Falling slowly...

[Syvelocin]

I don't know why I'm doing this. Well, I do. But I also don't.

I'm happy. Liz is everything right now, that's not it. Don't worry about that.

I think I've discussed a very close friend of mine before here. Well, my best friend I've known since I was four, I fell for her completely a couple years ago. It's scared me because I had always thought I had been in decent relationships and had fair crushes on people, but this was so different. I had never adored someone so utterly and passionately. And when I had rethought my sexuality more recently, that was honestly a huge factor, how I had thought I had crushes on guys before but never felt like that about a guy. I realized I really never had been in love with them. But hands-down, I'm in love with this girl.

I came out to my uncle last night after my grandfather's funeral. He's gay as well, so that's why I felt inclined to tell him, for advice. And I did bring up this friend of mine. My mum knows I'm in love with her, but she is against me telling her. She doesn't want me to risk it. But my uncle was quite confident in saying he wants me to go for it, saying he never risked and he wasted years of his life just to end up with his friends being completely fine with it in the end. I'm not a risk-taker. So maybe it's my turn to risk something?

I mean, if she's that good of a friend, she should probably be able to put it aside if she doesn't feel the same way, right?

And like I said, I don't want to date her. I mean, I would, if I wasn't with Liz. But Liz, I have no plans of leaving her. The reason I want to tell her is the pain I go through wishing I could tell her how special she is, how gorgeous, inside and out.

I wrote her the message. I'm just writing this one before I'm sending it, but I am. I'm shaking like you could never imagine right now, but I am. I've had this strange bit of courage since last night and I think I should go with it for once.

[Sceneboy612]

Good luck with everything. You never know something until you try it. You are old enough to make smart decisions, and so long as it is not an impulse type of thing and you are confident with your decision, you are okay. You have feelings for this girl obviously, and you never get reward without risk.

Even your uncle wants you to. He is not going to point you in the wrong direction.

[Syvelocin]

She was completely fine with it. ♥ She was glad I told her, she said. Of course, she said she was sorry that she couldn't tell me what I wanted to hear... but I just said I'm relieved she even appreciated it, let alone didn't mind it. I don't know, I feel like a lot of weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I haven't stayed up all night thinking about it yet, so I'm hoping it won't be like that any more. :P

[Dimitri]

I am so happy for you.....you are so strong, like I said, if you need anything, I am just an e-mail away....

[Kujiro]

Its gracious and nice of her to accept you for who you are. Telling someone how you feel is always the first step.
Although she is unable to tell you wanted to hear, but look at it again, she gives an answer rather than avoiding the topic entirely.

Regardless of the answer she gives, it takes a load off your chest and brings it to a conclusion.

Good job
*smile*

[kathsmith81]

Good luck with everything.