Do you want to quit?

[Jupiter]

Do you want to quit cutting? Here is the step program I tried, please tell me if it works for you.
First of all, you have to realize you have problem that can be fixed, and you have to be willing 100% or this will not work.
Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.
Step two: Find a friend, preferably a friend in real life, to talk about everything.
Step three: Separate from everything that is triggering you if you can.
Step four: I you harmed anyone else, make amends.
Step five: After long whiles of meditation, find your happy place, that is a haven in your mind. This can help you when you are feeling the need to cut or self harm.
Step six: Find a new healthy SAFE hobby. IE: DO NOT PICK SOWING IF YOU ARE A CUTTER, AND DON'T START CAMPING IF YOU ARE A BURNER.
Step seven: Have a realization that you are no longer a self harmer, but you can still become one way easier than you quit.
Step eight: Spread this good news to other people who cut.
YOU HAVE NOW COMPLETED THE BURCH STEPS TO THE SELF HARMER. :)
If want to quit, and you promise to, write below...
I _______ pledge to take these steps, to do them to my maximum capacity, and to promise that I will not self harm during the process.

[secretly_secret]

Send it to me, although, I sorta don't want to stop.

[AlmostHomeless]

I want to quit. I hate cutting. If you think this can work, I'm interested.

[FullyAlive]

I'm sorry but why can't you write it in the thread?

I don't want to quit I'm just curious.

[Dimitri]

I'm sorry but why can't you write it in the thread?

I don't want to quit I'm just curious.
Same here, why would you keep something like this in hiding, if you have an idea I think you should be willing to share it with exeryone. Help is something that we all want but it sounds rather synical like if you are saying it like you did.

It reminds me of a Billy Mays commercial....
s3KEkBqDahg

[AlmostHomeless]

Last time I threw away all my sharp things I used a kitchen knife. Since it was much bigger than what I normally use I went way deeper than I normally do. It took almost all night to get the bleeding to stop.

[secretly_secret]

Last time I threw away all my sharp things I used a kitchen knife. Since it was much bigger than what I normally use I went way deeper than I normally do. It took almost all night to get the bleeding to stop.

Oh God that's bad. What are you using now?

[AlmostHomeless]

Oh God that's bad. What are you using now?

I take apart razors, so i don't use the normal razors that are an inch wide but the small ones that are only a couple millimeters thick since they come from disposable razors. This way I can only go so deep. I don't want to get rid of what I use because chances are I will find something else which will likely be dirty or unsafe to use. I figure if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it (more) safely.

[secretly_secret]

Hmm...

[Magenta]

Eric, I wrote a comment on your blog but I'll say it again here.

Some of these steps are unrealistic when it comes to stopping self-harming. While I see that you want to help, just read my comment. Step one especially. As Stephen mentioned, sometimes when tools are thrown out, we resort to much worse. Throwing out your tools is a big step and can take people YEARS to do.

My other criticisms were much smaller.

But it's nice to see you're so eager to help.

[secretly_secret]

I'm trying it. (although I'm being half forced to...) It's comin' out okay so far.

[Jupiter]

Eric, I wrote a comment on your blog but I'll say it again here.

Some of these steps are unrealistic when it comes to stopping self-harming. While I see that you want to help, just read my comment. Step one especially. As Stephen mentioned, sometimes when tools are thrown out, we resort to much worse. Throwing out your tools is a big step and can take people YEARS to do.

My other criticisms were much smaller.

But it's nice to see you're so eager to help.

I wrote back. I think you'll see my point.

[xdancing_for_rainx]

Eric, I wrote a comment on your blog but I'll say it again here.

Some of these steps are unrealistic when it comes to stopping self-harming. While I see that you want to help, just read my comment. Step one especially. As Stephen mentioned, sometimes when tools are thrown out, we resort to much worse. Throwing out your tools is a big step and can take people YEARS to do.

My other criticisms were much smaller.

But it's nice to see you're so eager to help.

First just kinda say- I'm not real interested in quitting at this point in time.
But have to agree... not sure how realistic this really is for everyone. Sure, it could work for some people, but just... don't know. And, take it that you don't self-harm. It's difficult to relate to (or help with) a problem you don't have. It's not that easy to quit. I've seen some of your other posts, and it's good you want to help... but sometimes things aren't so simple, or just don't work that way.

So yeah, not trying to be overly critical or anything. Think it's good you're trying to be helpful, but perhaps get more of an idea of the problem to increase the effectiveness of your efforts. Hopefully this can work for someone.

[ReasonsForWeeping]

I take apart razors, so i don't use the normal razors that are an inch wide but the small ones that are only a couple millimeters thick since they come from disposable razors. This way I can only go so deep. I don't want to get rid of what I use because chances are I will find something else which will likely be dirty or unsafe to use. I figure if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it (more) safely.

i do that too

[AlmostHomeless]

i do that too

Yeah my parents are a little suspicious since I go through them very quickly. I never knew razors would dull so quickly. I'm afraid I will use a box cutter if I throw them away. My dad has this shiny new box cutter that could cut inches deep if the blade was adjusted. I really don't want to lose my hand or bleed to death. I can't imagine how my parents would freak if they found me dead. Using new razors ensures that they are clean. As much as I want to throw them away, something worse will happen.

[secretly_secret]

Wait, you constantly go through razors? Isn't that just a waste of money, and suspicious? It is possible to sharpen things, you know.

[AlmostHomeless]

Wait, you constantly go through razors? Isn't that just a waste of money, and suspicious? It is possible to sharpen things, you know.

I can't sharpen razors. They are very small. I don't see any pictures online, but if you can imagine they are very small. Impossible to sharpen, but they are VERY sharp. I can never sharpen anything with a file to be sharper than a razor. They also dull quickly. That's one disadvantage. Though when compared to the advantages of using something I know is clean it's better in the long run.

[Jupiter]

Guys, please. This is a thread about quitting, and this conversation could be triggering to some people.

[AlmostHomeless]

Sorry about getting off topic.

[Jupiter]

It's all good.

[secretly_secret]

You know that I'm helpless, hopeless, and desperate, right?

[Amaryllis]

Firstly, +rep for trying and caring.


Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.
Quoting from my VM on your page:

I threw my blades out about a year ago. Then I killed myself with my eating disorders. Which was a lot worse than cutting. Then a couple months ago I tossed my scissors. And started using a knife. And when I have none of those, I bash my head on walls and bit myself.

When you're in enough pain, you'll find all sorts of terrible, insane ways to cope. I went through a phase when I sewed my skin. As in, needle, thread, sew. I would make criss-crosses all over. They were easy to hide cause they were just small little dots all over. My point is, some of us go through more than you can imagine. A lot of us have deeper, darker stories. My father sexually abused me when I was little and he still does. My mum's mentally unstable and I've been self-harming since I was 7 or 8. The only way to really protect someone is to put them in a rubber suit. And that's not possible.

Step two: Find a friend, preferably a friend in real life, to talk about everything.
I'd have to spend 15 years talking to them. A day for every day of pain I've ever felt. I'm sure a lot of the rest feel this way, too. There's too much pain for a single friend in real life to comprehend. When my mother found out, she was -furious-. She took all of my blades. That killed me. She threatened to take VT away.

Not everyone in real life will or even wants to understand. That's something you have to understand. Yes, a burden shared is a burden divided, but what about the person you give your burdens to? He or she will have extra. (But y'all feel free to leave me a message, yeah? I'm bulletproof ;P)

Step three: Separate from everything that is triggering you if you can.
I'd have to be an orphan. And I'll have to disassociate from myself for the rest of my life. And quit school. And stop talking to human beings and live with toads in a pond.

Eric, often what's triggering us are our parents. It's often the people we trust most who hurt us. And we are almost always our own worst enemies. Seeing myself in the mirror, hell, walking around being my ugly self, is triggering.

What we have to do is learn to cope with that's triggering. Not remove ourselves completely from society and ourselves.

Step four: I you harmed anyone else, make amends.
Is this self-harm or people harm? Sweetheart, I'm not apologising to my father for telling him I hate him.

Life is hurt. People are gonna get hurt. They need to learn to cope, just as we do. Not being harsh here but nobody can help you except yourself. We can push you forwards a little but we can't carry you all the way up the escalator. You gotta run up with your own brute strength and determination.

This applies to everyone.

Step five: After long whiles of meditation, find your happy place, that is a haven in your mind. This can help you when you are feeling the need to cut or self harm.
Ooohhh man, my hypnotherapist did this. Does not work. Cutting's impulsive, it'll be a miracle if you can think rationally when you're desperate for a release.

I recommend shredding paper. Anyone who's ever really talked to me on Skype will know I do it like it's a friggin lifeline. Gotta keep 'em hands busy. *wink wink* No....

Step six: Find a new healthy SAFE hobby. IE: DO NOT PICK SOWING IF YOU ARE A CUTTER, AND DON'T START CAMPING IF YOU ARE A BURNER.
Like I've said before. You can bite, scratch, hit. The only way to protect someone who really wants to hurt themselves is to put them in a rubber suit.

Step seven: Have a realization that you are no longer a self harmer, but you can still become one way easier than you quit.
I didn't cut for a year. But that's cause my EDs kept me busy. Then I relapsed.

You gotta heal mentally, not just physically. You can take the blades away from the cutter, but you can't take the cutter away from the blades.

Step eight: Spread this good news to other people who cut.
Just because you've succeeded doesn't mean everyone else will. Everyone's different and everyone does things and heals differently and recovers at their own pace.

They gotta find their own way out, with gentle but persistent care. It's a slow process. Not a step-by-step guide. It takes months, years, decades, to recover.

Hope I wasn't too harsh here. Like I said in your VMs, you're genuine and you're really trying hard to help but some things are incredibly hard to understand unless you've been through it yourself.

Love,
Faith and Trust

[secretly_secret]

Okay, so everyone has flaws. I think you guys are being to hard on Eric for trying to help us. Take it easy, guys, and be nice.

[Bath]

I think this was really sweet Eric.

Do I want to quit? No. Do I need to? Yes. I think focusing on wanting to quit is the most important step before anything else. I'm just trying to figure that out, because honestly right now, I don't want to stop this.

[Jupiter]

I think this was really sweet Eric.

Do I want to quit? No. Do I need to? Yes. I think focusing on wanting to quit is the most important step before anything else. I'm just trying to figure that out, because honestly right now, I don't want to stop this.

And, basically, you will come to a time when you realize, you want to quit. But you have to be 100% ready.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

Oookay. So I'm gonna pick this apart, this isn't the only way.

Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.
At least for myself, having my knife is a comfort object. I feel better if I have it on me. If I don't, I'm more likely to find other means to cut.
Step three: Separate from everything that is triggering you if you can.
Lol. This is called staying away from life.
Step five: After long whiles of meditation, find your happy place, that is a haven in your mind. This can help you when you are feeling the need to cut or self harm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to calm down a panicked mind? If no, don't try to tell me how to.
Step seven: Have a realization that you are no longer a self harmer, but you can still become one way easier than you quit.
Whut...?
Step eight: Spread this good news to other people who cut.
YOU HAVE NOW COMPLETED THE BURCH STEPS TO THE SELF HARMER. :)
This sounds like "spread the word of Jesus" here. Seriously.

There are other ways to quit cutting, don't peddle yours like it's the only.

[Jupiter]

There are other ways to quit cutting, don't peddle yours like it's the only.

Oh. I guess it was time for people to start hating. That's cool. Oh, and by the way, I never said mine was the best way.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

"YOU HAVE NOW COMPLETED THE BURCH STEPS TO THE SELF HARMER. :)"
You sound like Billy Mays

[Shenron]

Look, I realize that the steps Eric has outlined here are not the only ones around. I also realize that they may not be realistic for some or maybe even most. What I don't understand is why you are beating him up for trying to help and showing he cares. VT is not about cutting people down, it is about building people up. I'm not trying to sound like a holy roller here, believe me I'm far from it, but I just think you could be a little more considerate to the OP when he is clearly trying to help people.

Back on topic: I appreciate what you are trying to do Eric. Thank you for the advice.

[Jupiter]

Well, these are close to the steps I took when I had to quit smoking, so I assumed that it would be the same. I guess that's what I get.

[Shenron]

Well, these are close to the steps I took when I had to quit smoking, so I assumed that it would be the same. I guess that's what I get.

Oh no, not at all. Cutting and smoking are nothing alike. Sure they are both addictions and ways of coping, but the mental game is nothing alike. Still, your intentions were pure.

[secretly_secret]

I keep trying this, then going, "no, just one little cut won't count" and then throwing away needles, then buying more...
I think this can work. I am just still trying to figure out how.

[Syvelocin]

Not hating, just commenting that...


Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.


Is the last thing a lot of people should do.

Excluding myself, I've seen some very desperate people in hospitals ripping up their arms with staples, screws, fingernails, pencils, pieces of mirror, etc. or even smuggling tools in their mouths, or... ah. In other places. Well, I've only smuggled things in my mouth, don't worry. If a self-harmer is dead-set on cutting, not having their tools won't stop them. I'd rather people kept their own probably more sanitary tools than get to that point. Like the hospitals providing drug users with sanitary needles. At least they're not using infected ones.

And at this point, if I don't need it any more, great. If I want to, I do so. Great role model, I am, I know. I don't actually cut as much as I used to now. After I just stopped trying to stop and started focusing on improving the quality of my life and how I reacted to situations, I found I wanted to cut less than I used to. Not because I was conquering self-harm, but because I just didn't need it. And once I don't feel the need any more, then I won't self-harm. Like a child's attachment to a blanket or toy, or thumb-sucking. Most of the time, I guess. Works for me anyway.

[Nevermore]

As Rith has said above and being one of those people who were desperate I snuck razors in during day patient, and as far as inpatient goes I broke the beads we made in OP and used it, as well as used fingernails and so many other things I found.
I want to quit, but I give in to my temptations because I feel like I can't live without it.

[LonelyOleander]

Do you want to quit cutting? Here is the step program I tried, please tell me if it works for you.
First of all, you have to realize you have problem that can be fixed, and you have to be willing 100% or this will not work.
Step one: Throw away all things that you harm yourself with.
Step two: Find a friend, preferably a friend in real life, to talk about everything.
Step three: Separate from everything that is triggering you if you can.
Step four: I you harmed anyone else, make amends.
Step five: After long whiles of meditation, find your happy place, that is a haven in your mind. This can help you when you are feeling the need to cut or self harm.
Step six: Find a new healthy SAFE hobby. IE: DO NOT PICK SOWING IF YOU ARE A CUTTER, AND DON'T START CAMPING IF YOU ARE A BURNER.
Step seven: Have a realization that you are no longer a self harmer, but you can still become one way easier than you quit.
Step eight: Spread this good news to other people who cut.
YOU HAVE NOW COMPLETED THE BURCH STEPS TO THE SELF HARMER. :)
If want to quit, and you promise to, write below...
I _______ pledge to take these steps, to do them to my maximum capacity, and to promise that I will not self harm during the process.

It's great and all, but I can't tell friends. And I think my trigger is my parents, mostly my mom. I'm trying to quit. I didn't cut yesterday! :yeah:

[Donkey]

OP request :locked: