Nexus
November 1st, 2011, 02:49 AM
Simply put, things are shit at the moment.
Where do I start...
I just started university in September and so far my academic performance has been so poor that I don't even want to discuss it with my family, on any level. Not only am I reluctant to bring it up, I avoid it at all costs. Every time the topic comes up, and believe me, it happens quite often, I change the subject. This, more often than not, causes my meddling relatives to speculate that I don't really want to be in school and I'm merely wasting my Mother's money for my own gain. Does that even make sense?
I'm depressed for a variety of reasons. One being that somebody that I fell madly in love with has been progressively losing interest in our relationship. After making every attempt imaginable to rekindle things between us, sometimes even achieving moderate success in that regard, things fall to shit again. I've been made such a low priority and even though that's perfectly clear to me now, I refuse to accept it. I've always said that one can either accept the hurt that comes with the truth, or they can prolong the inevitable by remaining in denial. It seems I've chosen the latter.
I've been putting forth the bare minimum in all other aspects of life as a result of my failed relationship. It's all that matters to me. It's stupid. It's irrational and ultimately it's going to be my undoing, but I don't care. What should I do? Why am I so helpless?
Where do I start...
I just started university in September and so far my academic performance has been so poor that I don't even want to discuss it with my family, on any level. Not only am I reluctant to bring it up, I avoid it at all costs. Every time the topic comes up, and believe me, it happens quite often, I change the subject. This, more often than not, causes my meddling relatives to speculate that I don't really want to be in school and I'm merely wasting my Mother's money for my own gain. Does that even make sense?
I'm depressed for a variety of reasons. One being that somebody that I fell madly in love with has been progressively losing interest in our relationship. After making every attempt imaginable to rekindle things between us, sometimes even achieving moderate success in that regard, things fall to shit again. I've been made such a low priority and even though that's perfectly clear to me now, I refuse to accept it. I've always said that one can either accept the hurt that comes with the truth, or they can prolong the inevitable by remaining in denial. It seems I've chosen the latter.
I've been putting forth the bare minimum in all other aspects of life as a result of my failed relationship. It's all that matters to me. It's stupid. It's irrational and ultimately it's going to be my undoing, but I don't care. What should I do? Why am I so helpless?