Before you started...

[Magenta]

Were you like me - the kind of kid who paid complete attention to the videos in health class, swore you'd never EVER do drugs no matter what? If you were, when did that change?

Lately, I've been deeply considering it. I've done my research, I know exactly what I'd be going for, how to avoid any risks and where to get it.

Thing is, I know it's stupid. I know my father, a police officer, would kill me if he found out. Yet my depression has been so bad that I just want to get high. I stopped my normal medication, hoping I'd get the mood high that I was taking the meds to prevent from happening but I've not gotten one. I'm starting to feel a bit desperate to feel something more than numbness or sadness. There's been nothing to bring me up at all.

I know I'm going to get a bunch of people telling me I shouldn't have gone off my medication (this isn't the first time though) and that doing drugs isn't worth it but whether or not I decide to, I'm still curious what other people went through prior to any drug use. It feels strange, like I'm someone else, to even be thinking about this...

So I'm just wondering, how did people get started and was it sudden like me where you just got the overwhelming urge to try something or were you introduced to it by friends, etc?

[Bath]

In elementary school, I remember telling myself that I would never do drugs, that that was fucking stupid. But, oh how things change.

You've never mentioned which drug you want to try... I'm going to assume marijuana? You shouldn't smoke to get rid of your depression, though. You should just smoke cause you like it, you know? You can get psychologically addicted.

[Donkey]

I used drugs. A lot of different drugs, and on many occasions. And I gotta say that now I realise it was all together a bad idea. I began when I was 14 cause my brother was using marijuana and other drugs like salvia and nitrous oxide. He told me about it and I got curious; he explained to me how there were practically no negative effects and that I was too young. A few months down the line, he changed his mind and let me try some cannabis with him. Later I tried a lot of cannabis and this continued to using other drugs like salvia, benzo fury, nitrous oxide, alcohol, AMT, LSA, shrooms and various others.

Don't get me wrong, I know a lot about cannabis. About the cannabinoid receptors, the physical effects on the lungs, how only those with a predisposition to psychosis are likely to develop it quicker due to cannabis use - I wrote an essay on the effects cannabis has on the human body. It's not hugely harmful depending who does it. If you are depressed, it is likely to be very harmful. It is pretty unlikely even to make you happy. When I was sad before smoking weed I just used to get lazy, tired and more than anything just hazy and waiting for the high to go away.

I thought it was all OK for a good while - only up until recently did I really change my mind. I started to get a lot more hazy after using drugs like benzo fury; its highs were lasting a long time - 6 hours for the actual buzz, then having to stay awake for a long time due to it being very similar to ecstasy, and the appetite suppressant being there for over 24 hours. I'd have 48 hours of a very weird and mostly unpleasant (the "down") time for a relative time of absolute pure europhia. The experiences during which were vivid and amazing - some of the happiest (and most fake) moments of my life. But alas, this is not the way to live life and eventually I came to the point where I was struggling to enjoy things as much while sober as while high. Which is not a good place to be as it kind of suggests you're a little dependent on the drug.

Some of my experiences weren't so good. Salvia divinorum mentally really affected me. During its effects, I became depersonalised to the point that I was forgetting I was even a human being for 5 or more minutes; drifting through space. Not happy, not sad. Just consciousness. And while that was an interesting experience, it gave me a real window into seeing what life was. How being high just isn't the way: we're human, we should stay in our natural, sober and human mindsets. That's healthiest, and doing anything else could be very harmful for us mentally. I know some of the things I saw while using drugs wont' ever leave me and there's nothing I can really do about that.

The real reason why I stopped was the long term effects - I started to feel hazy all the time, using drugs was messing with my routine. I wasn't enjoying my sober life as much as I used to be and I was finding it difficult to concentrate on things during class. I realised that to sustain a happy and fulfilled life, drugs were simply not the way to do it and I was using them in completely the wrong way. Honestly, using cannabis every now and again just as something to do isn't a huge problem to your mental or physical health (legally, another issue) - using cannabis if you are depressed or dependent is seriously harmful to your wellbeing.

It's not a good place to get into. I did a lot of reading and I promise that the advice I'm giving you is invaluable; I wish I had it. You should be happy sober. Work on that before ever considering using drugs. Drugs are not solutions to your problems. They will not make life better. They will make you very hazy.

If you are the kind of person who is willing to use drugs to cure problems in the first place, you are very likely also the kind of person who will move up the ladder of soft drugs to the harder drugs if you start. So don't start. It's not worth it. Drugs simply aren't the way and they won't help you. It's a trap that I was pretty smart to get out of when I did, but stupid to get into in the first place.

[Ambrosia]

If you are the kind of person who is willing to use drugs to cure problems in the first place, you are very likely also the kind of person who will move up the ladder of soft drugs to the harder drugs if you start.

All those kids you see skipping class, dropping out of school, not getting jobs, and doing absolutely nothing but their drugs? Yeah, this is why (a large amount of the time). Softer drugs, like marijuana, can take control of an already slowing mind. Meaning, if you are susceptible to becoming addicted (And I mean this as, you are depressed, sad, or looking for an escape from reality), it will quickly take you.

I've done my fair share of drugs, and I don't recommend anyone to do it if they want to get away from something (Like depression). I make sure I steer clear of any type of narcotics or anything along those lines when my depression is noticeable because it's just a bad idea. In all honesty, don't do it. Don't do it ever. It's better just to not start for any particular reason.

[Magenta]

You've never mentioned which drug you want to try... I'm going to assume marijuana?

I purposely left that bit out. It's not marijuana 'cause I'm actually allergic to it but after doing a fair bit of research, I found something rather, er, accessible.

As stupid as this may sound, I still think drugs are something no one should do. I still think they are the stupidest things in the world and it's an idiotic thing to try under any circumstance. Yet I'm desperate and it seems like the only... escape. There's literally nothing else that's helped lately or given me any sort of break.

As for the kids skipping class, not working, dropping out of school, that may be me anyway. I can get fairly apathetic about my life anyway because of everything else.

Also, thanks, Jon. Your post in its entirety was really helpful.

[ImCoolBeans]

I was pretty dead set against it; I swore to myself that I would never turn out to be someone who drank a lot, smoked, used drugs, etc... But when my friends and I were all around 14 we started to drink. It was kind of sad how easy it was to get away with and to obtain the alcohol, so it became a habit. Drinking lead to cigarettes, cigs lead to marijuana, that lead to pills - and that was the end of my line.

When drinking became a habit I knew that i was developing a problem, but the thought was not enough to stop me. It got worse and worse and by the time we were 15 we were drinking all the time, smoking tons of marijuana and going through packs of cigarettes like wildfire. We were able to get all of it because pretty much everyone of my friends, including myself, has at least one older sibling who is willing to supply us. So we always had enablers, and each one of us was and still is enough of an instigator that it only allowed the situation to worsen and take a turn towards painkillers, anti depressants and other medications.

I myself developed a problem with the pills, i found myself to be taking them before school, inhaling them and using them with marijuana. Not only did we use them before school but we would take them whenever we were just hanging out, had some bud to go around or just wanted to "chill out". As my problem got worse and worse I found myself craving them - the painkillers specifically, and up until I got caught by my parents for everying, I was beginning to get scared and realize that this could be my reality, my future, where I was heading in life; and I did not want that.

I basically had an intervention with my parents and they set me straight and pretty much made me get my shit in order, which was a major reality check (which I desperately needed). This happened within the last month and I've been sober/clean ever since. I'm proud of my progress and can only look toward the future.

Sorry for telling a long story, but I felt like it showed how just being tempted to drink or smoke could turn into a chain of events that ultimately leads in your life becoming out of your hands and into the hands of the substance you're abusing.

[aperson444]

When I was a kid, I was pretty against it. I really got introduced back in 8th grade by a friend. I smoked my first bowl and got done with it. I never tried it again for a while until I had a mental crisis (suicide attempts/depression/anxiety). That episode was not triggered by marijuana I'm sure (anyone who says trying marijuana one time can trigger serious mental illness is mentally ill themselves), but by a related incident (I was involved in a ring of kids distributing very small amounts of cannabis to some other kids, but I never actually touched the cannabis, I only handled the money). After my stint in a psych ward, I decided to look into cannabis. The medications I was given were making me emotionally numb, irritable and tired. I was no better than I was before starting meds. So I started smoking high-grade (medical) cannabis along with my treatment with anti-depressants (Prozac initially, then Zoloft). I found that the weed helped me out a lot; it took the edge off of my anxiety and gave me the motivation to do my homework and work hard at life. But this was not without guilt.

My parents were really against weed and drugs in general. They came from non-smoking, non-drinking, highly traditional Indian families. Every time they found some weed, unearthed a text, or overheard a conversation about the subject, they would make me feel like shit and talk about how it was all my friends and how much I was hurting them. I felt guilty and I felt paranoid about getting caught. I then started using synthetic cannabinoids (JWH-018, but mostly JWH-250) by smoking the crystals off of aluminum foil. It was not pleasant. They discovered that too (I told my psychiatrist beforehand and my parents had discovered the baggies full of powder). So for the longest time, I was sober again. Sure enough, I lost my motivation, I lost my ability to feel emotions, but I never forgot what cannabis taught me (I really didn't realize that until later). I started again with the help of a friend who hooked me up with a dealer who was selling high-quality medical strains (I remember Strawberry Cough was the very first strain I tried from him). This was in freshman year of high school. My motivation returned and I started to feel a lot better. I'm not sure what triggered that. But around that time, I began to pick up the pieces of my mind and rebuild myself. That year, I swore that I would do well in school and prove to my parents I wasn't some burnout stoner. I got a 4.0 GPA that year, only getting a B in AP US History. I still felt like shit for doing it behind my parents' back. They had restricted my movements by then. I couldn't and still can't leave the house or hang out with friends. I'm literally completely alienated. I have been alienated from a lot of my friends, some are very much against marijuana and see me as some burnout druggie, others just could not hang with me because I was restricted so much. I've only done marijuana, LSD, nicotine and alcohol up until now. The former two have had no or even a beneficial impact on my life, but they did not come without negatives.

So all in all, I got into drugs first by a few acquaintances, but I soon did more research into cannabis (I read paper after paper, article after article, story after story) and found that it might help me. Sure enough, it did. I'm not gonna say it reversed my depression, but it did indeed catalyze my recovery. LSD helped me see my situation in a different light (But it was mostly just really fun for me). I really wouldn't recommend any non-prescribed drug as a direct treatment for depression or anxiety, but in my experience, using cannabis occasionally did speed up my recovery. I still feel very guilty about it though.

[Funkapotamus]

Yeah I was the same until I joined the last band I was in and joined those guys' group of friends.

Cannabis - Bongs, Spliffs, Blunts
Tai
MDMA
Salvia
E's
Ketamine

If you take any of those even cannabis when in a foul mood, the high will leave you in a far worse mood. Any drug requires you to be in a good mood from the start because it just enhances it. I've taken all those quite a lot, and believe me it's something you don' want to get stuck in. Weed alright on occasion, but beware of getting hooked, it ruins your day in terms of getting things done.

I'm not promoting it's use, merely sharing my experience and views.

[kinchy]

Personally, I don't do drugs unless I'm happy and I think its a smart.. because then I'd be turning to the drugs for happyness rather then my sober self.
Anywho it is clear that trying to share the shit out of kids doesn't work when it comes to trying to pervent them from doing drugs.
I've seen it all, and realized that "Hey, I did this and haven't died, I actually had a good time." Its all about moderation. :whoops: