I need help...

[adrenaline500mg]

so I have a boyfriend. he's incredible. everything I could ask for and more. The only issue in our relationship is me!

I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 months. But i'm addicted to sex. That started in january when i made a "friend" who would take advantage of my low self esteem and force me to have sex with her friends and stuff. i got used to that and it just became a habit. And I'm really trying to break it. Anyways. Now i can never say no to making out or fucking another guy if he wants me to. So i've cheated on my boyfriend a couple times. the first few i jsut felt a little bad. But the last time i had a breakdown. I mean, it's not like i want to cheat. i love my boyfriend more than anything. i just can't say no! So the last time i cut myself. Once for each time and i carves "I'M SORRY" next to it. I figure i may as well punish myself.

All the advice for this seems to say that there's something wrong with the relationship and i should just break up with him. i don't want to break up with him. And the only thing i can find wrong is that we can never see eachother, and we can't really talk either. He has a phone that i can text him and call him but he's in the army and the phone is at base so our communication is usually through facebook. I can't always see him cuz he lives several towns away and his car is broken. I could always take the bus but it's not like i can just show up in West Haven because how would he know if i neve rtold him i was coming? So i'm attempting to fix this problem by going to the mall every once in a while because he's walking distance from the mall.

I love him. i don't want to have to leave him and i don't want him to leave me. I just don't know what to do with myself. If i can't make myself stop this habit now then what am i going to do when he gets deployed??? so no one tell me to break up with him because i won't. I can't see myself with anyone else but him.

[Bob_]

Well for starters, it's good that you only want to be with him, it shows there's meaning in it. But sex can easily be an addiction like drugs, and can require medical treatment. I don't believe you're trying to cheat at all, and trust you're trying to stop. And you should try talking to him as much as. You can, and when it comes to other guys being put in the situation, try thinking of him, or having some sort of activity to take the stress away, like going for a walk or a run. Maybe even some artistic skil of sorts. But just try to remember, he'll be there, they don't care. Try to arrange hanging with him whenevr possible, and it'll become something you grow used to.

Never forget the love.

[adrenaline500mg]

Things are hard. For some reason the moment i started highschool i immediatly started attrating all sorts of guys. And not even guys from school sometimes! I'm talking about guys 10 years older than me that i run into on the street or meet through a mutual friend. And they wanna fuck me. Yeah a couple months ago when i didn't care about cheating, or i wasn;t in a relationship, yeah i'd go for it. But right now, my 20-something year old friend (i'm 15, btw) keeps bringing up this agreement we had. a while ago we agreed that next time he took the train up to Ansonia we'd meet up and do whatever. That got put on hold when he got a girlfriend. And i was perfectly fine. But when i get a boyfriend he's like "oh we agreed on this" and i'm like T-T

Yeah. I'm not gonna cheat on Nick. no... no no no no no absolutely not. Not anymore. i refuse...

[ryantombs]

Good job with your friend and i kno it may be tough to hear but he might not be a good friend hun yur 15 hes 20something atleast 5 yrs diff. Maybr not long in yrs but in matureity/ mentality its light yrs. Hes already out of HS and maybe college too where yur practically starting HS totally diff and yu will see by senior yr what jus 4 yrs cud do to yu. And it almost seems like yur friend is just aftr sex. I wud jus be like yo stop i have a bf yur on hold.

As for everything else i have two things
1) maybe to help cope wit the sex addiction maybe try talking dirty with him everyonce in a while and even masturbate to the ideas. (its just an idea sorry if yu dont like it) i kno like its something you dnt hear much of but i kno me and my ex did it and it was great way to cope wen we cudnt see eachother
2) tell him maybe tell him i cheated on you he flips out and wen he goes you dont care or love me you cud really show him tht im sorry on yur body. And be like yea idfc about you but i csrved im sorry in my leg cuz i felt like i had to punIsh myself becuz of wat i did to yu and i regret it. And say ya kno tht yu feel addicted to sex andthe reasons why. I kno when my best friend said i didnt care i showed here my scars out of rage and she got real upset and basically kinda took back everything she said. I kno its hard shoeing people two people saw my my ex gf/bestfriend and my doctor (found them) i knoe its hard so maybe not tht if your noy ready. Yu cud maybe tell him what you did and why.
Or i vote for telling him yu feel addicted and talk with him about it and do #1 xD yu might like it haha
I hope it helps yu atleast some part

[adrenaline500mg]

I might try #1.

Also, i'm SOOOO excited. Saturday I'm goig to the atc againand after that i'm gonne go up to hamden and I might be sleeping over his house! I'm so excited to see him!

[Bob_]

If you wanna know guys are doing these things, it's because most of us are manipulative jerks. =P Most don't care about your feelings, just trying to get some for the time, and with minimal effort, so they take advantage of you.

[adrenaline500mg]

Oh no, unless he's a really fucking good actor, i'd know if he was lying. I'm extremely intuitive, i can tell when people lie. And I'm always right.

I'm so sure that he's not gonna do that.

[anonymous53]

Things are hard. For some reason the moment i started highschool i immediatly started attrating all sorts of guys. And not even guys from school sometimes! I'm talking about guys 10 years older than me that i run into on the street or meet through a mutual friend. And they wanna fuck me. Yeah a couple months ago when i didn't care about cheating, or i wasn;t in a relationship, yeah i'd go for it. But right now, my 20-something year old friend (i'm 15, btw) keeps bringing up this agreement we had. a while ago we agreed that next time he took the train up to Ansonia we'd meet up and do whatever. That got put on hold when he got a girlfriend. And i was perfectly fine. But when i get a boyfriend he's like "oh we agreed on this" and i'm like T-T

Yeah. I'm not gonna cheat on Nick. no... no no no no no absolutely not. Not anymore. i refuse...

I'mproud you won't.


I think you should go try to get therapy help for this though... and break it off with Nick. You need to tell him the truth.

[Bob_]

Who's to say she can't tell him and still stay with Nick? If he really is such a good guy, he'll understand.

[adrenaline500mg]

He's the best guy i've ever been with. I have no doubts about being with him. I've been in love twice before, but i always had doubts. But with him there aren't any.

I talked to him on the phone yesterday. Everything seems so perfect. He wants to get a place so we can move in together.The reason i couldn't is because I'm currently on a suspended order of detention. which is basically probation. But i might be getting off in December if i do good! And i really want to do that. I want to spend as much time with him as possible. He told me he's going to afganistan next year. It seems like a long time before now and then, but time goes too fast.

[supadupahitz]

Long distance relationships can be hard once you've had sex, especially if you really liked it. I know, because I've done it. It's not impossible and there are ways to work around it, but you just gotta do that so youre not unsatisfied and tempted.

[adrenaline500mg]

Well. Me and him haven't even had sex yet. And we've been together for like 7 months now! And only one of the times i cheated was actually sex! And that was several months ago. So you can imagine...

[Bob_]

Long distance relationships can be hard once you've had sex, especially if you really liked it. I know, because I've done it. It's not impossible and there are ways to work around it, but you just gotta do that so youre not unsatisfied and tempted.

Well it's really not that long distance... & after 7 months, you'll make it though this hard time.

[adrenaline500mg]

I so depressed. I was supposed to go sleep over his house today. But of course it started to snow and then my mom's car broke! I really don't know what to do with myself anymore...

[Bob_]

Yeah, life'll hit you with these negatives... There'll be plenty more chances, don't get too caught up with this. Also, being around him less doesn't mean either of you care less. If you're saddened by it, then it shows you care about him, and the same for him with you. It sucks, yeah, but you know... it happens, then you learn to deal with it and move on to trying again until you get to hang with him.

[adrenaline500mg]

Yeah. If i can find a ride i may be able to go today. But i can't sleep over because of school. I really don't care if i can sleep over or not. I just wanna see him.

I'm angry at the snow now. Snow, in october? What sort of shit is that!? I just hope it doesn't get like last year. I prefer the snow not to be up to my waist!

[Bob_]

Well it's always fun spending a holiday with him, so it shouldn't be too bad... & I haven't even had snow yet. In Michigan. Weird.