Girlfriend sending me confusing sexual messages... @[email protected]

[paradox]

Ok, the last question I posted was not worded in a way that made sense so im gonna rephrase it:

So here's the deal, my girlfriend and I have been together for around 9 months and there's quite a bit of sexual tension. Sorry to get detailed here, but so far she's let me touch her breasts and ass and she loves to grind when we make-out. Whenever I try to reach for her "sensitive" region she stops me and says she's not interested and it makes me feel bad that I even thought about it.

I find it confusing how she can be so into grinding but not want to go much further. For the record, we are both 17, nearly 18.

Any ideas on what's going on in her head? I mean, I'm not reaching into her pants, I'm still sticking to above clothing so shouldn't it be the same as grinding? Is she nervous? She's fairly sheltered and shy when it comes to talking about sex (it's like taboo to her) so how can I explain that it's normal?

Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks in advance!

[Bob_]

Been there mostly, and based on my past and simple psychology, she's just nervous, and doesn't want to take the risk of it getting out of hand. You can try waiting it out at the rate you're going, or (and I wouldn't recommend this option) convince her that you're ready to move on, but very little steps at a tme. Earn her trust by going slow, step-by-step to make it easy on her and show her that you're not trying to rush it, but it's okay. It all depends on what you feel would help you without hurting her or making something go wrong.

[Swimmer93]

I've been in the same situation as you. It seems to me that girls like the attention and "sexual closeness" , however they dont neccessarily want to dwell into a heavy relationship. You must just give her time. If you truly love her, (big words I know) you should just wait it out. People mature at different rates, may'be she just wants to take it slow. Be glad that she's at least letting you touch her, respect that. And I dont really recommend going too far - last thing you want is to be a father at such a young age! All the best dude!

[mikeywrenn]

You should possibly attempt very minor and subtle advances whilst kissing or hugging (or both.) Personally, however, I'd say not to press it and allow her to come along in her time. Perhaps you could attempt to (excuse if I'm going into too much detail) move your hand into her underwear and gently play with her. It's also possible that she's just looking for some reassurance. Just be considerate, because going through this is probably harder for females than males (I'm a male, so I'm just guessing). Good luck and all.

[botwa]

maybe she's scared because she isn't experienced. she may be shy, not feel comfortable with hands on her sensitive zones, maybe she's afraid she could lose her head. there are lots of variants so I would recommend talking to her.
don't be shy too! it could spoil everything! just ask her and don't be tense. don't seem to be willing to have sex with her, she could think that you would have sex with her and break up. who knows? there could be lots of reasons of such behaviour.
maybe she doesn't want to go too far before marriage???

[paradox]

Thanx for all the advice guys!

@Bob: you're absolutely right... I need to take it a bit slower, I'll talk to her about it a little. I could never find another girl like her, so I can't take any chances. :)

@Swimmer: always good to hear from a fellow fish ;) I think I can wait it out, she's worth it and she'll let me know when she's ready.

@botwa: yeah, that last reason sounds about right but it's hard to tell...