Inferior

[Megson]

Inferior... I feel that way every day of my life. But I'm the only one who knows it.

It would be a major blow to my miniscule self-esteem if anyone knew how screwed up I am. I'd feel like everyone is looking DOWN on me. Pitying me, patronizing me, acting all sympathetic. I prefer indifference.

It's why I don't tell anyone that I cut. If they knew, they would all look down on me. I'd feel just like a weak little girl who can't keep her life together. Someone who needs help from other people. That's the worst feeling in the world to me.

I don't want to be that person.

Is the way I feel strange? Has ANYONE else felt this way?

[Jupiter]

Everyone feels down. If you need to talk to me, then just message me...... look at my sig...

[secretly_secret]

I feel that way too, Megan!

[Magenta]

This isn't strange. I've felt this way before a lot. I used to put on the brave girl face. Remember when you were a little kid and you got a needle and the doctor would tell you how brave you were? I've always wanted to feel brave and stay that way.

The reality is though, it's okay to accept help. It does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you stronger. Knowing when to look for help and getting up the courage to ask for it is the hardest thing to do. You have to push past your pride or any embarrassment. You can be brave in another way.

Sometimes it seems like people are looking at you a certain way but you may only be perceiving it as pity or looking down upon. This is one of my biggest flaws. I have a huge issue with thinking I know what others are thinking when I really don't. Try to remember that your strength may be hiding but it's there. You have more than you give yourself credit for and it's okay to ask for help.

No one is invincible and not being so doesn't make you inferior.

Feel free to PM me, Megan, if you need to talk to someone. :hug:

[AlmostHomeless]

I actually made a blog post like yesterday about this. How I feel pathetic.

[Megson]

For me, its not so much as feeling 'brave' but feeling... in control. Like I know what I'm doing. And I don't need help. I hate feeling helpless or needy. I despise getting help. It makes me feel like a burden and like I'm too weak to handle myself.

[StoppingTime]

Don't think like that. Sometimes people need help. There is no reason you should feel guilty about that. Nobody is perfect; everyone will have slip ups. Talk to someone who you really trust, and if they are a good friend, they will want to help you. Don't think of yourself as being a burden for them.

[FullyAlive]

I was talking to someone about this and she made some really good points.
She told me I as someone who cut thought that I had problems I guess. And sure I do, but so does everyone else.

Cutting doesn't make you inferior. Everyone self harms in different ways. Some like you, like me cut, others might go home and binge eat, smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. We all find our own way of coping with stress. Cutting is a less socially accepted form of coping but it's still a valid one.

Needing a bit of help to deal with how you feel is perfectly acceptable everyone needs a bit of help at some point in their lives, there is nothing to be ashamed about. A lot of people have extra help they just might not tell you they do.