A year on.

[FullyAlive]

I'm having a really bad time. Next wednesday it's a year since I lost my uncle, and that whole week last year had different events happen which idk changed my life in it's entirety.

I'm not going to pretend this year hasn't been hard, it's been extremely difficult. But eventually I started to improve, I even made a whole month without cutting at one point.

But now I feel like I'm back there. I'm crying all the time, I just want to throttle anyone who talks to me. Literally some of my closest friends will ask how I am, and I just want to kill them. I keep cutting taking it all out on myself. Although that's not helping as it should do anymore. I can't sleep properly. I either oversleep or undersleep either way I'm always tired, even at school I'll literally sleep in the common room.

I feel like it's a year ago, only I can't pull myself up this time. It took so much out of me to even get a little bit better last time. I just can't do it again. I just want to close my eyes, sleep and never wake up.

I want someone to help me, but no one can.

[ryantombs]

Hey i might be able to help i kno one way many people ease the pain of losing a loved one is by talking about the memories they had (dads a funeral director) he talks to many people
And one thing sweetie your uncle is up in heaven watching over you every minute of every hour of everyday he loves yu and he will always be right there next to you in your heart
If you want you can msg me or something we can talk on here im always availible
Keep up the strength
Love,
Ryan

[Funkapotamus]

one way many people ease the pain of losing a loved one is by talking about the memories they had

Seriously this. ^ Try not to delve on the bad thing, but to reminisce on the good times and it will be an eventual positive enlightenment. It's nothing easy to go through, but if you talk to those you love about him, you'll find yourself growing happier and and probably having a greater admiration for him.

[PureReality]

I'm having a really bad time. Next wednesday it's a year since I lost my uncle, and that whole week last year had different events happen which idk changed my life in it's entirety.

I'm not going to pretend this year hasn't been hard, it's been extremely difficult. But eventually I started to improve, I even made a whole month without cutting at one point.

But now I feel like I'm back there. I'm crying all the time, I just want to throttle anyone who talks to me. Literally some of my closest friends will ask how I am, and I just want to kill them. I keep cutting taking it all out on myself. Although that's not helping as it should do anymore. I can't sleep properly. I either oversleep or undersleep either way I'm always tired, even at school I'll literally sleep in the common room.

I feel like it's a year ago, only I can't pull myself up this time. It took so much out of me to even get a little bit better last time. I just can't do it again. I just want to close my eyes, sleep and never wake up.

I want someone to help me, but no one can.

I understand what you are going through. First, to feel any better then you are, you need a more constructive way of getting rid of these excess emotions. Self-harm is definitely not something that will help you in the long run. Of course, it is a long road but you have to pull through; try journalling, drawing, sketching, listening to music (listen to Harvard & Blue October :yeah:), even an emotional breakdown. Just don't fall into self-harm. It's not pretty, and it's really sad.

Depression goes away, but for it to go away, you must help yourself, and then allow help from others. Did you know, people who eat a banana a day actually feel better? Even people that are going through depression? Crazy, but true.

You can't get help from others, unless you help yourself. Loss is just a part of this world, and it is inevitable and you must accept that - no matter how challenging it is. It's just like the RE-cycle of life, passing on, and being born again, living an even happier life (of course depending on your past deeds). Maybe you'll meet up with that uncle in the next life, you never know.

Death is kind of like a goodbye until next time. It's a bitter-sweet thing. I know you can pull out of this. Really consider journalling. :yes:


Wow...speaking of Blue October...you really need to look up this song, actually, I'll give you a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoJQNk934hA

It's beautiful.

[PureReality]

Also this song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWcKB8tLrEs

[Funkapotamus]

Might I add that first song you posted the link to is pretty good and tells a very true beautiful story. Good post :)

[PureReality]

Might I add that first song you posted the link to is pretty good and tells a very true beautiful story. Good post :)

Thank you. ^^
They are amazing!

[FullyAlive]

I understand what you are going through. First, to feel any better then you are, you need a more constructive way of getting rid of these excess emotions. Self-harm is definitely not something that will help you in the long run. Of course, it is a long road but you have to pull through; try journalling, drawing, sketching, listening to music (listen to Harvard & Blue October :yeah:), even an emotional breakdown. Just don't fall into self-harm. It's not pretty, and it's really sad.

Mhm your advice is good and appreciated but I "fell into self harm" long before he died and it's just my way of coping. Drawing and things even listening to music just doesn't help me. And emotional breakdowns make me feel a hell of a lot worse. But thank you. And I'll listen to that song too.

Hey i might be able to help i kno one way many people ease the pain of losing a loved one is by talking about the memories they had (dads a funeral director) he talks to many people

It's not the grief I'm struggling with at least I don't think it is right now, I had a rough time naturally but I do talk about him, we refer to him in our lives and he's not going to just be forgotten about. He's still part of my life in a good way. But thankyou I know talking about him is good.


Okay when I wrote this I think I went about it wrong. I'm not having trouble grieving my counsellor said I am going through normal grief. My problem is I've reverted back to myself a year ago which just happens to be when he died it was the trigger not the cause. Anyway as I said I did manage to move on a bit from where I was, however I've gone backwards instead of a step forward I've just taken steps back. And I guess I'm asking why I should bother again. It took so much time, effort, and so many breakdowns to even move a tiny bit forwards. Why should I bother again? If im just going to get thrown back here?

[ryantombs]

because you want to be happy you want to laugh and smile... you want to love and be loved and you have to tell yourself you can do it... heres a quote that i was always told... the man who says he can and the man who says he cant are both right. meaning... just tell yourself you will get through it and convince yourself you will... many of lifes mishaps can be fixed just by being mentally tough you can do it just believe and stay strong

also watch this video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPsnqwmn21g&feature=fvst
i know its 9 minutes but honestly best 9 minutes of my life