Shy

[Maau]

Hey guys and gals!

I've taken an extended break from the forums and now I'm back. Before i left I took the advice people gave me about that girl, and to this day she hasn't responded.

Anyways, right to the point. I sort have got into a "shy corner" as I call it. I feel REALLY nervous about talking to people and what not. Today this girl asked to see my phone, and put her number in it. I like this girl. However, as the title suggests, I am too shy to say anything! I just re-read the tips sticky, but I just cant bring my self to say anything!

The main thing stopping me is that shes popular, and I can't tell if she likes me. This guy and her always mess around. So, what I'm asking anyone who can help is, what should I do? How can I tell if she likes me, or just wants to be friends?

[AlexTorkin]

You just have to talk to her. I realize how hard that can be, but take it slow. Start talking about things you know you have in common, such as classes or extracurricular activities. After that, start getting more personal.

[Bob_]

As Alex said; talk to her. Sorry for the languare, but as I would say, "Balls it out", meaning that you have to take a risk reguardless of the possible outcomes. I get how hard it is, because I'm honestly in almost the same situation, and I'm not having the easiest time. But I live with carpe' diem in mind, know any day could be your last. So why not just take the risk? =)

[Abyssinian]

What they said! ^

Think about what you want to say, take a couple of deep breaths and JUST SAY IT, force them words out!

You'll find if you force yourself into situations like that, it will become easier with time, any time this kinda thing happens in the future.

I still have a shyness that makes it really uncomfortable for me to talk to anyone, but I work in a supermarket and I HAVE to talk to people. I eventually realised that it never hurt me to just speak up, and now I talk to everyone! It still makes me feel awkward and scared but the pros outweigh the cons in this situation one hundredfold!

Work at it a little and you'll get there =)

[Abyssinian]

Double post! Whoops! My internet did it just to mess with me....

[Maau]

Hello, Thanks for the tips. I think I'm just gonna say this tomorrow. "What kinda of movies are you into? (insert movie here) Yeah? You should come see it with me this weekend."

EDIT: Also, should i ask her while shes alone, or during class?

[Bob_]

Just be simpler, like, "Hey, Are you a movie fan? Cuz I'm going to a movie this weekend, and I thought you might wanna come along with me. It should be pretty fun."

Edit: When to do it? Probably when not a whole lot of people are around, mostly just her and your friends. Make sure to stay calm, too. Just chill and let it happen.

[paradox]

If you want to change something about yourself there are a couple ways of doing it. In your case, it's just bringing out your inner personality that you have trouble with. I recommend self-hypnosis or some form of meditation. What this does is it fills your mind with positive images of how to become more outgoing (repeat in your head something like "I am becoming a more confident person" and "I release the need to conceal my personality."). I know this seems kind of strange and maybe a little stupid at first but seriously, look up the proper technique for self-hypnosis and try it.

I used to e the same way, I thought of myself as a reclusive loser who girls just would never understand, I didn't even think I was very attractive or anything. I was determined to change myself so I could be more comfortable in my own skin, so to speak. If you want to get ANY girl's attention, you've gotta be confident. Now I am still a little shy but definitely a lot better off than a few years ago. I've got a girlfriend too and we've been going out for 9 months.

Everyone's got their pros and cons: so only think about your pros, ignore the cons, and put yourself out there more. If you want something, you've gotta work for it, nothing in life comes easy!

PS-sorry for the long rant... That would be one of my cons XD

EDIT: as for finding out if she's into you or not, you just gotta go for it. You're heading in the right direction with the whole casually asking her to the movies thing (worked for me, lol). Just don't make a big deal about it if she says no, just roll with the punches, keep your composure, and move on. Shrug your shoulders and say something like "OK, see you around then!" and casually walk away, smiling and waving before you do. You can't fear rejection, if it doesn't work out just learn from it for next time. Hope this helps! ;)

[Bob_]

Self-hypnosis? Here's something a lot simpler if that's too odd (which I think it is, lol). Just ask yoursef, "If I'm gone tomorrow, will I regret today?"

[Maau]

So, I decided to wait to ask her out, on account of me being afraid :(.

The ladies ask guys dance just went by, and she didn't even seem to want to ask me. I've gotten very sad, but she said she went as "just friends with the guy." I don't think i got a chance anymore...

I'm getting very depressed from this whole dating thing, The few girls who talk to me rarely do, and even then I think i'll always be in the friend zone with them. I just want to have fun,and try new things, you know?

[Solvez18]

then move on, look for someone else. if ur sure theres no chance and uve tried. then ya got no choice.