still worried.

[paranoid1]

i need helppp! lol


so, i posted something about this before...when it all first started.

my friend and i have been friends for about 2 years now, and last year we started being really affectionate, and not like "normal" guy best friends. like, for a while we stopped talking all together and even before that we stopped being affectionate and telling eachother "i love you" all the time, but now that we're best friends again it's starting back up. it's gotten more intense lately though, like when we watch movies we basically cuddle and sometimes even hold hands. i'm just always so comfortable with him, and not just comfortable as in not awkward or afraid but physically comfortable too.

the whole thing is that i know i'm not gay, and i'm pretty sure i'm not bi either. but it's just him. i love the way he smells and it makes me like fall asleep lol. and a few days ago he randomly said "i love you" to me and i was smiling for the longest time and i felt like amazingly happy. & he's the only guy i've ever even considered that i might have feelings for. i have plenty of guy friends and it's nothing. which makes me think of something called pansexuality, and it makes me think that i'm not gay or bi, because that says that i have attraction towards the male gender which is not exactly true.

basically, i need reassurance that since it's only one guy who i feel like could pass off as my boyfriend at times, and the rest of the time i'm physically and emotionally attracted to girls, that i'm not gay or bi because of this and it's some other weird teenage sexuality thing.

and even with him it's not a physical attraction. the thing is dumb things like the fact that he's hairy lololol. but i think that's just me, because i wish i was hairy like that!

we've never kissed or gone further than cuddling, but i don't even know what's to come.

HELP?!

(P.S.- I edit the thread based on other comments instead of responding in another comment XD)

[nameless12]

well, first off, are you really really sure you dont like this guy? cuz it sounds a bit like that, but ok. maybe you dont like him and he is just a friend (btw i envy you a bit :P) but maybe HE does like you, have you ever thought about that? and no, your not friends with benefits, you would be friends with benefits if you had a SEXUAL relationship with your friend wich you dont ;)

[RoseyCadaver]

I hate to break your perfect little fantasy bubble,but it seems to me you are gay, or at least bi.All these things you have been talking about are signs of love,or that you have affection for someone.

You probably are bi,if you are also emotionally attracted to girls.This will take some time to take in,it took me about five years.But you shouldn't just restrict yourself to girls if you are showing all these signs towards a guy, experiment,see if you do like him.Don't be afraid to see what you like,who knows,y'all may be just perfect for each other :).

All I'm saying is,you're young.To rule out that you are not gay is just being closed mind.Try this out,talk to him about it.Who knows what could happen!

[paranoid1]

sometimes i think he feels the same about me, and might be wondering the same things.
but the only time we've ever even slightly talked about it was when i was having drama with a friend and couldn't say my real excuse for something because it involved the fact that i wanted him to stay with me because we were like cuddling while watching a movie. it bothered me so much that i couldn't say that to prove my point so i went to him and asked if he understands so he could reassure me. other than that we've never discussed the fact that we do those things.
and even now, i lost a best friend recently, and that person is also his best friend, and i've found myself crying because i'm afraid MY drama with someone else will get between my relationship with him. ); lol
that's the whole thing, i love him more than i've ever loved a friend. i love him as much as i love my own family members.

[sunandmoon]

I was browsing through the forum and saw this post, and its EXACTLY the same problem im having, although mines slightly more extreme and has been going on for just over 3 years now. It was completely normal and jokey before, but once we started arguing we both would be really unhappy until we spoke again, after a while we used to make up by hugging and sometimes did it all night. We both had girlfriend over the past 3 years, which we both got jealous over, to the point where I fell out with him until he dumped her :S.

It is completely crazy because we both have spoke about it and realised its weird, we've joked around and showered together and totally comfortable seeing eachother nude but i dont feel turned on by it or anything. But sometimes when im having "private" time i cant help but think about him sometimes.

I think your either playing it down in your head because you dont want to accept your gay/bi or just both kind of accepted that you've just crossed a line but dont wanna go any further. If your convinced your not gay, or dont want to go down that road, then DO NOT take things any further and just be happy with what you've got. The worst thing i think i could do now is to experitment with him and ruin what we have, unless im prepared to not knock him back should he respond to it all.

You just need to ask yourself what you want from him. Personally i just love the feeling that my mate genuinely loves being around me. The affection is pretty weird when i think about it, but at the same time its not harming anyone and we both know exactly where we stand with eachother. The best thing about a friendship like that is you can be as open as you like with eachother, if hes happy to hug you and stuff then i doubt he'll run a mile if you openly tell him your confused about it all.

Sorry about the grammar etc i kind of gave up on that once i started rambling haha.

[paranoid1]

once we started arguing we both would be really unhappy until we spoke again, after a while we used to make up by hugging

It is completely crazy because we both have spoke about it and realised its weird,

But sometimes when im having "private" time i cant help but think about him sometimes.



these parts are the same way with us!
i think we both know that we'd never go further that what we have now. i'd never kiss him, i'm a prude, and i'd be appalled by the fact that i had my first kiss with a guy. the only thing i might do if given the chance is jack off with him. but, i'm so over that, and i'm not like "i really want to" if it came to it i would but it doesn't matter to me either way.

and anything else is just plain weird to me.

but yeah, sometimes when i'm having..."private" time, lol, i think about my friend too and doing it with him. it's only natural to fantasize though, right? right.

but my friend and i went an entire schoolyear arguing at least 5/7 days a week, until the point where we both felt done with eachother, but through that time i acted happy, and i was happier and worked on myself alot, but deep down i was extremely sad and missed him alot. so i talked it over with him and we ended up being friends again and better than ever.

[Blue63]

Honestly, I think you need to stop trying to label it. Maybe you're bi, maybe your curious, maybe it's just hormones. Those things shouldn't define you. This relationship sounds awesome, focus on that. If you want to pursue something romantic with him, judging by how strongly you feel, well, I think it would be acceptable. If you don't, that's awesome too. If you're unsure, my advice would be just to try and get out of your head a little bit (easier said than done, I know!) Just let what happens happen. Try and be a good friend. If you feel the desire to move further, go for it. If you don't, that's fine too. Don't try and fight your emotions!

Good luck!