I don't know. Help.

[Bath]

Wasn't sure where to put this, in this part of the forum or cutting/self harm, guess it could go in either.

I need serious help. I need serious advice. I'm covered in cuts and bruises that I've given myself, I've been so suicidal lately it's getting very scary, I'm so lucky I have no other pills in the house other than a few Tylenol or else I would've attempted OD'ing already. I've been having panic attacks where I can't stop screaming into my pillow, I'll go into these intense daydreams and act out around me what's going on. I don't know what to do and I'm going through hell.

The only help for me would be going to the mental health hospital again. My case manager is not doing any fucking help finding me a therapist, and even if she does I think I need more serious help. I'm not alright.

But I have no clue how to tell my mom this. I've been hiding my freak outs and cutting so well, she thinks I'm perfectly fine, happy even. I know I'd miss a lot of school too, and I don't know if I can afford that.

I don't know what I should do and I'm crying so much and I just want to get help because I've been trying to suppress it on my own but it won't go away and I'm so afraid of killing myself. My panic attacks are getting worse and I'm not eating and I don't know.

I don't know how I should tell my mom she needs to drive me to the hospital again. I don't know how I should tell her that even though she thinks I've been doing perfectly fine, I'm not, and I'm suicidal and need serious help.

I don't know.

[Funkapotamus]

I think at this point, your mom is your best friend. So just push the thought that she is your mom, out of your head and tell her what you're going through. Writing a note and sticking it in a place where she will notice and read it, could be the bridge to getting her into your world. Telling someone face to face your fears and deepest feelings is a bit daunting, especially if they're you're parent. So writing could be he easiest leap. But I do think going to her for her advice would be a great start.

[ryantombs]

i agree with the above poster i think if you seriously want to get help and stuff you need your mother in this situation... it seems like she loves you and cares for you so i think if you tell her either face to face or by note i think will help wonders cause in the shes your mother she will help you she loves you dont hide it you can do this <3