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Origami
October 25th, 2011, 01:50 AM
I realized it had been sometime since I had written anything, so I threw this together in the span of five minutes. Enjoy.


Single drop falls from place,
Suddenly trapped between,
Inside time and space.

Suspended, still spirited.
You're not within you,
Floating outside, inside the drop.

Glimmer of hope strikes the drop,
Self-contained prism,
Explodes and consumes.

Bright lights surround you;
Above, below, all around-
Blurry Kaleidascope reality.

Red discovers blue
Lost in love and to purple,
And I fall into you.

Spring comes anew-
Red rose, blue orchid,
One blossom, unified.

Summer burns bright,
Full blooms flourish-
The breeze, it comforts.

Autumn looms overhead,
Petals wilt, sorrow envelopes-
Constricts, Strangles.

Winter, so morose.
Snow cloaks the colors;
Buries, and leaves forgotten.

Red and blue to purple,
To brown and orange,
White and forgotten.

Spring will dawn again,
Rebirth to the blossoms,
Unified still.

embers
October 25th, 2011, 06:17 AM
I love the aesthetics.

Origami
October 25th, 2011, 08:13 AM
I love the aesthetics.

That's it? Wonderful.

Spook
October 25th, 2011, 09:10 AM
I love the poem. The rhythm and mood flows together, and the colors set a flare to the theme. Good work :D

embers
October 25th, 2011, 09:20 AM
That's it? Wonderful.

Pressed for time.

The only qualms I have with the poem is that the first two stanzas push imagery that I don't get because they're hindered by being oddly worded. As for the rest, yeah, the focus is more on how the words look than the actual words themselves, but I feel that the words and images also need to compliment the colours rather than solely the vice-versa. At the moment you've drawn attention to fancy colours but hardly thought about the words that are coloured.

Then again, maybe I'm wrong and I'm either being incompetent about understanding this or the wording is on purpose.

Origami
October 25th, 2011, 01:59 PM
Pressed for time.

The only qualms I have with the poem is that the first two stanzas push imagery that I don't get because they're hindered by being oddly worded. As for the rest, yeah, the focus is more on how the words look than the actual words themselves, but I feel that the words and images also need to compliment the colours rather than solely the vice-versa. At the moment you've drawn attention to fancy colours but hardly thought about the words that are coloured.

Then again, maybe I'm wrong and I'm either being incompetent about understanding this or the wording is on purpose.

The aesthetics was a result of boredom when posting it to VT. The entire thing, as stated, was written it 5 minutes. It's not perfect, just a random metaphor.

embers
October 25th, 2011, 02:11 PM
The aesthetics was a result of boredom when posting it to VT. The entire thing, as stated, was written it 5 minutes. It's not perfect, just a random metaphor.

I realise that, I was just sayin'.