mature problem

[xtasy]

ive been feeling confused and lost and i couldnt hold this in anymore. im 13 and ive sorta been seeing this 22 year old who is really nice and he cares about me, but since hes older, he has needs, of the sexual kind. if i dont give him something then i will lose him. i dont know what to do. advice? :confused:

[Hollywood]

If he's going to leave you because you won't 'give him any', then he's not in it for the love. Let him leave.

[TylerBecker14]

Just leave him

[LuckyLuke]

My dear,

If you're 13 and he's 22 he cannot possibly be in it because he "loves you". How long have you been going out anyway? What- a few months?

I hate to be harsh and burst your bubble with a mace but the fact of the matter is, you need to hear it like this:

- If he can love and respect your personality and you're THIRTEEN, I don't care how mature you are, he's certainly more mature and just acting to truly, truly love you for sex. A man of 22 who has a "real connection" with a girl of 13 isn't a man at all.

- If he's going to leave you if you don't have sex with him, that further proves my point. Someone who truly loves you won't force or ask you to do things you don't want to do.

- He's taking advantage of you because you're insecure about yourself. I know how difficult it may be to come to terms with it but look at yourself deeply in the mirror and ask, "Do I love me and who I am?". You lived without him for (I shudder to say this early age) 13 years, you can live without him for 5 more (the day you're actually legal).

If he were caught, he'd be arrested and imprisoned for a VERY long time. What he's doing is against the law.

HE. IS. A. PREDATOR. & you need to realize this.

My dear, don't let this MAN control your life. Don't let this MAN take away your childhood. Leave now.

Good luck and best wishes,

Lucky Luke

[Hollywood]

...If he were caught, he'd be arrested and imprisoned for a VERY long time. What he's doing is against the law...

Bang on. Not only is what he's doing wrong on quite a few levels, but it's also illegal. The age of consent is 16 in most places.

I hope you make the decision to leave him. Too many young girls get caught up in relationships with older guys and wind up being hurt, physically and emotionally.

Good luck, and give us updates if you need more help.

[Bob_]

I'm one of the last people to say something's not okay, but a NINE YEAR age difference? Especially at such a young age. It's pointless for you to be in this relationship, you will just lose in everything involved. It's not helathy for him to date a, no offense, defenseless child, either.

[Abyssinian]

I'm still a few years off 22, and I don't mean to be offensive to you but I see most 13 year olds as basically children. I don't know you personally though, there are some 13 year olds who can come across as older and more mature..

Above posters are correct though, what you're doing isn't really correct, socially... Sorry to disappoint you, I know young love stings, but if he leaves you because you won't "give it up" then you will move on eventually and find someone you can truly be with =)

[Jean Poutine]

I would never have anything going on emotionally with a 13 years old. I'm a fully grown-up man. I have different needs and worries than a tween. What exactly could I talk to you about?

The answer : nothing.

Move on.

[TheButterflyProject]

I know the situation is a little diffrent, buuuut i'm gonna give it a shot.

I am 15 now. When I was 14 I dated a 17 year old. It was fun for a while, but then he started to want more out of the relationship. He began trying to sway me to want the same things he did. I was not happy. Even my friends began to notice. My one friend, we'll call her Z, decided she wanted to see how we acted around eachother. We decided to go to the mall together. While we were in the food court he tried to put his hand through the sleeve of my shirt to touch my chest. I instantly grew uncomfortable. My friend could tell. He wanted sexual things between us. I hadn't done more then kiss someone before, let alone have someone trying to push sex. A little while after that day, I broke up with him. I thought he was just a part of my past. But boy was I wrong. He began following me places and showing up at places he knew I went. He wouldn't accept the fact that we weren't dating anymore. Sometime after his 18th birthday and my 15th he even showed up at a public pool one day when I went with a group of friends. I didn't realize he was there untill he showed up behind me while we were all in the pool. He pratically forced himself against me, blocking me from getting away from him. He forced me to kiss him. I hit him and ledt the pool.



Moral of that story; Never date an older guy. Hope that helps a little. If not, well, sorry.

[Abyssinian]

... I hit him and ledt the pool.

Good on you =/ what a jerk...

OP, your situation could be completely different, but be careful nonetheless and I still believe you should leave him.. just my opinion. Good luck!

[Jean Poutine]

Moral of that story; Never date an older guy.

That...depends.

[ajp1993]

Moral of that story; Never date an older guy. Hope that helps a little. If not, well, sorry.


Harsh! The moral is, dont date a jerk. If a guy is trying to make you do things you dont want to leave him, and if he wont then leave you alone tell someone about it. I can kinda understand say 14yr-old with a 18yr old, or 18yr-old wih 22yr-old, but seriously 13 with 22?!? You need to ask yourself some serious questions about your 'relationship' with him

[Hollywood]

Moral of that story; Never date an older guy. Hope that helps a little. If not, well, sorry.

There are exceptions, although this and your situation are obviously not one of them. I'd say teenagers shouldn't venture too far out of their age range, but really there are freaks and morons in every age group.

I'd say the best advice is to get out of any relationship where a guy is threatening to leave without sex/pictures/things of that nature. If a guy truly wants to be with you for the right reasons, he knows he has to wait for those things to naturally happen, and he isn't thinking about it/bugging you about it 24/7.

And I'm sorry for the ordeal you had to endure, TheButterflyProject.

[Hank Hill]

Okay, I'm just gonna do this quickly. This guy (and possibly you) can get in a LOT of trouble if you guys did what he wants. He may just want you to put out because he's messed up. I would NOT do anything, and if I were you I would distance myself from him. He might get angry if you don't do what he wants.

Good luck with everything,

~Tyler

[Amaryllis]

Sweetheart, this relationship isn't going to work. I hate to break it to you, but your age gap is way too big. Perhaps, when you're both mature adults, it would be fine. As of now, you really shouldn't be dating him. He could be using you. Even if he wasn't, this is completely illegal and wrong.

He shouldn't be pressuring a 13 year old girl to have sex with him, or even do anything mildly sexual. You're a young girl, you just want to be loved. But sweetheart, you're going to fall in and out of tons of relationships before you find the right one. That is, if you ever do.

Don't grow up so fast. I'd have loved to be an innocent, virgin girl at your age. Respect yourself, and that includes your boundaries. He isn't worth it, honey. Don't try so hard to please everyone else and be loved. Take it slow. You have your whole life ahead of you. He won't be the last guy you'll ever like/love, neither is he the last guy who will ever be attracted to you.