help please?

[princessjess]

okay so theres this guy. and basicaly, me n him were in love.( and i know that most of you will think im just being a "silly lovestruck teen" but ive had a bit of a rough time the past decade and i know what love feels like and i know i was in love with him and he said he knew he was in love with me). and then i moved. we had been kinda off and on (my fault) for about 7 months and then i moved 600 miles away. and it devastated us both but we said we both wanted to try a long distance realtionship. and i trusted him. so after about 3 weeks he asked me to marry him(i know were teens but like i said, we were in love) so we were engaged and alot happened with him and his family and he started changing. he started drawing away from me and eventually i brok off our engagement. he said he didnt want to break up thoguh so we stayed together. and after awhile we ended up being egaged again. by then we had been together over 10 months, and more things started happeneing with his family and it was getting harder and harder for him to cope without me(i was his absolute best friend and knew him inside and out) but then he cheated on me. he couldnt handle dating someone and not being able to hug, hold or even just be around that person(me). and it crushed me. i almost started cutting again. but anyways, in 3 days it will have been exactly 2 months and im still not over him. hes not over me either but it desnt help me any just makes me hang on tighter to the hope of being with him again. and i know this has been a huge word wall for you to read but if anyone has any tips on how i could get over hiim without completely stopping talking to hmi. because i tried that and i fell into a deep depression, so any ideas or tips?:confused:

[Jupiter]

Sounds kinda like what happened to me. Except, I really didn't move... but, I am so sorry this happened. You can add me and then write on my wall, if you need help. okay?

[princessjess]

Sounds kinda like what happened to me. Except, I really didn't move... but, I am so sorry this happened. You can add me and then write on my wall, if you need help. okay?

thanks, i will(:

[Kujiro]

For starters, a long distance relationship is really tough to maintain, and even adults have a problem coping with them, what more us.
Although there are successful stories, but being the age we are now, breakups are common, as we meet different people in life, perspectives and goals would be different.

Although true that absence makes the heart grows fonder, but being in a relationship where the person is not really there, does not really help in growing the relationship either.

You mentioned he cheated on you, but you have to understand his position as well.
Im not defending him, neither blaming him, but looking at a larger picture.
Attempting to keep a long distance relationship was just a frail attempt to keep what is about to be lost.
Sorry to say, the both of you are lying to yourselves.

Technically, its impossible to forget the person, but as time heals wounds, one would grow to move on.
Accepting that what has happened is in the past and lead a new romance.
Factually hes not the only guy in this world, like you are not the only girl in his life.
Its always eazier said than done.

At the end of the day, its by acceptance you would get over him, opening your heart to other opportunities and focusing on whats important in front of you should be your primary focus now. i.e studies.

Advise can only bring you thus far, what happens next depends truly on yourself, and only you and you alone can make the world a happier place for yourself.

Good luck
*smile*

[princessjess]

For starters, a long distance relationship is really tough to maintain, and even adults have a problem coping with them, what more us.
Although there are successful stories, but being the age we are now, breakups are common, as we meet different people in life, perspectives and goals would be different.

Although true that absence makes the heart grows fonder, but being in a relationship where the person is not really there, does not really help in growing the relationship either.

You mentioned he cheated on you, but you have to understand his position as well.
Im not defending him, neither blaming him, but looking at a larger picture.
Attempting to keep a long distance relationship was just a frail attempt to keep what is about to be lost.
Sorry to say, the both of you are lying to yourselves.

Technically, its impossible to forget the person, but as time heals wounds, one would grow to move on.
Accepting that what has happened is in the past and lead a new romance.
Factually hes not the only guy in this world, like you are not the only girl in his life.
Its always eazier said than done.

At the end of the day, its by acceptance you would get over him, opening your heart to other opportunities and focusing on whats important in front of you should be your primary focus now. i.e studies.

Advise can only bring you thus far, what happens next depends truly on yourself, and only you and you alone can make the world a happier place for yourself.

Good luck
*smile*

i never asked for you to tell me that long distance doesnt work. or to talk about what happens at our age. ive already figured out long distance. i did a long time ago. but it was his idea to try it. i never said anything about being mad at him for cheating either. and u cant say that there is any justification in it though. he could have left me before he got a new gf. (im pretty sure i did give i reason why he did though and ever said anything mean about him for it though) i just wanted advice on how to get over him. dont tell me what i already know
thanks for the advice u did give though.

sorry if i sound a bit bitchy but im tired of hearing the same things over and over(the whole reason i asked the question how i did) so please, if you answer a question of mine again will u just answer the question? i dont have the patience to listen to someone tell me things i figured ut for myself awhile ago.
thankyou(:
jessica



p.s.
im not lying to myself about anything. i have accepted what has happened and havent lied to myself about anything. not quite sure what i could lie to myself about on this?

[Kujiro]

Firstly, we dont know what you already know.

You ask a question on how to get over someone, and the way you are putting it, is as if the points are not interrelated.

You were not being bitchy, hence there was no apology needed. I stated my advise based on what you have displayed in your post, and my understanding of your post. not by what is in your knowledge and whats not.

If you wish to have more defined answers next time you make a post, inform the readers what you know. Im sure it will stream down the answers to fit.

Good luck
*smile*

[Donkey]

i never asked for you to tell me that long distance doesnt work. or to talk about what happens at our age. ive already figured out long distance. i did a long time ago. but it was his idea to try it. i never said anything about being mad at him for cheating either. and u cant say that there is any justification in it though. he could have left me before he got a new gf. (im pretty sure i did give i reason why he did though and ever said anything mean about him for it though) i just wanted advice on how to get over him. dont tell me what i already know
When you post a thread, the answers are written specifically for you: members don't have to do this. If you don't want to be grateful and gracious when you accept the advice and instead flame/troll other users, you will find yourself in trouble in the future.

[tylerd001]

Well what i can say about that cause i had that happen to me before with my ex. What i can say is that you can just find someone new that wont cheat or hurt you. I hate people who are like that so i wouldnt do that. But getting over him without talking to him would be the bestest thing.

[Spook]

okay so theres this guy. and basicaly, me n him were in love.( and i know that most of you will think im just being a "silly lovestruck teen" but ive had a bit of a rough time the past decade and i know what love feels like and i know i was in love with him and he said he knew he was in love with me). and then i moved. we had been kinda off and on (my fault) for about 7 months and then i moved 600 miles away. and it devastated us both but we said we both wanted to try a long distance realtionship. and i trusted him. so after about 3 weeks he asked me to marry him(i know were teens but like i said, we were in love) so we were engaged and alot happened with him and his family and he started changing. he started drawing away from me and eventually i brok off our engagement. he said he didnt want to break up thoguh so we stayed together. and after awhile we ended up being egaged again. by then we had been together over 10 months, and more things started happeneing with his family and it was getting harder and harder for him to cope without me(i was his absolute best friend and knew him inside and out) but then he cheated on me. he couldnt handle dating someone and not being able to hug, hold or even just be around that person(me). and it crushed me. i almost started cutting again. but anyways, in 3 days it will have been exactly 2 months and im still not over him. hes not over me either but it desnt help me any just makes me hang on tighter to the hope of being with him again. and i know this has been a huge word wall for you to read but if anyone has any tips on how i could get over hiim without completely stopping talking to hmi. because i tried that and i fell into a deep depression, so any ideas or tips?:confused:

I completely empathize. Everybody's always saying "You don't know what love is, you're just a kid." But I think we understand more than adults think...and we make less dumb decisions about it than most adults do. We haven't gone blind and deaf yet! :P

In all seriousness, I know it's hard. But even though you are miles away, think about what he is going through. It was wrong that he cheated on you...but he is going through alot...family problems, etc. I recommend that you go slower and not rush into things--engagement, marriage, you know. Remain his friend, and try your best to talk to him about what he's going through. Help pull him out of the rough seas, then think about diving deeper together.

Jeesh. Too deep for me. :D

[Shenron]

Well, like Caitlin said, think about what he is going through. He is having just as tough a time as you. You are not alone in your pain. Whenever you get down or feel bad, remember why you are no longer together. While I know people make mistakes and some of us readily forgive those mistakes, it is hard to forgive what he did. If you truly still want to be with him, talk to him about it.

Now, I must give my honest opinion of the situation. I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to. This is the exact reason why people our age have no business dating. We get hurt. People our age do not realize how much they can hurt us and a lot of them don't care if they do hurt us. You say you were in love, I say you were in denial.

[princessjess]

I completely empathize. Everybody's always saying "You don't know what love is, you're just a kid." But I think we understand more than adults think...and we make less dumb decisions about it than most adults do. We haven't gone blind and deaf yet! :P

In all seriousness, I know it's hard. But even though you are miles away, think about what he is going through. It was wrong that he cheated on you...but he is going through alot...family problems, etc. I recommend that you go slower and not rush into things--engagement, marriage, you know. Remain his friend, and try your best to talk to him about what he's going through. Help pull him out of the rough seas, then think about diving deeper together.

Jeesh. Too deep for me. :D
thanks(:

[princessjess]

Well, like Caitlin said, think about what he is going through. He is having just as tough a time as you. You are not alone in your pain. Whenever you get down or feel bad, remember why you are no longer together. While I know people make mistakes and some of us readily forgive those mistakes, it is hard to forgive what he did. If you truly still want to be with him, talk to him about it.

Now, I must give my honest opinion of the situation. I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to. This is the exact reason why people our age have no business dating. We get hurt. People our age do not realize how much they can hurt us and a lot of them don't care if they do hurt us. You say you were in love, I say you were in denial.

how was i in denial?