JunkBondTrader
November 3rd, 2011, 10:07 AM
Hello, VT. I've been gone a little while, but here I am again.
This isn't a thread about the effects and dangers of the drug itself, of which I'm all too aware, but rather the culture surrounding it. Nor is this a debate about the legality of drugs, just a discussion of the current circumstances.
Basically, I've made some stupid choices in my life, one of which was the desicion to use heroin on a semi-regular basis for a little while. I was lucky enough to never become physically addictive, a miracle considering my personality, but during this period, I did become very ingrained in the local junky culture. I didn't make friends, since, from what I've seen, there are no friends in heroin, (Irvine Welsh couldn't have put it better) but I did make aquaintances.
After a few months of secrecy, the news that I was using slipped out and I found myself under scrutiny. The message from my family was simple: "Stop using or we're not your family anymore. We've been through this once and we're not going to do it for anyone else." I stopped there and then, but somewhere in the back of my mind, heroin was calling me, nagging at me to ring my dealer and pick up some of the dark stuff. But I didn't give in.
So today, I'm walking to the shop only to run into a small time dealer I knew at the end of my street. He said "Do you live round here?" and I stupidly told him that yes, I did. I bought him a beer to be polite and he kindly informed me that my old dealer had had his head bashed in and asked if I'd like to go and score from the very person who'd landed him in hospital. To emphasise my point about there not being any friends in heroin even further, this guy was the self-professed "best mate" of my former dealer.
And, as weak as it makes me sound, the only thing that stopped me from going along with him was the fact that I had precisely nothing in my bank account. The last few quid I had were going to be spent on beers and that was that. It's painful to think that actually, the only reason I didn't become addicted in the first place was because I didn't have the money, and heroin is significantly cheaper here in the UK than in the US (I'll never understand how anyone in America affords a habit).
What I'm asking is, what should I do to avoid these people? As lovely as many of them are, I wouldn't trust them for a second because, as I've just seen, they're constantly trying to take me on a ride towards heroin addiction and I'm through with heroin. It was a massive stupid mistake on my behalf. I'm being pestered so much that it's come to the point where I'm wondering if I should leave London for a while.
Any advice is greatly appreaciated. Sorry for this essay of a post and my appologies if I've broken any rules by discussing this in detail.
This isn't a thread about the effects and dangers of the drug itself, of which I'm all too aware, but rather the culture surrounding it. Nor is this a debate about the legality of drugs, just a discussion of the current circumstances.
Basically, I've made some stupid choices in my life, one of which was the desicion to use heroin on a semi-regular basis for a little while. I was lucky enough to never become physically addictive, a miracle considering my personality, but during this period, I did become very ingrained in the local junky culture. I didn't make friends, since, from what I've seen, there are no friends in heroin, (Irvine Welsh couldn't have put it better) but I did make aquaintances.
After a few months of secrecy, the news that I was using slipped out and I found myself under scrutiny. The message from my family was simple: "Stop using or we're not your family anymore. We've been through this once and we're not going to do it for anyone else." I stopped there and then, but somewhere in the back of my mind, heroin was calling me, nagging at me to ring my dealer and pick up some of the dark stuff. But I didn't give in.
So today, I'm walking to the shop only to run into a small time dealer I knew at the end of my street. He said "Do you live round here?" and I stupidly told him that yes, I did. I bought him a beer to be polite and he kindly informed me that my old dealer had had his head bashed in and asked if I'd like to go and score from the very person who'd landed him in hospital. To emphasise my point about there not being any friends in heroin even further, this guy was the self-professed "best mate" of my former dealer.
And, as weak as it makes me sound, the only thing that stopped me from going along with him was the fact that I had precisely nothing in my bank account. The last few quid I had were going to be spent on beers and that was that. It's painful to think that actually, the only reason I didn't become addicted in the first place was because I didn't have the money, and heroin is significantly cheaper here in the UK than in the US (I'll never understand how anyone in America affords a habit).
What I'm asking is, what should I do to avoid these people? As lovely as many of them are, I wouldn't trust them for a second because, as I've just seen, they're constantly trying to take me on a ride towards heroin addiction and I'm through with heroin. It was a massive stupid mistake on my behalf. I'm being pestered so much that it's come to the point where I'm wondering if I should leave London for a while.
Any advice is greatly appreaciated. Sorry for this essay of a post and my appologies if I've broken any rules by discussing this in detail.