XxMurderedKissesxX
November 4th, 2011, 11:11 AM
Idunno why,but every year as soon as it hits sept to feb, I slowly feel my mind set,shift. Sept.hospitalization,jan,hospitalization. I can feel myself sliding away from my normal thinking patterens into more..distructive processing. I know it isnt seasonal depression,because Ive been tested for that. Anyway! Im currently trying to "recover" from a eating disorder and self harming. But I know soon,im going to become much worse. And Idunno if ill beable to drag myself back out into "getting better". I could barely do it the first time.. I have no idea what to do. And im afraid of completely loosing it. I thought maybe trying to deal with each "problem" separately would work. But there all linked. Sometimes I miss the blade,the pain,the control. Everything.Im at my breaking point,and im out of answers.