Quiting

[adrenaline500mg]

Ok. People say poy isn't addicting... But it is. I know because i am addicted. If some stranger asked me to smoke with them i can't say no. This mentality has led to my rape. And also my suicide attempt. I couldn't go a day without smoking. It would eat away at me and i'd get depressed and start cutting again. I started selling myself for weed. I stole money from my mom to buy it. And any money i earned went to buying it. If i found 100 dollars on the street the first thing i'd do is call up my dealer and buy weed. No, i would buy jewlery or makeup or anything. If i was hungry i'd steal food from target even if i had money in my pocket because it was all going to weed. One time i went 2 days without smoking and i couldn't handle it so i tried to kill myself. I spent 6 months in the hospital. I would've been ot in 3 months. But the hospital i was at allowed you to go home on the weekends if yo were goid and as long as youcame back. And 3 times i came back with a psitive utox. So they kept me there longer. And they threatened me that after the 3rd time if i came back a 4th time they would send me to residential. So i didn't smoke and i finally came home. As soon as i came home i started smoking again. Not as frequent.. but in 2 weeks i smoke over 5 times. But i'm on probation. Have been even before the hospital. One of the terms is random drug tests. Before going in the hospital i didn't get any tests... But last week my p.o. made me give her one. So it's probably positive and now i'm risking juvie, or residential. And since the drug test i haven't smoked. It's been a week and a half. Which is pretty good compared to my days of being high 24/7.

So right now I'm quitting. Everyday i still get the urge to smoke.. Or get high anyway pssible. I bet if i found a way to get high without risking a positive on a drug test, i'd probably do it anyway i can. And i bet that the very same day I'm off probation i'm going to use any money i have to buy weed...

[aperson444]

Underlying psychiatric conditions can increase risk for psychological addiction to anything (chocolate, porn, etc). You may want to actually try residential or a more closed inpatient treatment, but it seems to me that an underlying condition is contributing to the problem. Over here, we have a psychiatric ward that is meant for people to stay no more than 3-4 weeks. The short stay is enough for evaluation and a treatment plan. If the problem is actually really bad, they'll refer you to an outpatient or residential treatment program.

[Φρανκομβριτ]

I'm sorry to hear of your circumstances.

What you are most likely hearing is that marijuana is not physically addictive, which is true. You are, however, completely correct about it's mental power over some of us, especially those of us with an addictive personality.

It sounds to me like you have a problem that you seriously need to look in to. It's good you've been to detox, but I think you should see a psychiatric professional to discuss why you use marijuana in such a way and what alternative solutions there are to feeling okay while sober.

If you know you have difficulty with quitting, or feel vulnerable, call the hospital back and talk to them about it. It looks a lot better if you're trying to get over it and seek help when you need it rather than finding it in a random test. If you ask for help they will give it to you.

If you ever want to chat about marijuana usage in more depth, PM me.

[adrenaline500mg]

I met a girl yesterday that said my attachment to weed is because i started using it for theraputical reasons. She says if i only ever started using for recreational reasons i might not have become attached.

Personally i believe i would've became addiction either way. I'm just someone that gets addicted so easily. In less than i year i became addicted to cigarettes, weed, cutting, sex. All at once..

I can't go back into a hospital, or residential/detention, type situation. I've been abused by nurses and staff in those places, which is where part of my ptsd comes from. I'll just flip out..

[aperson444]

I think that having friends helped me a lot when I was going through depression/anxiety. Although I thought I was completely alone back then, so I guess I really didn't realize that until later. I started using weed for therapeutic reasons too. I don't think that's the main cause of any dependence risk. If you use weed to hold yourself up from a pre-existing problem (i.e a crutch), then it's more likely you will develop a dependence on it.

[adrenaline500mg]

Omg. I am the luckiest person in the world. My theory: rain causes me good luck. So today i had court. A pre-trial. Basicaly determining what's going on with probation. Well last night i smoked. Although i may be making progress because i smoked strictly for recreation that time, not self medicating. Anyways, i was worried allll day that they would ask for a urine after the pre-trial. But they didn't! In fact, they said that if i do good, i might be off of this crap in December!!!! And now, I am DETERMINED to do good! I'm going to be very strict with myself from now on. I'm going to do everything i have to do in order to get off. From now on i will not smoke, i will always be home by 7 (court ordered curfew) unless i have permission to be out later. I have to. I want court to be a thing of the past. Mostly because if i'm not on probation, i can move in with my boyfriend. I don't know how my attachment to weed will go once i'm free of peeing in a cup, but I'm goig to'challenge myself togo without untill my 16th birthday. That's next year on July 9th.

[anonymous53]

How about you challenge yourself to quit it altogether? :) Not just until your 16th birthday. If you feel the urge to toke up just try smoking a cigarette, or eating something. Occupy yourself :)

[adrenaline500mg]

I haven't smoked in a while. I actually noticed that it really alters my mood! What happens is I'll smoke and then for a few days afterwards without smoking i'm really irritable..