot healthier ways, if I feel bad I will talk to my family or friends and tell them I'm upset, or I will throw myself into work or just sit with my dog, or make a cup of tea, write in my journal. It helps to stay distracted.
I'm just saying that with time, the pull of SH becomes less and less. You feel less guilty about not doing it, and you begin to feel a lot more you. Eventually you will be able to happy, when you are indepent of your SH. I promise
love you all so much
please stay strong, I believe in you