How to apologize for being an ass three years ago?

[Wonder.]

In seventh grade (well, 5-7, but fifth we wern't the closest) I was really good friends with this kid. So, him and I were really good friends, we got along together well, and we just liked each other. But I can't remember any good times with him. All I can remember is when I said something dumb and mean to him. I always degraded him to make myself feel higher up than he was, but I wasn't. I feel terrible about it now. It's eating at my soul. I really want to apologize because we were really good friends. I just don't know how.

Another problem though is, I really don't want to apologize. When we stopped being friends, he just completely left. Our friendship was over because he wanted to hang out with the "popular" kids. I would say we started to grow apart, but instead of being a nice gradient like friendship usually is, it just cut off. And I'm still kind of pissed at him for that.

I was going to friend him on facebook, hoping that would be a start, but then I saw his profile picture. The picture is of him trying to look all cool and shit with his shirt off, and I don't want to be friends with someone who thinks he's all high and mighty. But I still feel bad about being such a jerk.

I should explain more. I wasn't like 24/7 mean to him, just sometimes. I feel so bad. But I can honestly say I hate him now.

Really, I think I just miss the time when we were friends. Times were nice then. I really did get along with him. Fuck, I almost loved him. I just don't know what to do.

[Shenron]

Well, it seems that there have been issues between you that have wedged you apart. I'm not sure if you can forgive or overlook these things or not but if you miss him that much you should try to rekindle the friendship. It sounds like you were very close and that is something that does not happen often.

[Jagador]

Agreed with chris, but only rekindle it or at least try if you really want to befriend him again. From what you describe, sounds like my former friend in 5th grade. Kewl friend and all, i was never mean, and then he instantly bailed on me to join the popular kids. People like them are just asses. They use people, and in the end, popularity is more important than a single good friend. I never tried to befriend him again, i just left him, but if you think you have a shot, then by all means aim that pistol, and aim for the bullseye. And, i don't think facebook is the best place to start, but if that is the only form of contact you have to reach him, then start there.

[Wonder.]

You know, I was talking to one of my friends who's friends with him, and she said he's a douche. She also pointed out that he probably doesn't even care. He kind of a careless douche. I still feel bad though. I think I know why I'm feeling so bad about it now though, I'm pretty sure it will just fade. I don't think I'm going to do anything.

[Jupiter]

I feel like this question has been answered. Just reasuring you.. these answers are correct :)

[Shenron]

You know, I was talking to one of my friends who's friends with him, and she said he's a douche. She also pointed out that he probably doesn't even care. He kind of a careless douche. I still feel bad though. I think I know why I'm feeling so bad about it now though, I'm pretty sure it will just fade. I don't think I'm going to do anything.

If you have had experience with him being an ass then that is fine but if you were close friends in the past I wouldn't go on what others say. Maybe try to associate with him again a little here and there to get a feel for what he is like now. If you want to just let it go then that is up to you, just trying to give another perspective.

[Wonder.]

If I ever have to work with him on some project in class, then I will talk to him. Or if I'm around him because I'm with a friend but other than that, I don't think I'll make any attempts. Does that seem right? Should I just try talking to him? I suck at decisions.

[Shenron]

Well, like I said, if YOU have had personal first hand experience of him being an asshole then I support your decision to steer clear of him. If you are basing that off of what your friend told you then I would find out for yourself. If you do not know for a fact that he is an ass then you should try talking to him every now and then and just see how it goes. I would advise you to think about haw close you were before and what kind of person he was then. If you think that based off of this you would like him as a friend again then you should talk to him.

[Wonder.]

I have seen him do stupid things. I'm not completely basing him off of what others say. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to drop the whole thing.

Friendship: It's fun while it lasts, then it stops. The End.

[Shenron]

Well, stupid and dickish are different. I am not telling you you are making the wrong decision. I'm just trying to help you out. Dropping the whole thing will not hurt at all. As for what you said about friendship, that is not entirely true. There are friends and then there are true friends. You do not come across a true friend often in this life so it is best to hang on to them when you do. I think that ending the whole thing would be best simply because it sounds as though you have made up your mind about the type of person he is.