Noobzilla
October 30th, 2011, 04:26 PM
Recently ive felt like I have no friends, at all. Basically theres a few people in my life that I talk to occassionally that I actually consider friends, but they are all fairly distance its merely a small chat there and then at school. There are alot of people that say hello, and are generally friendly to me but we arnt really friends.
When I was 8 I was put in a foster home for 2 years because of false claims on my mother, i was only meant to be there for about 6 weeks. So my father, being sick of what was happening moved me to where he lived (about 200 miles away). As you can imagine I lost everything. I was constantly depressed and always under the intent that id be going back home, I was in primary 4 and well no one really wanted to approach someone so depressed. So basically ive been like that for 3 years of high school and im now in my fifth. I feel like im in the position where everyone already.. has their friends. I used to hang out with a group of people from my primary school, at brake and lunch. two of those people are the ones i consider "friends" today, but some others began to show hostility to me in a way, almost hinting they didnt want me around and i was oblivious to this. Then one day they tell me to fuck off. Its happened twice both groups of my friends friends. ever since Ive never bothered to try and hang out with people, it just hurts so much that people can be so nice, and friendly and grow hatred over time.
There are alot of people that I could be friends with but dont want to be, like I dont share interests with them. I want to have a close friend, someone i can see out of school, someone to confide in someone to go places with.
How can I have friends or develope friendships with acquaintances in a world I feel I dont belong. Im finding it difficulty to explain what I feel, I dont know if anyone knows what I mean. Really I just have low self esteem right now
When I was 8 I was put in a foster home for 2 years because of false claims on my mother, i was only meant to be there for about 6 weeks. So my father, being sick of what was happening moved me to where he lived (about 200 miles away). As you can imagine I lost everything. I was constantly depressed and always under the intent that id be going back home, I was in primary 4 and well no one really wanted to approach someone so depressed. So basically ive been like that for 3 years of high school and im now in my fifth. I feel like im in the position where everyone already.. has their friends. I used to hang out with a group of people from my primary school, at brake and lunch. two of those people are the ones i consider "friends" today, but some others began to show hostility to me in a way, almost hinting they didnt want me around and i was oblivious to this. Then one day they tell me to fuck off. Its happened twice both groups of my friends friends. ever since Ive never bothered to try and hang out with people, it just hurts so much that people can be so nice, and friendly and grow hatred over time.
There are alot of people that I could be friends with but dont want to be, like I dont share interests with them. I want to have a close friend, someone i can see out of school, someone to confide in someone to go places with.
How can I have friends or develope friendships with acquaintances in a world I feel I dont belong. Im finding it difficulty to explain what I feel, I dont know if anyone knows what I mean. Really I just have low self esteem right now