being called gay

[logan fields]

ok im going to be honest and hope that nobody will make fun of me but everybody just tells me to be me and well im not to good at that right now because everytime i try to be me i get bullied real bad and they call me gay.

i dont know if i am gay or not and i dont want to be but just because i dont play sports and i dont like to fight and because i dont have a girlfriend kids at my school and around here call me gay and make fun of me all the time and it gets so depressing. i would never like kill myself but i do understand why some kids that are bullied do because its not fun and its a very mean thing to do and i dont ever hurt anyone.

even if i am gay someday how would i ever live with that because if they already hate me and i dont even know yet then they would really hate me then and i just want it all to stop.

[Dimitri]

ok im going to be honest and hope that nobody will make fun of me but everybody just tells me to be me and well im not to good at that right now because everytime i try to be me i get bullied real bad and they call me gay.

i dont know if i am gay or not and i dont want to be but just because i dont play sports and i dont like to fight and because i dont have a girlfriend kids at my school and around here call me gay and make fun of me all the time and it gets so depressing. i would never like kill myself but i do understand why some kids that are bullied do because its not fun and its a very mean thing to do and i dont ever hurt anyone.

even if i am gay someday how would i ever live with that because if they already hate me and i dont even know yet then they would really hate me then and i just want it all to stop.

Hey bud, lemme tell you something, it doesn't matter what they think of you because in the end it is only your thoughts that really matter. I went through middle and high school with only about three girlfriends the entire seven years, I played sports (so I could get out of gym class) but my place was the drama department.

I know you just want everything to stop, you will sit in the corner of you room and cry yourself to sleep at night sometimes and even cut (that is how I dealt and I would NOT RECOMMEND IT.)

I am the type of person and I assume you are too who wants to please everyone, you want to make a lasting impression but you have a slightly hard time expressing yourself because you are afraid of what others will say.

I am sorry but you need to either get over it and realize that the only reasons people pick on eachother is because they are not comfortable with themselves and they think that by acting out, against someone else and causing them pain that it will make the bigger and better than they really are but they do not realize that they are just filling themselves with a false sense of hope.

Like I said, you can do a few things here. You can either set back and take it, not expecting anything to really change except the bullies might find someone else to bully. You could just give up and let them beat you up your whole life (I wouldn't suggest that option.) Or you could just let them have their fun and when they realize that they do not effect you anymore they will go away.

As for the being gay thing, you could be or you might not be, that is entirly up to you bud. Only you can make that decision. The most you can do is sit back and wait for them to get their just desserts.

If you ever need anything lemme know, I am here and always willing to talk bud. Hang in there, I know you can do it.

P.S ~ Just think how much stronger this will make you....you can be a great asset to anyone else who is going through this

[Hyper]

You are 13.. You are surrounded by idiots name calling is to be expected. Wether you are gay or not doesn't matter.

Kids get bullied for a ton of reasons none of them really have any basis and rarely is it the victims fault granted there are many things kids do that draw the fire upon themselves... In basic form anyone that stands out in life is either a leader or nailed down to the ground.

I don't know what you want well I can presume what you want being a teenager.. But you shouldn't try to be different if you truly don't like something about yourself then change it but don't try to change yourself because someone called you ''gay''.

[TrevorTime]

Dayum Logan, that is one messed up situation. Is there any way you can make a friend who is a bit older than you are? Maybe someone who could watch your back? If I was in SC, no one would be picking on you, that's for sure. I freakin' hate bullies and I have never picked on anyone smaller than me.

And it drives me crazy when kids use the word "gay" to put other kids down. If only they knew what it's like to really be gay, then maybe they would shut their mouths.

Logan, your best bet is to act all macho around these idiots. Swear a little, burp and fart, and go against every gay stereotype there is. Eventually they will move on and start to bother the femmy kid (and every school has one, I'm sure).

And whatever you do Logan, don't cut yourself or do something else stupid like that. Self harm is never the answer.

[BOSS]

Me and you need to be friends. I've had to put up with this for years. I too gone through this. And just like you it was because I didn't play sports, for a time didn't have a gf, never punched a person in my life and plus my brother is a loud and proud fag so that doesn't help much. The best thing to do is to just ignore them. If you let them know that it bothers you it's only gonna get worse. Hope this helps. And always know that you aint the only one.

[kuuliluuk]

That makes me sad. When I read postings like that I feel like I am the one who is bullied. And I can't help much.
Logan, you need friends. real life friends at school. We here on VT can make you feel better only when you are sitting behind your computer.
I agree, that you should try for bullies not to give any reason for the next gay joke. Just stick to your friends and try to avoid to meet these people. Asking help from teachers and parents and counsellors wouldn't help either as they would not stay beside you all day long. Doesn't solve the problem. Only real thing that could help you is to learn some fighting. I know that there is one fighting philosophy from china that is completely defensive. It teaches to use forces meant to hit you against offender itself. That could make them feel helpless and boost your selfesteem.

[TrevorTime]

Just a follow up, Logan, I know exactly what you are going through. When I was 13 I realized that I was gay and I tried to deny it, tried to wish it would go away. Of course that didn't work, so I just gave up "the fight" and accepted it, which made me feel so much better about myself.

Luckily I didn't get hassled, because no one had a clue that I was gay. I played sports and swore like a Marine. LOL, if only the haters knew how I really was.

Be strong Logan, you're a good looking guy and you have a lot to offer this world. One day at a time is the best way to work through a crap situation.

[Foamy]

Its bitches like them that make me sick. Stand up for yourself. Ur confused about your sexuality—thats fine. People making fun of you for something you might not be—not ok. Telling an adult doesn't hurt. A guidance counselor or teacher at school could stop this. so don't hold your feelings in, and don't try to handle this yourself unless you know you could do something about it.

[logan fields]

i just want to say thanks to everyone who wrote something in here because i dont know if you realize it but just being kind and nice like that does make people feel better inside and it made me feel better. i know i should fight but if i fight i get in trouble and if i dont fight i get in trouble so i just try to keep to myself or hang with friends that dont act like the bullies.

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.

[Dimitri]

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.
Why do they care, because someone always feels that they have to put their two, worthless cents in because they think their opinion matters. Well it doesn't. I am glad that you enjoy being here, it is a great place, isn't it?

[Amaryllis]

i just want to say thanks to everyone who wrote something in here because i dont know if you realize it but just being kind and nice like that does make people feel better inside and it made me feel better. i know i should fight but if i fight i get in trouble and if i dont fight i get in trouble so i just try to keep to myself or hang with friends that dont act like the bullies.

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.

That's the spirit, boy. Really proud of you. You're completely right. What does it matter to anyone else? Does you being gay mean someone's going to suffer or die? Of course not! It would be like saying every straight person's some evil heartless spawn. There's no difference between a homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, bisexual or whatever shiz, except that you're attracted to different people.

People are ignorant, they tend to believe that if you're gay, that means you like -every single guy- which of course, we know isn't true. And believe it or not, most likely, a lot of the people who bully you may be super closeted, in-denial homosexuals, as well. They just pick on you to make it look like they aren't. A lot of kids also do that because they think it's funny, they want to fit in or they just don't understand the consequences.

Don't let them win. Don't let them break you, you're stronger than this. Show that you're stronger, tougher, way more mature and better than them. They're terrible immature to have stooped so low. But you know there's nothing wrong with you. So what if you're gay? My best friend's bi and she's still my best friend!

No one can bring you down without your consent.

[Thanatos]

You realized in one day what every person in this world with self confidence or bullying issues needs help to achieve. To learn that no matter what others think, or say, or do, they are meaningless. All that truly matters is what we think of ourselves.

As for the gay/notgay thing, you are 13 years old man, ignore labels. Labeling yourself achieves nothing. Whether you are or will be gay, straight or bi is completely unimportant right now, you have all of your life to do that. Right now worry about staying focused in school, finding some friends who like you for you regardless of what you are, and making sure that you like yourself. If you do those 3 things I guarantee you that you will be happy no matter what others have to say about it.

[logan fields]

wow you guys are amazing so thank you very much. if i knew this place was this cool i would have come here before now because i already feel better just being here with good people. i dont know how i can repay you but thank you for being so nice to me.

[trooneh]

wow you guys are amazing so thank you very much. if i knew this place was this cool i would have come here before now because i already feel better just being here with good people. i dont know how i can repay you but thank you for being so nice to me.

I don't think anyone here would ask you to repay them. Everyone here is here to help. Keep your head up, buddy.

[Dimitri]

Yes man, we don't want payment, we just wan to make sure you are okay, we are a "community" a community means you watch out for one another and always help eachother no matter what. You can always come to me or anyone else here.

[Thanatos]

I don't think anyone here would ask you to repay them. Everyone here is here to help. Keep your head up, buddy.

Seconding this. The community here shares a lot of similar issues, we all know how it feels to be the odd one out. Even the ones here who lack a severe issue in life, like myself all I ever dealt with was minor bullying and even that wasnt bad, are here to provide support for others.

Actually the main reason I'm on here is because I want to be a High School Teacher/Counselor/Coach so I'm hooked on the whole helping people out thing.

Ever have any issues, and I'm sure others will agree or repeat this, don't hesitate to post either a thread or on my wall. :D

[Dark Vamp]

ok im going to be honest and hope that nobody will make fun of me but everybody just tells me to be me and well im not to good at that right now because everytime i try to be me i get bullied real bad and they call me gay.

i dont know if i am gay or not and i dont want to be but just because i dont play sports and i dont like to fight and because i dont have a girlfriend kids at my school and around here call me gay and make fun of me all the time and it gets so depressing. i would never like kill myself but i do understand why some kids that are bullied do because its not fun and its a very mean thing to do and i dont ever hurt anyone.

even if i am gay someday how would i ever live with that because if they already hate me and i dont even know yet then they would really hate me then and i just want it all to stop.

Hey, bullying works so great as long as the person being bullied gives the bully what he wants which is you being upset. Thats what the bully wants. People sometimes like to point the finger at others because they dont want to look at themselves. If rather then getting upset you make a joke of what they are saying about you it will stop because it wont be bullying if you are enjoying it. As long as they dont hit you of course than that calls for something else.

[logan fields]

if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.

[Donkey]

if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.
don't fight. you're the bigger man, keep it that way

[trooneh]

if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.


Don't fight them. You're stronger than they are in so many ways, and you'll be the one that will be giving them orders when you're older and working.

[thomasgj]

it's ridiculous that the term gay offends people. if i was called straight i'd simply reply that i wasn't 8-)

[trooneh]

it's ridiculous that the term gay offends people. if i was called straight i'd simply reply that i wasn't 8-)

It's the social stigma that's involved, in some parts of the country. For example, try coming out as gay in rural Mississippi. You won't get a very good reaction.

[thomasgj]

It's the social stigma that's involved, in some parts of the country. For example, try coming out as gay in rural Mississippi. You won't get a very good reaction.

granted, but taking offense to the term doesn't exactly help the cause :P

[Foamy]

granted, but taking offense to the term doesn't exactly help the cause :P

Well....people don't want to be called something they're not....

[Dimitri]

if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.
Yeah man, don't fight back, that just fuels there anger, it just gives them what they want and then they know they got you.

[thomasgj]

Well....people don't want to be called something they're not....

obviously, but I get confused for being black often - I don't act as though it's such a terrible thing to be called. that'd be offensive to black people.

I'm not regarding this to the OP; I'm stating that it's wrong that "gay" is being used as some sort of profanity... when in reality, it's just a sexuality.

[TrevorTime]

The word "gay" can be used as a put down though. For example, if boy #1 is interested in something femmy (clothes, music, whatever), and boy #2 takes offense to this, he would say, "don't be so gay". And boy #1 could be as straight as an arrow.

[thomasgj]

The word "gay" can be used as a put down though. For example, if boy #1 is interested in something femmy (clothes, music, whatever), and boy #2 takes offense to this, he would say, "don't be so gay". And boy #1 could be as straight as an arrow.

liking "femmy" stuff isn't equivalent to being gay, so the point is irrelevant. yes, i realise that "gay" is used as an insult, but my point is it's retarded to use it as an insult.

i.e. boy 1 liking feminine stuff automatically making him gay - but who's to say a gay guy can't like football or a straight guy like lady gaga?

what difference does sexuality make in entertainment preference? :S

[Foamy]

i.e. boy 1 liking feminine stuff automatically making him gay - but who's to say a gay guy can't like football or a straight guy like lady gaga?

what difference does sexuality make in entertainment preference? :S

It doesn't. It's just that people calling someone gay for these reasons are fucked up. A guy doesn't have to be the " manliest man" to not be gay. He could as feminine as the next one and still be straight.

[thomasgj]

It doesn't. It's just that people calling someone gay for these reasons are fucked up. A guy doesn't have to be the " manliest man" to not be gay. He could as feminine as the next one and still be straight.

that's pretty much been my point :P

[kuuliluuk]

if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.

They hang in groups, and if they feel they didn't hurt you enough they get mad and do everything to hurt you more, until they feel satisfied. Ah, I know that. It's sad. If you can, you should make your own group of friends you hang with. Then they will think one more time before giving a try. I know it is easier to say than do. But what else can I do here?
But your real life friends are actually more important than virtual friends here. Because real friends are availabe any time you need. they know you better and they could help you in your real life. We here could be just offline when you need someone to talk and we can not stand beside you to face bullies.
If it gets really bad, you should think of going to other school. It could help if your situation is desperate. But at the same time you never know if new place is any better.

[Dark Vamp]

Its true bullies do bully with other bullies it makes them feel "powerful" fighting is not the way. I deal with bullies just by making it into a joke, It did piss them off but no bully has fought me though.

[logan fields]

thank you everbody for all your nice replies and thanks for the ideas and advice to because it gives me stuff to think about. i agree that being femme might make me a target but im not femme and i dont dress femmy either. i agree and disagree with thomas because i understand what he is saying but where i live being called gay even if you are is even worse then a black boy being called the n word because being called gay or fagot is like the lowest thing you can be around here and they know that. it also gets around school real quick.

[thomasgj]

i guess because i am gay and don't take offense to being called gay, i wouldn't understand what logan and the rest of you all feel. ;)

[Foamy]

Don't let rumors spread like that either. Other groups of bullies will pick on you after hearing. Hell, a rumor was going around my school that I was dating someone when I wasn't. It probably still goes around.

[kuuliluuk]

Don't let rumors spread like that either. Other groups of bullies will pick on you after hearing. Hell, a rumor was going around my school that I was dating someone when I wasn't. It probably still goes around.

You could create rumors about yourself which is absolutely and obviously not true. To discredit them who spread rumors. (Like you being hit by car or beaten up badly and being in hospital with broken bones and then on monday morning you appear in school healthy and uninjured) Or rumors that set you in positive light.. But you must be clever in that.
You can use weapons of your enemy.

[logan fields]

i dont want to be like my enemies because i know they are just cowards and i dont want to lie because i do like who i am i just want to be me and for losers to leave me alone.
thomas maybe you live in a bnig city where being a gay kid is no big deal but when you live in a small town nobody talks about being gay even if they are gay because they know they will be picked on by the creeps. with me though i never told anyone i was gay and i dont act femme but they call me it anyways just because im quiet and i like school and i dont play sports and i dont have a girlfriend. why shouldnt i be allowed to just be me without everyone expecting me to be like everyone else? it doesnt make sense to me. i think i might be gay but im not sure but even if i do know im gay i could never tell anyone because it would be even worse.

[PerpetualMotionSquad]

Hey Logan. The reason these people bully you is because you have something they will never have. A nice personality. They think you are the weak one and they always try to find an easy target so if you try to show them that it does not bother you then maybe they will take a step back. Also if you do find out you are gay, come out straight away because then this will stunt their bullying because you have admitted to you being gay. Also you seem like they guy who does not want to fight back if that is true then stay that way because sometimes fighting can lead to more violence. If you want any further information on this then PM me and i will tell you about my previous experiences and how i dealt with them. I hope i helped :D

[Thanatos]

The fact of life in middle school and high school is that anyone who is different is seen to be weird and therefor someone to avoid or make fun of. This sucks, but it comes down to the immaturity of others and their inability to think that being different might actually be better. College is the real time for 'different' people as there are more them to be found. For now the best thing you can do is try to find other people who like you for who you are and stay friends with them and not worry about what anyone else thinks.

[lolatthatguy]

Man Im Sorry to hear but Trevor is very right in what he says because that what i went through even being bigger than most of the kids picking on me, all u gotta do is stand up for your self make some really hot lady friends and hang out with them because jealousy sucks and all the kids that were picking on you will be like dayum logan is getting the Beches* and will move on with their dumb self

[logan fields]

thanks dylan and everybody else so much but actually thats part of the problem. there are girls at school that like me and two cute girls even asked me if id be there bf but when i said i wasnt ready for all that yet it got around and thats when they started calling me gay but it wasnt the girls it was the boys. then they started saying i didnt play sports and i liked school so i had to be gay. with the girls i just didnt want to lie to them and say id be there bf just to prove i wasnt gay and besides im not sure what i am yet but i dont think im into girls very much at all unless we are just friends but anyways thank you for writing to me.

[Weeping]

I know that it's hard, but try to ignore them.


i know i should fight

No, you shouldn't.

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways?

True! (:

i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

They may not even think that you're gay, they just need something to tease you about.

[TrevorTime]

there are girls at school that like me and two cute girls even asked me if id be there bf but when i said i wasnt ready for all that yet it got around and thats when they started calling me gay but it wasnt the girls it was the boys.

Dayum, what kind of fukked up school is this anyways? Just because a 13 yr old boy doesn't want a girlfriend right away, that automatically makes him gay? I swear, that is the dorkiest logic I have ever heard. I can think of plenty of reasons why a 13 yr old straight guy would not want a girlfriend right away.

Logan, unless those haters are mind readers, then they can't possibly know if you like guys or girls. I have a feeling that they are jealous of your good looks, and just picked the easiest thing to try and cut you down. :mad:

[blackpo]

You seem like a awesome person. People especially some jocks/ idiots pick on the people that intimidate them even if it is not physically they see how attractive you are( which is VERY) they try to make that person break because they want everyone around them to see that they( the bully) is high but you are to nice to have to be undermined by a group of low life idiots... stay strong

[Wolfspirit]

Don't worry bout them, when someone talks about me I just shrug it off. In the end, I don't care what they say, I'm still going to be me. For them in groups, try hanging in groups with your rly close friends. Thats what I do in high school. Get involved in things, you know like Theater or band. I'm in both of those, with them together, I've got over 230 or so friends. So if someone ever did something to me, I'd have plenty of people to help. Just remember to enjoy yourself and your friends, don't worry bout what any one says bout you. Trust me once I ignored what people thought bout me, then stopped caring bout what they said, most of them quit messing with me.

[logan fields]

lol i dont think there jealous of my looks lol because i dont think i look to good anyways but thanks for saying that and yea i wont change who i am just to make the creeps happy but it still hurts when they say stuff like that. i do have some good friends and we do hang together but there not really the tough crowd because i never got into that macho stuff because its usually just fake but thanks for the good advice and more then that really thnk you for just caring because i think you people are amazing. i wish you guys went to my school.

[Foamy]

lol i dont think there jealous of my looks.

I am. :)

[DJZS]

Listen, everyone used to call me gay before i even knew i was because i didnt play sports and i didnt have a girlfriend. When i finally realised i was gay and i came out everyone stopped calling me gay. They are just calling you that because they are stupid and they think its an insult. Im always here for you if you need to talk :)

[logan fields]

hey zack thank you and its really wild to hear that other kids have gone through the same stuff for the same reasons and yea bullies are dorks. i am really happy for you that you figured yourself out and came out and everything is better now but even if i am gay i could never tell anyone because then my parents would know and i could never do that because they dont act like they ar crazy about gay people either but there not mean about it or stuff like that. anyways thank you so much ok

[Sterling26]

back when i was in middle school and girl crazy some kids would call me gay occasionally and it really pissed me off, though as u get older most kids will realize its a serious matter and wont continue

[LGCALI]

i just want to say thanks to everyone who wrote something in here because i dont know if you realize it but just being kind and nice like that does make people feel better inside and it made me feel better. i know i should fight but if i fight i get in trouble and if i dont fight i get in trouble so i just try to keep to myself or hang with friends that dont act like the bullies.

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.

Logan, chances are that these bullies don't care whether you're gay or not, what they care about is making you feel bad so they can have some semblance of feeling good. You appear weak or vulnerable to them and they're exploiting it.

You have to separate your being unsure about being gay ( you're thirteen, you're not supposed to be sure of too much at that age) from these a$$holes picking on you by "labeling" you gay. Those are two completely different things.

The most disturbing thing about stories like yours is that these kids are totally out of line, behaving beyond what is acceptable, complete butt wipes, yet it's you that's suffering. You're the one hurting and that's just ass backwards.

You must confide in a responsible adult who can intervene on your behalf immediately. You trust the people here enough to talk about your deepest feelings, and you have probably never met any of us. There must be someone in your life that you trust enough to help you. These bozos will not stop this behavior until the consequences are more severe than "the ego boost" they get from picking on you. I see that you may not be able to deliver those consequences yourself at this time, but I'm willing to bet there's an adult who cares about you and who can deliver them.

Gather your true friends around you, stay strong, and remember its not you that's the a$$hole, it's the bullies.

All the best...

[mikeywrenn]

I've personally seen the same thing happening to others, with the "Haha, you're gay!" and alike. It's a well-known fact that humans find great joy in grouping together and attacking minorities; take the Jews for example, homosexuals, ethnic minorities on the whole.

The worst thing you can do is take simple name calling seriously, shrug it off and laugh. If you're anything under the age of sixteen, you wont truly know your sexuality (whether you're straight, bisexual or homosexual), so you don't need to worry about it.

Something I said elsewhere is- "They don't hate you!" No matter how much they say it, they don't actually hate you. If they're going out of their way to come over and call you gay, then surely they have some kind of attachment to you. It tends to be jealousy; having a better phone, having better looks, being smarter or even the fact that they're confused themselves.

I hope what I've said can help you, at least a little and I also hope you pull through this a better person.

[MjamesC]

Personally, I think this is one of the most annoying insults. First, gay people are just like straight people. Frankly they are more fun to be around. (And I'm 500% straight) And how is being gay an insult? Just because you do something out of the ordinary means you like men?

[Salader]

Ignore them. Block them out. When they try to think of new ways block that out. I learnt to just ignore people trying to take the mickey out of me. If they say something which really gets to you. Just say "yeah, yeah. Sure whatever" And say it sarcastically. It makes the people who pick on others in my school just shut up.

You learn pretty quickly on what to do and not to. If you do anything at all. Don't react. If there being racist or sexist or anything discriminating. Ignore them and tell a teacher or someone of authority.

[Luke.m]

Hey i went through the same thing a while ago cause i dont like sports but girls asked me out but i said no. I just stood up to the bullies and hung out with my friends and tried to make more friends and then they realized i wasnt that bad... Now i have no bullies really but there are still the same idiots that will never leave you alone :)

[Slytherin_Prince]

Logan,

Calling names does seem to be the most prevalent form of bullying, whether this is true or not. I started being openly gay when I was 11, so I can see where you're coming from. You should always remember, that many have had, or are having, similar experiences, and people here will never make fun of you for what you're going through.

Most importantly, no matter how hard it may seem from time to time, never stop being yourself. Your individuality is what makes you who you are, and you must never lose that, no matter what they call you or no matter what means they use to get you down. Do NOT give in.

As for your other concerns, the decision whether you are gay, straight or bi is your own to make. Don't let anyone else influence you, it should be your own choice and you should stand behind it wholeheartedly.
As for the reason why bullies are being like that, they know that's the way to get you down. But whatever they do, don't let them get to you. It doesn't matter if you like sports or not, whether you've had girlfriends or not, or whether you're straight, gay or bi. I haven't had a relationship before myself, nor do I really practice any sport, but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else, and therefore the same can be said of you.

But you are right. Bullying is an extremely cruel thing to do, and it hurts more than the bullies can possibly imagine. Again, the trick is not letting it get to you. When the going gets tough, I think I speak for everyone here that we WILL be here to support you.

As for your final concern, IF you are gay, the greatest step you can take is to accept it, or at least come to terms with it. With me that happened pretty much overnight, an epiphany one might say, but I can certainly understand how hard that can be. This does not mean I wasn't bullied at school, though. The thing is, once you know how to shrug that off, you'll find that it simply doesn't affect you anymore. For example, I have been called "gay" or "faggot" more than I care to admit. The thing is, I am gay, so why would I be offended if they called me such? Eventually I just started answering their "inquiries" with a "yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that? If so, feel free to say so."

Of course, if the relentless bullying persists, always seek adult help within the school perimeter, or ask your parents to call for a meeting. Asking for help like this does not make you weak, it makes you smart.

However, all of this aside, bullying will always be there, in all forms imaginable. The problem is, if you let that get to you, you'll end up destroying yourself, much like I almost did twice, though that was because of other reasons than bullying. You did mention you weren't considering suicide, but whatever happens, don't ever consider it. Trust me, it's not worth it.

I think this about concludes what I have to say. I do not know whether this has been helpfull to you, or anyone, at all, but regardless of that, I wish you the best of luck. I think I speak for many others as well as for myself when I say that I hugely respect you for what you do, and for who you are.
Never change.

Most sincerely,
Robert.

[logan fields]

everyone here is awesome and everything everyone said to me means a lot to me because it tells me that just because some kids are jerks and bullies there are also people like you guys and amaryllis that like me and treat me good so yea that means a whole lot to me and thanks so much to. people who wrote to me here like larry and michaels and robert are really great people because i can tell you care and i want to be just like you guys are.

yea im confused about certain stuff and nope i wont let the creeps make me decide anything but the stuff i feel inside is like a secrete because i could never tell anyone about it. my parents wouldnt understand and my friends wouldnt understand and who would ever take a chance of being hated because things are already bad enough and if i tel someone about the bullying then i am a snitch and well it would just get worse so i can live with all this mess because i know i will be better and stronger then them someday so for everybody who wrote to me i just need to say thank you ok

[Thanatos]

A lot of people underestimate the amount of kindness that exists in the world. News and TV loves to shove all the bad at us and how horrible people are, and in life the bullies are the most obvious that we tend to forget the people who do the small things day to day for us. Whatever happens in life we, especially those of us who are 'different', need to remember these little things, and learn to recognize the small kindnesses that happen all the time. There ARE people who UNDERSTAND and want to HELP. Don't let the loud minority override the everpresent, yet silent few.

I know I have forgotten that and it makes the suffering a whole lot worse, but once I realized there were people I could talk to, online and in real life, it became a burden off my shoulders. I am here for anyone who wants to talk.

Just remember, bullies want a reaction, they want to see the anger, frustration, humiliation, depression. By remaining indifferent to them, you show that you aren't afraid or intimidated WITHOUT the need for violence. Everything gets better with time.

[Slytherin_Prince]

A lot of people underestimate the amount of kindness that exists in the world. News and TV loves to shove all the bad at us and how horrible people are, and in life the bullies are the most obvious that we tend to forget the people who do the small things day to day for us. Whatever happens in life we, especially those of us who are 'different', need to remember these little things, and learn to recognize the small kindnesses that happen all the time. There ARE people who UNDERSTAND and want to HELP. Don't let the loud minority override the everpresent, yet silent few.

I know I have forgotten that and it makes the suffering a whole lot worse, but once I realized there were people I could talk to, online and in real life, it became a burden off my shoulders. I am here for anyone who wants to talk.

Just remember, bullies want a reaction, they want to see the anger, frustration, humiliation, depression. By remaining indifferent to them, you show that you aren't afraid or intimidated WITHOUT the need for violence. Everything gets better with time.



Very wise post. This seems to perfectly sum up my thoughts about things.
I will rep you for this :)

Most sincerely,
Robert.

[Antagonist]

If someone were to call me gay i would:
Say that im not gay, im bi.
Explain that i have a girl freind.
Probably go to the guidance counselor.

Sexuality barely plays a role. Bullies will call someone gay no matter what someone is.

Stay strong, it will be okay if you stand up for yourself and go to an adult.

[Levy]

The most important opinion you can value is your own, just remember that. It hurts when people are shrewd towards you, but it also hurts to hide who you are on the inside to meet society's standards.

[Antagonist]

The most important opinion you can value is your own, just remember that. It hurts when people are shrewd towards you, but it also hurts to hide who you are on the inside to meet society's standards.

This helped me, and I agree with it one hundred percent.

[logan fields]

jay and nate i loved what you wrote and i agree with noah because what you said also helped me. i know i keep my feelings inside because i am scared what people will think and to be honest i dont need any more mean stuff in my life but having vt and all you cool people to talk to makes it 100 times easier for me because it lets me talk about stuff and it tells me that im not a freak and im not alone and that is more awesome then you know. i hate to sound like some baby sometimes but when stuff hurts inside it just makes me sad and well it just helps to talk about it so thanks for letting me talk sometimes.

[Levy]

jay and nate i loved what you wrote and i agree with noah because what you said also helped me. i know i keep my feelings inside because i am scared what people will think and to be honest i dont need any more mean stuff in my life but having vt and all you cool people to talk to makes it 100 times easier for me because it lets me talk about stuff and it tells me that im not a freak and im not alone and that is more awesome then you know. i hate to sound like some baby sometimes but when stuff hurts inside it just makes me sad and well it just helps to talk about it so thanks for letting me talk sometimes.

Life is hard sometimes, but once you get through challenges, usually, you come out stronger than before. It's like the quote "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger."

[fancy]

i am gay i am 13

[Matt_is_Awesome]

I'm in the same situation as you.
People at my school think I'm gay but i never let that bother me ever. Yea sometimes it can get annoying and sometimes you want to well cry but just never give in because one day your going to have all the hot chicks an there going to have nothing. If you have any thing to talk about and I do mean ANYTHING please feel free to PM me or eMail me k :) hope I made you feel better and that this problem goes away :)

[teendanica]

Trust yourself. Be confident. Don't mind others. That would do. :)

[Dimitri]

To be honest Logan, you are young, right now you are trying to find yourself in life and from what I see you are doing a good job of it. Hey man, you might be gay, straight or bi but remember that is YOUR decision, no one else's. I think that many of the people who pick on you might see that you are comfortable with yourself and they are jealous of you. They want it too but cannot find it. One time I sat down with a former bully or mine and just said listen here bud, we have a problem and for some reason you think you can fix it by making my life hell, what is going on in your life?

He cried, he balled his eyes out, turns out his cousin committed suicide and his dad got laid off work, I helped him through it. I am not saying this to defend the bullies but I am saying this because they have some problems themselves and maybe they might be trying to focus on you instead of their problems.

[Sauce1800]

I know exactly what you're going through. I had almost the same exact situation when I was a kid. In elementary school, over the summer my parents would send me to a sports camp. Since it was a sports camp, it was filled with all the top athletic douchebags of the area. And me being a normal person who was a little on the non-athletic side, I stuck out as a sore thumb. So, I was bullied. By everyone. All the time. They laughed at me for how bad at sports I was, how weak I was, etc. There was even a little bit of physical bullying occasionally (only a little though thankfully). I remember going home and just wishing more than anything in the world for them to switch places with me for a day and feel what it's like.

Just know that all of this in the end will only make you stronger and more interesting. In a way, honestly I'm kind of glad I was bullied. Of course it was painful to go through, but afterwards I came out stronger and smarter. Trust me, as you grow up, you will see that the types of people who were popular will end up being the weak ones. They've gotten everything they've wanted their whole lives. They don't know how to handle problems. They don't know how to go through tough times. But people like you do, so you will be the ones succeeding. I'm seeing this happen right now, and it's awesome. So don't worry, you're going down the right path.

[Sauce1800]

One more thing don't spend too much time on forums like these. Sure, you come here to make friends and talk about stuff, just don't have your internet social life replace your real world social life. I made that mistake in 9th grade. Bad desicion, trust me.