Do I even deserve the title of eating disordered?

[BrokenButterflies]

It's a vary long story, but for maybe the last...4ish years I had an eating "problem". I call it a problem because I don't really fit the criteria for anorexia, I'm of an average weight, I havn't lost my period etc.
I'm scared of food. I feel like if I even look at it I'm going to gain all of my weight back, and the idea makes me panic.
So I know, there's EDNOS, and I would think I had it...except, I like to eat :( I love mmy meal times, not that I eat much. And I eat foods that are...well...good? like pudding and whiped cream, just very little of it.
I see the girls on TV with eating disorders, and the girls I met in the hospital, and all of them...they couldn't eat, ANYTHING! I feel so selfish and self centered saying I "suffer" from an eating disorder when I look at them. I'm not sick enought to get help :(
Idk, I suppose I'm just venting...what's the internet for right? :-/

[Amaryllis]

Wanna know a secret.

I'm absolutely in love with food.

I have been since my eating disorders. I still am. In fact, I loved food the most when my eating disorders were the predominant thing in my life. I loved it. I savoured every bite, treasured every piece of food I digested. My favourite past time was watching the food channel and reading recipe books. I would cook elaborate meals and eat only a bit. I loved food though. I was just afraid of the calories.

After I ate and during, I'd feel so guilty. I'd run for hours, non-stop, at an end. I wanted to eat, so badly. But I was so afraid of the consequences. Even during recovery, when I -knew- I looked terrible. I could see my ribs, the bones in my bum, my neck, the ones in my hands. God, it was terrible. I wanted to recover. Yet I was so afraid.

I had orthorexia so... I did eat. More than what most just-anorexia sufferers do. I just measure every calorie. I would count the calories in 1/8 of a cucumber. I would feel guilty because I had a carrot. My exercising disorder killed me, as well. I was basically a walking ball of misery. I never let myself sit.

To this day, I still make myself stand for hours and hours.

It doesn't matter to what extent your eating disorder is. You're suffering. Forget that anyone else may be "worse." This isn't a competition. You don't need to compare. Stop telling yourself you don't deserve to feel this way or say you're suffering. Your pain is yours. Your struggle with your eating disorder is your battle, no one else's, and you have to win.

[FuzzyLittleNightmare]

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I would say you do have an eating disorder.
An eating disorder is one of those things that cannot be judged in black and white. Think of it like music; there are probably some songs that you completely love and mean a lot to you that your friends don't like or at least don't get the same meaning you do, it's all about interpretation.

An eating disorder is exactly what it says, a problem with eating. This can be over eating, under eating, bulemia, anorexia... If you don't follow a normal pattern of meals, struggle to convince yourself to eat (or stop eating), or perhaps feel a voice telling you what to do when you're trying to eat then I would say you have an eating disorder and the doctors should be providing you with help. Yes, perhaps there are people "worse" or "more at risk" that you but it doesn't mean that you are not suffering.

I personally have anorexia but the doctors don't do anything about it because I have a high muscle weight from dance and weight training for years and years so despite being really boney the doctors weigh me and think its not that bad so ignore it. But I know I am bad because it is really affecting me. If yours is affecting you then you hae a problem and need to press for help for it. Don't feel guilty about it.

[Fiction]

I don't think enjoying food has anything to do with an eating disorder. I mean, who doesn't enjoy the taste of food?

It's an eating disorder, as has already been said, when it's effecting your life. With your intense fear of gaining weight it sounds like it is, and therefore I would classify it as an eating disorder.