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georgiamay
October 16th, 2011, 04:58 PM
I know for most of you, this is the last thing you want to do. But from my experience, I wish I’d been the one to tell my parents about it. So here goes:

1) They’ll find out eventually anyway, so you might as well be the one to tell them instead of them hearing it from someone else. My parents found out through the school the first time, and from reading my diary the next time. Honestly, I wish I’d just told them to begin with. Do you really think you’ll be able to keep it from them forever? They will find out, so you might as well have control over how they find out about it.

2) They’ll know what’s happened if you ever need to go to hospital. Imagine if you cut too deep and needed stitches, and your parents found out? Imagine what would be going through their head, they might even think it’s a suicide attempt. If you’d explained to them before-hand that you’ve got a problem with self harm, and that it’s not a suicide attempt, they’ll be a lot more aware and understanding in this kind of situation.

3) You can get help. This might be the last thing you want, but it’s the best thing for you, whatever you say. If you ask your parents to get you some help, I highly doubt they’ll say no. Ask them to take you to see your doctor about it, they don’t have to come in, but I’m sure they’d like to know about what kind of help you’re getting. If you’re under 18, you can’t get help without your parents knowing. Therefore, you should tell your parents about it before going to get help so they don’t here it from a doctor/someone else.

4) You won’t have to come up with excuses for covering up. This is a big problem for a lot of people. Say you’re out shopping with your mum, and she picks up a dress and suggests that you go any try it on, but you have scars all the way up your arms. If you mum didn’t know about it, you’d have to come up with an excuse quite quickly. If she did know, you could just say “I can’t wear that.” And you wouldn’t need to say anything else, because she’d know why. You wouldn’t have to lie your way out of family trips to the swimming pool either.

5) If you tell them, their reaction will probably be better than if they find out after you’ve kept it from them. A lot of people are scared to tell their parents because they’re scared of how they’ll react. I can garuntee you that their reaction would be a lot worse if they find out another way.

I think the way you tell your parents is a very personal thing, and it depends on you and your parents, so me giving advice wouldn’t work for everyone.

StoppingTime
October 16th, 2011, 04:59 PM
I vote sticky!

secretly_secret
October 16th, 2011, 05:02 PM
I don't know if I can.

Jupiter
October 16th, 2011, 06:52 PM
This should def be a sticky!

Magenta
October 16th, 2011, 07:00 PM
All of this is really true. Nice job, Georgia.

Sticky?

Dimitri
October 16th, 2011, 07:00 PM
I have to also agree that this should become a sticky because when I told my parents it was the best thing in the world, they were not mad at me for not telling them or that I kept my cutting from them, they were mad at themselves because I didn't want to tell them because I was too afraid to tell them. Since then I have always mad it a point to tell them everything, well, just about everything....

ReasonsForWeeping
October 16th, 2011, 09:19 PM
everyone thought i stopped they wont find out that i started again

secretly_secret
October 16th, 2011, 10:10 PM
Yeah. My friend (the only one I told) knows I used to. She has no idea I am cutting now, either, Raven.

Alexithymia
October 16th, 2011, 10:33 PM
First. Sticky

Second, I actually have experience of them FINDING out. So I can tell you how it really works.

1) They’ll find out eventually anyway, so you might as well be the one to tell them instead of them hearing it from someone else.
They will find out. And when they do, they freak. If you tell them, then it'll be easier. They won't freak. Or, if they do, it'll be a lot less freaking than if they found out in a different way.

2) They’ll know what’s happened if you ever need to go to hospital. No comment available, but I agree with what Georgia say.

3) You can get help.
I had help beforehand, due to severe depression. But she made me go again after she found out. So, whether you want it or not, you need it. And this is how you can get it.

4) You won’t have to come up with excuses for covering up. Life is so much easier.

5) If you tell them, their reaction will probably be better than if they find out after you’ve kept it from them. Agreeing with 1.

Love.Hate
October 17th, 2011, 11:31 AM
This is a good thread, like the others have said I think this should be a sticky :)

secretly_secret
October 17th, 2011, 11:32 AM
How do you make something a sticky anyway?

AlmostHomeless
October 17th, 2011, 02:51 PM
How do you make something a sticky anyway?

A mod will usually make a thread a sticky.

I'm considering telling my circle of friends. At least it's a step in the right direction.

Fiction
October 17th, 2011, 03:34 PM
I think the best point on this is that they will find out. My parents found out after I was in hospital for an overdose. It was the worst way that they could find out, and sometimes I wonder if i'd got help before, if that overdose would have even happened. Telling your parents isn't nearly as bad as you'll expect it to be. :)

Megson
October 17th, 2011, 06:20 PM
I don't know if my parents would ever find out. I am very careful.

Even if I did tell them, they wouldn't understand. They'd freak and say things like, "Why would you want to hurt yourself!? I don't understand!!" Just because they can't see passed their own noses. And besides, I wouldn't know how to explain why I do it.

Nice post, but it's no help to me...

XxArcAngelxX
October 18th, 2011, 01:04 AM
if you dont plan on stopping and you know you cant go without it should you tell?

alley
October 19th, 2011, 11:50 AM
when i told my parents they ignored it, and then decided to hate me for it..

Aubrie
October 19th, 2011, 12:21 PM
I don't know if my parents would ever find out. I am very careful.

Even if I did tell them, they wouldn't understand. They'd freak and say things like, "Why would you want to hurt yourself!? I don't understand!!" Just because they can't see passed their own noses. And besides, I wouldn't know how to explain why I do it.

Nice post, but it's no help to me...

That's exactly what I thought, but eventually I got careless. It happens to the majority of us.

That's how my mom reacted when she found out. She called me stupid and a bunch of other shit too. But I'm pretty sure her reaction would have been different if I had just come to her.

georgiamay
October 19th, 2011, 12:39 PM
I don't know if my parents would ever find out. I am very careful.

I was very careful as well. They always find out eventually. Just from looking at the people on VT, the majority of people's parents have found out at some point.

if you dont plan on stopping and you know you cant go without it should you tell?

I still think you should. Even if they don't understand why you can't stop, at least they'll be able to try and support you. I won't lie, at first you'll probably regret telling them, I hated it for the first 2 or 3 weeks that my parents found out, but after that when I started to get help, I was okay with them knowing about it for quite a few reasons. If you tell them it'll be easier for you to get help. Professionals understand why you can't just suddenly stop, so it would still be really good for you.

:hug3:

FullyAlive
October 19th, 2011, 12:43 PM
It's a really encouraging post :)

But my experience wasnt this either, I honestly think if my friends hadn't of told anyone my mother would never have found out. In 90% of cases parents find out, but I don't think it's inevitable although I would encourage telling them.

And again I still come up with reasons for covering up, my mother really doesn't seem to understand that even if I wasn't still cutting I'd have scars. So yeah I'd really advise telling them but prepare yourself this might not be their reaction.

xXl0sth0peXx
October 21st, 2011, 06:00 AM
This is a pretty legit post.. Good info..

I'll keep this in mind for if I ever do tell my parents.

AllThatYouDreamed
October 21st, 2011, 04:09 PM
Yeah. My dad knows. When I finally got with him again* he asked because he saw the scars up and around my arms.
Somehow, some way, someone's gonna find out.
Figuring out the scars aren't 'from the cat', hospital, finding tools and/or bandages.

If it's safe, I'd generally recommend you tell.




* (tl;dr my family, it's weird and I'll say a lot of things that don't make sense unless you know the WHOLE story)