Do we really know?

[HollisterrBboyy]

You see kids who are from 13-16 who claim to be gay, or bi, or straight, but by these ages, do we actually know our sexual preference? Is it simply our hormones talking? I'm really curious. One day I will have an attraction to women, and the next to a man, but the attraction to women is always there. Also, I'm not positive if people choose to be gay or heterosexual. I mean, I personally think you choose who you are. Before you get mad, listen to this. True, most boys are curious about other boys, but is it just our hormones, and if we therefore choose to entertain homosexual thoughts, doesn't that make us choosing to be gay? Granted their will POSSIBLY always be an attraction to the same sex, BUT by choosing to follow those attractions, doesn't that mean we are then choosing to be homosexual? The same applies towards to heterosexuality. Please answer. I'm really curious on this subject. Thank you.

[Donkey]

I never really had much attraction to the opposite sex. And if I "entertain" sexual thoughts for the same sex, then surely that's just the natural way to go about it if those are the stronger feelings? I don't think homosexuality is a choice - nature vs. nurture is a more interesting idea, on the other hand.

Puberty For Boys -> Teen Sexuality

[Syvelocin]

I'll share once more, that I think gender is an attraction. Like hair colour, skin tone, etc. Therefore hormones, irrelevant. Unless we are talking pure sexual desire without physical and emotional attraction.

Regardless of whether you act on those thoughts, you're still gay. You could be Asian and act completely American but you're still Asian.

I don't think you're born with a sexuality, I don't think you wake up and decide to be gay either.

[ImCoolBeans]

I never really had much attraction to the opposite sex. And if I "entertain" sexual thoughts for the same sex, then surely that's just the natural way to go about it if those are the stronger feelings? I don't think homosexuality is a choice - nature vs. nurture is a more interesting idea, on the other hand.



I agree, I think it's more of an unconscious decision rather than the thought of "I am now homosexual". BUT some people may be attracted to the same sex physically and not emotionally, which does not make you homosexual IMO.

[PureReality]

You see kids who are from 13-16 who claim to be gay, or bi, or straight, but by these ages, do we actually know our sexual preference? Is it simply our hormones talking? I'm really curious. One day I will have an attraction to women, and the next to a man, but the attraction to women is always there. Also, I'm not positive if people choose to be gay or heterosexual. I mean, I personally think you choose who you are. Before you get mad, listen to this. True, most boys are curious about other boys, but is it just our hormones, and if we therefore choose to entertain homosexual thoughts, doesn't that make us choosing to be gay? Granted their will POSSIBLY always be an attraction to the same sex, BUT by choosing to follow those attractions, doesn't that mean we are then choosing to be homosexual? The same applies towards to heterosexuality. Please answer. I'm really curious on this subject. Thank you.

You know, I've never really been attracted to the ladies. I really discovered my true attraction was guys, when I was 11. I'm almost 16 now. I do not believe that being gay is a choice. I would not make a choice to be criticized everyday. Yes, for those who entertain those homosexual thoughts, I believe that they would just be more open to being gay. If you don't entertain those homosexual thoughts, and you really are gay, then you might feel the need to hide your true self.

It's not like people just wake up someday and say, "I'm going to be gay today!" (joke)


ALSO, WOULD JUST LIKE TO POINT OUT: everyone goes through a bicurious stage. People should not over-dramatize this.

[HollisterrBboyy]

Hmm. You all have good points. I just was curios, and you brought clarity to me! Thank you so much. (:

[Kujiro]

Age is just a numbered spectrum which illusionally gives the perception of innocence. Youve mentioned that hormones are at work, which I'd agree. Hormones spark sexual urges. But hormones does not spark emotional attraction.

It's the love and care for the similar gender which is evident.
For instance if a 5 boy tells another 5 year old saying he loves him. Proves his attraction to that person not because he is homosexual, but rather he's warm and felt cared for by the other.
He could jolly well mean it, but as they grow, and learn this bitch called stereotypical perception. Would he again say the same to a similiar gender peer?

What I'm putting across would be sexuality as a character rather than a personality.
I've always believed as I've experienced it myself.
Hormones are at work and I don't deny my sexual desires but I'm not confused between lust and love.

I've dated girls and been dated by girls, it just doesnt work.
But I came out as bi rather than homosexual. Not because it's easier, but i would give myself the space that the girls not working out now does not mean they would not later in my journeys.
But I'm not conforming to stereotypical thinking just because it's a norm for a guy and a girl is a norm for a relationship; I love my partner as he is now and even if it doesn't work out. I'll still love him for what he is in future.

That's how it works for me any my partner, and sex is never a main course for our relationship and should not be for any if it's supposed to work out.

Cheers
*smile*