abuse or not abuse?? sorry its most likely long

[dreamer18xx]

I'm not really so sure about this my parents do love me and I love them too but they had a pretty tough life I know for sure my mom grew up with domistic violence in her house constantly moving houses trying to get away from her dad she had it pretty tough were she had to walk home from kindergarden by herself crossing highways so I kinda understand why now that shes older she flips out for no reason...but it still scares me. Its like walking on egg shells you never know when its going to crack somtimes somthing wont be perfect or the way she wants it to be and she'll start yelling like crazy she starts singing/screaming while slamming draws and pots and pans or she'll start talking to herself about how horriable we (her kids) are while where in the other room but we can clearly hear her dont get me wrong I love my mom...its just hard to let your gaurd down all the way when shes like that because I know if i do the the mom I was having fun with two seconds ago and laughing with will change and somthing wont be perfect again. Im not the type of kid who grew up in a shed or anything I have a house (which is a plus) and I go on family vacations and my family seems normal and and we are alot of the time but i just remember certain things now that dont seem so normal like the fact that when me and my older sister were younger we had bunk beds she was on the top and I was on the bottom I was 5 and when we used to go to sleep somtimes we would talk (not loud or anything) but everytime my mom would come in with the spatula and hit our bottoms and backs it didnt hurt that bad but it did when my dad used to do it so everynight I would get scared and instead of sleeping on the bottom bunk I would ask my sister if I could sleep up top with her. I also remember my mom putting us outside when she had to clean the house and she wouldnt let us in when we needed to use the bathroom so we would go outside. somtimes we (me and my older sister) took walks around the block by ourselfs I was 6 she was 8 until we got in trouble for it. When I said a word I didnt even know was bad my dad put dish soap in my mouth. When my younger sister came in my room one day holding behind her back a pair of scissors and I asked her what she was hidding she didnt answer she only cut my finger with it which was really gross like half of my nail was missing and all my parents did was calmly tell her that it was wrong she didnt even get a time out or anything even when she would call me names like idiot, stupid, brat, etc. and her favorite saying she got from my mom was that "I didnt like her b/c I was jelous she was pretty and I wasnt" I love my little sister alot....but the things she said would hurt. Needless to say when I went to elementary school I thought bullies where actally my friends I got pushed around litererally one time falling over a backpack and landing on my back another time off a slide. when I was in 4th grade me and my older sister where talking about were we wanted to be in life while my dad was asleep and he got angry at us we heard him run down the hallway so we hid under the covers but he pulled them off and without saying anything he ripped me out of the bed by the hair I was screaming my mom was yelling at him to stop my sister was crying and I was getting pulled down the hallway and shoved into my room my dad only said if I talked again I would get it and slammed the door on me. My mom still calls me names but I think the worst time was when I was diagnoised with ADD my mom had no patience for it she would yell at me and talk in sarcastic babying tones saying a was retarted or a a** telling me to never have kids since they ruin your life and alot of other things. She would also yell at me and brush my hair harder if I started crying saying I was being a baby even though sometimes my neck was red by the time she was done. I know my parents love me and I love my parents but im starting to think that some of things that happened where abusive espicially since im starting to realize the way I acted at school wasnt exactly "normal". I tied to run away from home alot, I would cry whenever teachers tried to talk to me because i thought i was in trouble and they would tell my parents, i had really bad anxiety where i would shake, I had a hard time paying attention and I dont think it was b/c ADD since I dont have that now and the drugs they gave me for it had really bad effects. Also when I went to school I remember crying b/c of somthing my mom said i dont remember what it was for but I guess my face was red?? so my teacher asked me if i was doing okay and then gave me somthing to eat from her lunch even when i said no thanks she told me it was okay that she would leave it on my desk anyway and that I could take the test another day which i thought was nice. But one day in 5th grade after a parent teacher conference my mom seemed angry at me when i asked how it went and if she liked my teacher she just yelled at me saying I needed to act more normal b/c that I acted like I lived in a closet my whole life?? which made me feel sad b/c I wanted to be normal

[logan fields]

hi kristi

im only 13 so i dont know much about laws and stuff like that but omg that sounds like abuse to me and i am so sorry you had to go through all that because no kid should have to go through that stuff. i have no way of making you feel better but if you need a friend kristi i am here for you ok. i think all parents lose it sumtimes and do stuff they wish they didnt and that includes my parents but some of the things that you wrote about i could never imagine any parent doing to there children and i think its terrible.
parents are supposed to love there kids and treat them good and anyways im glad you were able to get that out and share it with us but idk i wish i could give you a hug because i think you need one.

[dreamer18xx]

Aw thanks but I just want to let you know that its not that bad or anything like I know people have been through loads loads worse which is unfortunate but I'm okay. and also if anything I think u need a hug I read your thread before about those people bullying you I'm really sorry that some people are so mean but don't let them get to you or anything I know all the things they say hurt and most of its just plain annoying but I don't think you should fight them since it just eggs them on more when they know it bothers you the best thing to do is just ignore them and act happy like you could care less about what they say just brush it off you shoulder like what they say is nothing. As for you not saying yes to that girl why does it matter to them that you weren't ready if you weren't ready you werent and I think that's awesome that your not like those jerks that go out with a girl so they can look "cool" which is gross. Also not knowing if your gay or not is honestly not that big of a deal I went through the same thing I wasn't really interested in either sex for a while like when my friends used to say a guy was hot I didn't see why he was which is kinda strange I guess?? But Then I started being more interested in guys later on in high school. Most likely the guys at your school are just jelous Of you because your cute and girls like you so just forgot about them they're being a*** just keep having fun with your friends like nothings the matter and I'm sorry If this dosent help you much but I just hope it all works out for you :) *huggss*

[iLoveCookies]

It seems like emotional abuse to me.. these stuck out to me the most:
which made me feel sad b/c I wanted to be normal
It has effected(affected?...) you a lot is what I can see.. not to be a therapist but I think you should go talk to a counselor or something because this seems like it sucks.
telling me to never have kids since they ruin your life and alot of other things.
your mom seems like a real piece of work. i'm sorry for what's happened. hope you can get through it;)

[dreamer18xx]

thanks for your answer but I'm really not so sure...like when I think of emotional abuse I think of parents saying really really harsh things all the time like I wish you where never born, or just kill yourself already like really mean things and I usually think they do it all the time like my mom and dad do say mean things and call me names like an a** useless,creepy etc. And they do yell at me for no reason like the time I was 13 and me and mom got into a car acciedent she started freaking out Saying my older sister would never let it happen and that I was freak*** retarded and other things for not watching the road because I was texting meanwhile I wasn't the one driving (thank god for that) or she just says stupid things like recentally I'm painting my room purple and while we where talking about how I didn't like this color she picked she seemed angry and just told me I could pick whatever I wanted then she started laughing saying " I don't want you to starve yourself for six months b/c you don't get the color you want" meanwhile she knows I'm getting over depression and I did lose my appetite last summer b/c of it and then when I told her I liked the darker purple she got all sarcastic and said "because it's dark like your soul" like I'm just stating opinions here you don't have to act immature b/c I don't like the same color as you *huff* but anways the thing is when I think of emotional abuse I think of parents that don't actually like there kids even though my mom goes kinda nuts sometimes she tells me she loves me and she only flips out a couple of times a week so not always and sometimes she says sorry also? Which confuses me to no end

[iLoveCookies]

thanks for your answer but I'm really not so sure...like when I think of emotional abuse I think of parents saying really really harsh things all the time like I wish you where never born, or just kill yourself already like really mean things and I usually think they do it all the time like my mom and dad do say mean things and call me names like an a** useless,creepy etc. And they do yell at me for no reason like the time I was 13 and me and mom got into a car acciedent she started freaking out Saying my older sister would never let it happen and that I was freak*** retarded and other things for not watching the road because I was texting meanwhile I wasn't the one driving (thank god for that) or she just says stupid things like recentally I'm painting my room purple and while we where talking about how I didn't like this color she picked she seemed angry and just told me I could pick whatever I wanted then she started laughing saying " I don't want you to starve yourself for six months b/c you don't get the color you want" meanwhile she knows I'm getting over depression and I did lose my appetite last summer b/c of it and then when I told her I liked the darker purple she got all sarcastic and said "because it's dark like your soul" like I'm just stating opinions here you don't have to act immature b/c I don't like the same color as you *huff* but anways the thing is when I think of emotional abuse I think of parents that don't actually like there kids even though my mom goes kinda nuts sometimes she tells me she loves me and she only flips out a couple of times a week so not always and sometimes she says sorry also? Which confuses me to no end

your mom has legit problems, sorry to say. considering she's the one that was driving, why the hell would it matter that you were texting...? she's delusional and psychotic IMO.... she seems like she's hiding from her own personal problems and she's causing you to have more than you should.

[dreamer18xx]

Ya ik.... As much as it hurts to say my mom does get a little crazy sometimes..but she's been through alot in her life so I don't blame her for lashing out at me alot although sometimes it scares me alot like if where in the car and she's upset with me she speeds/ and our blasts the music to the point were it hurts my ears or if she's cleaning you absololoutly cannot and I mean cannot be sitting around because then she freaks out saying that your lazy or talks to herself so we can hear saying that were horriable or "good for nothing" and a bunch of curses and other mean names and she starts slamming draws and singing/screaming that's when she scares me the most when I was younger I used to go in my room shut my door and hide uderneath my bed with a giant blanket on top of me while I tried to cover my ears but it never really worked out because you could still hear her and one thing my dad said to me that makes me pretty sad was when I was "depressed" and practically having an anxiety attack shaking and crying he told me that I shouldn't be that sad because "look at what your mother went through in life" there's nothing the matter with yours then he said somthing pretty messed up (And I'm sorry if it offends anyone at all cause I know it hurt me) but he started Saying cancer patients where more happier than I was "that I could only be that sad if I was in the hospital dying of cancer" which kinda made me want to die I can't cry at all because my parents lifes were really bad therefor mine is perfect and the only time I can be sad is if I'm in a hospital dying apperently

[Slytherin_Prince]

I believe, no matter how harsh parents may be, they will always love their children.
Still, your story is troubling indeed.
For your mother to treat you like that, no matter what experiences she has had in the past, is wrong.
Always keep in mind that your parents love you, and don't let those remarks get to you, no matter what.
Also, having had....let's just call them family issues myself, I can see where you're coming from.
As for your mention of cancer patient, having cancer is horrible, yes, but it's a very different kind of problem, so it isn't comparable to you.
Why they make such a comparison is truly beyond me.

All I could recommend is family counselling, though I am not sure what that will accomplish.
All I can promise you is that when the going does get tough, we will be here to support you.

Most sincerely,
Robert.

[dreamer18xx]

Thanks for answering and sorry again that all my post so far have ended up being long im usually really shy so i think whenever i write it ends up being a novel lol but thanks everyone for being able to put up with it and as for the family therapy I tried to ask my mom a couple of times already but she always laughs or says she doesnt need it she thinks the idea of going to therapy is ridiculous which is a shame since i think it might be of a little help to her but thats just her choice I guess.