things dont get better

[morbidmonkey]

its been a while since i've posted..... i didnt really feel the need to, but now i just need some way to share whatever's in my mind. I've been cutting everyday for the past 3 days. It's never been this bad. One minute i feel so fucking numb.... then i feel so full of emotion. Mom said i could trust her, now i dont really care about her. She clarified that i'm just the weird one in this broken thing we call a family. She said she was gonna send me to a therapist.... Se never keeps her promises, i dont even know why i thought i would actually get help. She told me whenever i feel sad or anything, to go talk to her.... There's no way in hell i can talk to her now. So here i am, typing with blood dripping from my wrist.....

[Amaryllis]

Things don't get better. I think that's a dumb lie people use to bullshit you into believing. No one can promise you "true friends", helpful psychologists, gifts, a happy family. Maybe you will have all that. Maybe you won't.

The world doesn't change. You do. You learn to cope. You learn that life gets worse, so you might as well be happy with what you have right now. You learn to bite your lip w d get through another day. You mature. You learn that what may seem like the end of the world now, may not be tomorrow.

You live because there is always a chance that you will find something or someone worth living for. Perhaps you will find more than one. Live because this is the only chance you're ever going to get. You have this life to do whatever and be whoever you want to be.

Contrary to what you may think, therapists won't miraculously fix everything. I begged my mum to take me to a psychologist two years ago. She didn't. Maybe had she done so, I wouldn't had had to go through my eating disorders. Maybe not, though.

I've seen about 7 professionals. They're all pretty useless for me. Of course, there is a chance yours may help. It takes time. I'm horrible with forming attachments.

You're a teenager, sweetheart. Treasure it. You have so much right now. Things and people you do not see. You can be whoever you wanna be. Your blade is not you. There's more to you than a girl in pain.

You can't change the world. But you can change yourself.

[morbidmonkey]

When i said "things dont get better" i meant my cutting is getting worse at the moment. Trust me, i'm thankful for what i have, because people may have it worse than me, so i know there's perfect life. You probably think i'm some stupid teenager that knows nothing about life... It may be true that i dont know some things, but i do know this world isnt going to change. -_- i'm done trying to speak my feelings

[Amaryllis]

Sweetheart, I don't think you're some silly teenager. This is Faith here. Forget that anyone else may have a "worse" life. What anyone else goes through or feels has nothing to do with you. Your pain is legimate, your feelings are yours.

Cutting is something that takes time and effort to recover from. You will take some steps back every now and then, but it doesn't mean you've failed or that you'll never recover. You need to keep going. You'll get there some day.

[XxfakexX]

Things will get better. Your just going through a bad moment. Like right now iv cut everyday for the past couple of weeks (im running out of room) but not lost hope. Oh and trust me, your not just a stupid little teenager. I promise :)

[XxfakexX]

Things will get better. Your just going through a bad moment. Like right now iv cut everyday for the past couple of weeks (im running out of room) but not lost hope. Oh and trust me, your not just a stupid teenager. I promise :)