Many questions on our friendship...

[Skeptical Bear]

I met this one guy over Xbox in a game. We got to know each other pretty well and we found out that we have a lot in common. Our friendship built up through the months and he was really good friend. I had a lot of trust in him and I have told him all my "deep" secrets and so has he and we accept each other. Now, since he's a been a great friend, I'd get him stuff here and there like Microsoft Points and I once gave him 2 of my games with a web camera. With me giving him all this stuff. He went through this phase where he started to like me in a sexual way and so did I. We were aware of it. It was like this for a month or two. We'd text each other saying dirty things and do other stuff. As of now, he's changed. He gets uncomfortable when I say or do all that stuff. He also told me he was straight before all this happened. I've stopped texting him all that dirty stuff. The problem is, I still like him. I want to know why he acts so differently now. Another problem I have with him now is that he'd get mad at me for the smallest things and say fucked up shit to me. He would tell me that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore over a private match in a game or other stupid shit. He has told me that he has anger issues but I don't think that's the problem. I told him that I'm not going to leave him no matter what and he keeps disrespecting me and never apologizes. He doesn't tell me what's wrong and I want to know. I'm not going to lose him as a friend over all this bullshit. If someone can please read this carefully and have some idea of what might be wrong. I'm so confused over this. As of now he's barely talking to me because I did something to him and I don't know what I did. He doesn't want to tell me. Please help and thank you. :)

[StoppingTime]

I think he now realizes that all of the sexual stuff you guys were talking about is making him feel uncomfortable now. He may not be OK with bing bi/gay, some people are like that. It is probably best to stop asking him for that stuff right now. Maybe tell him your not interested in him sexually to get him to tell you whats wrong? I think this may have been caused by hormones during puberty, but he stopped now. He may not feel comfortable with what you did in the past, and wished it never happened. I would try to put all that stuff behind you, get him to talk to you somehow, and try and take it from there.

Good Luck and keep us posted,

~StoppingTime/Steve

[DerBear]

Hi StoppingTime nailed this on the head.

The dirty and sex texts were probably a good idea at the time for him as sure as hell he was probably horny and now he either has relaised the possiblity of being gay or bi and is now trying to back away perhaps its best to let him do this. Give him some time to relax and give him space, maybe he feels giulity over this sexting and he does not want to do it.

The mood swings hes having are to do with guilt and regret as he could be gay or bi but I think he is just curious as if he was full out gay or bi chances are he would not feel so guilty. There is also the possiblity of this as a clear message to stay away, and I would stay away for now as I think its the best option to do so as he could block you (Does xbox have an option to block I assume so).

Give him some space for now and dont ask for his stuff. Also change details you gave him for things like your account and stuff like that as right now when people are in that kinda mood you never know what he could do.

Give him some space to relax I suggest at least a week minimum and or wait for him to come to you.

In the end it could be best for a delete but for know only time will tell and as I said relax for now and give him some space.

Keep us posted

SilverWolf

[Shenron]

SilverWolf and StoppingTime made some good points here. The thing is, you met him over Xbox LIVE. I'm not sure what led to the sexual feelings but if I had to guess I would say that it was just hormones. I think he feels that you are being a little pushy with your feelings for him. I would back off for a little bit and give him some room. Let him cool down for a bit and then try and talk to him. Tell him you are sorry for being pushy and that you just want to be friends.

[spires]

he prob was curious and did his experimenting it be best to say fuck him find another friend aint there idk a billion people in this pethetic world

[Skeptical Bear]

Thank you for the responses. It was actually the other way around. He'd want me to do certain stuff that I was comfortable with but he'd get a bit pushy at times. I'd have certain things in mind but since he said he was straight but still attracted to me, I'd keep it to my self. This all happened a few months ago. As soon as I found out it bothered him I stopped doing the dirty stuff with him. I am being a pushy on the fact that he doesn't want to talk to me. I texted him the other day and asked him why does he not want to talk to me, and he just responded back with a period. I asked him why he didn't want to tell me and he said "omg" I stopped from there and told him to forget it. Him not wanting to talk to me stems back from when we were on the phone and like usual, the call drops. I guessed he hunf up so I went to go talk to my mom and we speak in Spanish since my mom doesn't know any English. He's American and doesn't like it when we speak Spanish. Point is, he called me while I was speaking in Spanish and me knowing he does't like that, I didn't pick up and decided I'd call him when I was finished. I get text of him saying he doesn't want to be my friend and I tried to explain to him and he didn't care. Him telling me that he didn't want to be my friend or didn't want to talk to me, happened many times. I don't think he'll be wanting to come back when it's the last straw. Things got better now but it isn't how it was back then, and I'm not speaking about the sexual part, but how we were close and friendly. He actually texted me a little while ago and we had a samll convo. He seems fine.. Spires, it's not that easy to just say fuck it. He's been a good ass friend to me and I'm not letting that go because of a small situation. I don't end a relationship or friendship over a few negative memories against a million positive ones. Just becuase he's my best friend I'm not gonna expect him to be a perfect friend. He's human.

[Shenron]

I understand that completely, but when I said you were being a bit pushy, I was referring to you asking him what made him angry. My guess is he knows he reacted irrationally and he didn't want to admit it, so he would get mad when you would ask hoping you would stop asking. If you are talking to each other again then that is a good thing, give it some time and hopefully everything will get back to normal.

[Perseus]

Thank you for the responses. It was actually the other way around. He'd want me to do certain stuff that I was comfortable with but he'd get a bit pushy at times. I'd have certain things in mind but since he said he was straight but still attracted to me, I'd keep it to my self. This all happened a few months ago. As soon as I found out it bothered him I stopped doing the dirty stuff with him. I am being a pushy on the fact that he doesn't want to talk to me. I texted him the other day and asked him why does he not want to talk to me, and he just responded back with a period. I asked him why he didn't want to tell me and he said "omg" I stopped from there and told him to forget it. Him not wanting to talk to me stems back from when we were on the phone and like usual, the call drops. I guessed he hunf up so I went to go talk to my mom and we speak in Spanish since my mom doesn't know any English. He's American and doesn't like it when we speak Spanish. Point is, he called me while I was speaking in Spanish and me knowing he does't like that, I didn't pick up and decided I'd call him when I was finished. I get text of him saying he doesn't want to be my friend and I tried to explain to him and he didn't care. Him telling me that he didn't want to be my friend or didn't want to talk to me, happened many times. I don't think he'll be wanting to come back when it's the last straw. Things got better now but it isn't how it was back then, and I'm not speaking about the sexual part, but how we were close and friendly. He actually texted me a little while ago and we had a samll convo. He seems fine.. Spires, it's not that easy to just say fuck it. He's been a good ass friend to me and I'm not letting that go because of a small situation. I don't end a relationship or friendship over a few negative memories against a million positive ones. Just becuase he's my best friend I'm not gonna expect him to be a perfect friend. He's human.
Don't talk to him for a while. Just let him get all cool and collected and maybe after a couple of days, to your discretion, I would say try again. And if he doesn't respond or is an ass, in all honesty, I'd say you should stop talking to him all together. And it's obvious you don't want to do that, but there is a possibility that that is what the outcome can be.

[Skeptical Bear]

Thank you. I was talking to him on the phone a while ago. I hate to admit it but he was being a dick. He just kept saying all this shit to me. I was trying to do my homework. He was calling me slow, retarded. If he got killed in a game, he'd say that they were as bad as me and I didn't deserve anything. I can understand that these are words that someone can take in and be like "who gives a shit", but when it comes from someone who you're close to and you least expect them to hurt you in anyway, it hurts inside. When we were on Xbox, one of his friends joined. I see that he joins the party all the time but he doesn't have a mic and neither do I or my friend. Now, I ask my friend why does he invite him all the time when he doesn't talk to him, he's just there, and he said that he's been there for him, he doesn't ask him a bunch a questions, he isn't retarded, etc.. Basically he was comparing him to me. What bothered me the most was when he made it seem like I was never there for him. It made my fucking heart sank. I've done many things for him that I believe no one would do for someone they just met. I do ask a lot of questions but if you're going to act suspicious and be an asshole for a reason I'm not aware of, then I have to ask a bunch a questions. I never know what to do when I talk to him. He seems like he's in a bad mood all the time and a question like "What game mode are you playing?" will piss him off. I sound like a little bitch complaining about all this but I wanted to see what was wrong. It's still somewhat a mystery. He calls me again after he hung up for a little while. He asks me if I was okay. I just said yeah so I wouldn't make a scene out of the whole shit. He seemed fine this time. I hate being too nice with people I become close with. I end up being stepped on like always. I just take all this and keep it inside because I believe He'll change after High School. I'm scared of telling him that I don't want to be his friend. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading my long responses everyone. I would've made this so much shorter if I knew how to but I didn't. I can't even explain this in a sentence.

[Skeptical Bear]

I understand that completely, but when I said you were being a bit pushy, I was referring to you asking him what made him angry. My guess is he knows he reacted irrationally and he didn't want to admit it, so he would get mad when you would ask hoping you would stop asking. If you are talking to each other again then that is a good thing, give it some time and hopefully everything will get back to normal.
Yeah, I was. I was just confused but I see what to do now. Thanks.

[Perseus]

Thank you. I was talking to him on the phone a while ago. I hate to admit it but he was being a dick. He just kept saying all this shit to me. I was trying to do my homework. He was calling me slow, retarded. If he got killed in a game, he'd say that they were as bad as me and I didn't deserve anything. I can understand that these are words that someone can take in and be like "who gives a shit", but when it comes from someone who you're close to and you least expect them to hurt you in anyway, it hurts inside. When we were on Xbox, one of his friends joined. I see that he joins the party all the time but he doesn't have a mic and neither do I or my friend. Now, I ask my friend why does he invite him all the time when he doesn't talk to him, he's just there, and he said that he's been there for him, he doesn't ask him a bunch a questions, he isn't retarded, etc.. Basically he was comparing him to me. What bothered me the most was when he made it seem like I was never there for him. It made my fucking heart sank. I've done many things for him that I believe no one would do for someone they just met. I do ask a lot of questions but if you're going to act suspicious and be an asshole for a reason I'm not aware of, then I have to ask a bunch a questions. I never know what to do when I talk to him. He seems like he's in a bad mood all the time and a question like "What game mode are you playing?" will piss him off. I sound like a little bitch complaining about all this but I wanted to see what was wrong. It's still somewhat a mystery. He calls me again after he hung up for a little while. He asks me if I was okay. I just said yeah so I wouldn't make a scene out of the whole shit. He seemed fine this time. I hate being too nice with people I become close with. I end up being stepped on like always. I just take all this and keep it inside because I believe He'll change after High School. I'm scared of telling him that I don't want to be his friend. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading my long responses everyone. I would've made this so much shorter if I knew how to but I didn't. I can't even explain this in a sentence.

In all honesty, he doesn't seem like he cares about you all that much. Just don't talk to him for a while and see what happens.

[Skeptical Bear]

We started talking again. He's normal but not completely. I can tell now that what brings him to be a dick is his anger issues. He told me that he had them since a very young age and what it possibly is I think is that he would get mad over something and maybe something I'd do would blow his top off. I'm not sure but we're fine for now. Thanks for the help guys.

[StoppingTime]

We started talking again. He's normal but not completely. I can tell now that what brings him to be a dick is his anger issues. He told me that he had them since a very young age and what it possibly is I think is that he would get mad over something and maybe something I'd do would blow his top off. I'm not sure but we're fine for now. Thanks for the help guys.

Like I said before, don't bring up any of those topics from your past. If he really does have anger problems, then you need to respect that. It can be hard for some people to get their emotions out in ways you want them too. Just don't push him, and you guys may be able to be like before, without the sex stuff.


Good Luck!

[Hajara22]

sounds like ppl have it summed up. good luck. it will work out

[Skeptical Bear]

Thank you.