I need help figuring out my sexuality...

[Raxael]

So, one time at a summer camp that took place at a university, I met this guy whom happened to be bi. We were in seperate dorms, but he wanted to spend the night in our dorm because he liked me (as a friend) and didn't like his dorm. So, when we were about to go to bed, he refused to sleep on the floor, so I allowed him to sleep in my bed, as long as he faced the other way. When I woke up, he had turned around, and was a bit closer, and he kept trying to hold my arm. Eventually, after pulling away, I gave in and let him hold it. Eventually, it went a bit... further... but nothing sexual.

So, towards the end of camp, I started thinking that I shouldn't be doing that, as it wasn't me. I denied any hugs from him, and the only hug I gave him was to make him happy. Anywho, I dont know what my sexuality really is... Straight or bi? In the past, I have only liked girls.

I like to think of what happened as me being curious, but I rather have other's opinions.


tl;dr I dont know what my sexuality is after having a "affair" that I regret. Not that I have anything against gay/bi people.

[Sosaku]

...one experience, and you doubt yourself? Not to sound rude, but do you really NOT know who you are!?!?!?! You are you, You are not your past, You are not your present, You are not your future! If you didn't want it to happen, ok then...that's it, don't doubt yourself! You should know who you are, yes, you'll doubt sometimes, but after ONE experience that happened to be different?

So, I'm guessing if you ONLY eat a Salad, with no meat on it, you'll wonder if you're vegetarian? That isn't how life works, stop worrying about it, and just continue on with your life....

and no, i will not tell you what your sexuality is, and if people are like, "You're probably just curious, or you're just a horny teenager" don't believe them, that is generalizing you, and that isn't right!

[Raxael]

...one experience, and you doubt yourself? Not to sound rude, but do you really NOT know who you are!?!?!?! You are you, You are not your past, You are not your present, You are not your future! If you didn't want it to happen, ok then...that's it, don't doubt yourself! You should know who you are, yes, you'll doubt sometimes, but after ONE experience that happened to be different?

So, I'm guessing if you ONLY eat a Salad, with no meat on it, you'll wonder if you're vegetarian? That isn't how life works, stop worrying about it, and just continue on with your life....

and no, i will not tell you what your sexuality is, and if people are like, "You're probably just curious, or you're just a horny teenager" don't believe them, that is generalizing you, and that isn't right!

Thats the thing. I don't even know if i liked it or not... And I have had other gay thoughts.

[Sosaku]

Thats the thing. I don't even know if i liked it or not... And I have had other gay thoughts.

Thoughts, don't worry about your thoughts, were they like, I wonder what he looks like naked? blah blah blah? Your mind will wonder, (I'm not calling you stupid...) It may feel under used...so the empty parts of your mind find something to cling to...Most artists will tell you they didn't think about the perfect angle, they looked at a blank canvas, and painted what they felt was right...yes there WAS some thinking involved, however if an artist tells you they "THOUGHT" about what to draw, most likely they are lying to you.

Thinking is what makes us human, animals have instincts which "think" for them, however, animals know their sexuality, so "think" of yourself as your favorite animal, sit down, cross your legs, stretch a little, then look at the first thing that catches your eye, and then just let yourself feel as to what you would like to do...or go to my thread "Your Sexuality" that is another way it can help you...

THinking doesn't help somethign that is determined by self identity....

[LGCALI]

Thats the thing. I don't even know if i liked it or not... And I have had other gay thoughts.

Dude, I agree with Sosaku...you're well aware of your thought and your actions on those thoughts. I get the impression that you didnt lay it all out here, and you didn't tell your age, but "having other gay THOUGHTS" is way different than acting on those thoughts. I can't even be sure that your definition of a "gay thought" is "accurate". For instance a 13 year old who notices his buddy's boner and got a chubby might run screaming into the night cause he's had this "gay thought.". Of course he isn't old or experienced enough to know that for approx the next ten years he'll be capable of raising serious wood just cause the wind blows. Relax bro.

[Sterling26]

u sound straight, i dont really get why ur questioning wat happened

[Raxael]

Dude, I agree with Sosaku...you're well aware of your thought and your actions on those thoughts. I get the impression that you didnt lay it all out here, and you didn't tell your age, but "having other gay THOUGHTS" is way different than acting on those thoughts. I can't even be sure that your definition of a "gay thought" is "accurate". For instance a 13 year old who notices his buddy's boner and got a chubby might run screaming into the night cause he's had this "gay thought.". Of course he isn't old or experienced enough to know that for approx the next ten years he'll be capable of raising serious wood just cause the wind blows. Relax bro.

Why do people always think of 13 yearolds as 7 yearolds?

[Raxael]

u sound straight, i dont really get why ur questioning wat happened

I guess. I question everything, and I can never come out with an answer that I accept, so I look for other's opinions.

[nameless12]

why should it matter what you are or what you are not?, even if you ask people if you are bi, straight or gay, the only person who can tell you that is yourself. like sosaku sayd, so what if you have "thoughts"?, just because you have this gay thoughts, dosent mean that you are gay, i know lots of straight guys who have them sometimes, you shouldnt worry about it ;).

[Abyssinian]

I think you're predominantly straight. But if you could ever imagine yourself holding hands with a guy, snuggling, kissing or anything else like that, especially if you have an emotional connection with the person, without feeling completely wrong, then you could be bi.

I've personally enjoyed looking at attractive females my whole life, but I never counted myself as bi until I met a girl I could honestly see myself being in a relationship with and sleeping with. That's how I view it =)

Are you curious about doing anything else with another guy to see if you enjoy it, or does that idea just repulse you a little?

[blackpo]

If to you this is that life changing experience and you are completely doubting yourself wait it will be revealed later

Just because you share a bed with someone and you two touch doesn't mean you are gay or bi or experimenting it is just being "nice" so no one has to sleep on the floor