The Ultimatum of my problems.

[Dack]

I have much more than relationship problems, though this is the basis of them st the moment.

My friend poppy, whilst discussing my relationship issues, brought up an amazing point; "you have to click, its about chemistry and compatibility". I fully agree, however the problem I am having here is getting out there, finding girls, talking to them. I have no self esteem, I can't talk to them without worrying they'll judge me instantly, see how my school reputation is, and ultimately, my chance is ruined. And it's not a conscious decision, if given the chance I'll text over talk most of the time because it's easier to show who you really are, right? But it's less genuine. People don't take you seriously, and I read posts here in these forums, stating they think he/she likes them. I have never had an idea like that, never noticed it and if I did overlook it, it's because I'm oblivious to it, I accept my unatractivness. It's impossible to deny that it's there, I never get those sweet texts where people are saying "good morning cutie" or even good fucking morning texts in general.


What am I doing wrong? I'm a nice guy, I guess people just don't see it, they see a guy who's acting creepy, obviously trying to fuck them, right? All of us guys are the same, all we think is sexsexsex, amirite?

Can anyone help me? I know it's rangy but it had questions in it as well.

[MjamesC]

I'm right there with you. I never seem to get anyone and I'm always paranoid once I do get someone. But there has only been one someone and she is... gone. Everyone tells me I'm such a nice guy but it doesn't really matter in the end because they always say "I don't like you THAT way." But that I'll "find someone."

I'm not sure what to tell you since I'm combatting this as well. It seems that when I see all these people with girlfriends I just want to... connect with someone. And then I feel empty inside.

[Bob_]

Yeah, I understand, so I'll try to help. First off, even though you're not hot shit like the 'cool kids' in your grade, that doesn't mean you're any different as a person. I've learned to accept this for myself and ignored it, and if you just deal with physical differences, they'll get used to it, and won't think anything of it. Second, I say this to anyone, including remembering it myself: STOP GIVING A SHIT WHAT OTHERS THINK. It seems like it's something that you'll never beat, but if you remember that, you'll never have to put up with other people thinking badly of you. Third, liking girs. So you think you havdn't but that's because you feel that you're not good enough for them. But it's always worth a try, trust me. I made that mistake myself of not trying just today... But you don't need to like anyone, so don't worry about it.

So, with that, here's a little advice: Just keep a smile on your face, and help spread hapiness. Everyone can always use somebody to spread the hapiness. =D

If you need any more help, don't hesitate to contact me.

[Dack]

Thanks for the replies, guys.

I have trouble even getting out there and meeting new people. I'm terribly shy, I can't seem to get over it. With friends, I act completely normal, but when it comes to meeting new people by myself, I just can't do it. I don't know what my problem is.

I want a girlfriend, someone who looks at me and thinks they're lucky to have me. Im not even looking for a sexual relationship, just one where we share trust and are happy with each other. It seems that's too much to ask these days, sadly.

[LuckyLuke]

Hey Cailean,

If you've seen my blog, you know that I'm going through the same problem- likely not identical but the concept that I have a reputation for something around the school stopping girls from liking me and turning them away a bit.

I guess we're just those guys that "every girl would want" but none would have.

Just try and make it through, soon you'll be graduating and it can be better.