Ugh.

[Lethe]

Why? Why do my parents have to keep talking about dating? It's so frustrating. They're talking about all my cousins and how they all have boyfriends or husbands. They suggested I go on a dating site if I want to find someone. What good will that do? Unless I want some creepy oversexualized man in my life (which is probably the best I could get, honestly) then yes, I'll go on a dating site and take the first person who shows up on my profile. Otherwise, just get used to the fucking fact that I'm too ugly and weird to have a boyfriend or a husband. Get used to the idea of not having grandchildren.

Ugh. I want to tear my eyes out right now.

[embers]

And it's this mentality that won't get you beyond a creepy man on a dating site. Think better of yourself or accept that people won't like you because you're a walking ball of grief. That may sound harsh, but it's what seems to be the case.

[Lethe]

What reason is there to think better of myself? My physical deformities/ugliness are much worse than my "attitude". I'm a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10 in attractiveness and compared to other girls I'm even less. What hope do I have to ever find a man if I'm not even attractive enough to be considered normal? I'm not a 5 or a 6, I'm a 2 or a 3. That's way below average. Who wants below average?

[Amaryllis]

Firstly, read that:
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1462229&postcount=19

Secondly, how do you expect anyone to love or even like you if you act that way? Nobody wants to listen to someone bash themselves 24 hours a day. People want to be happy, someone who makes them smile. Not someone who makes them feel like crap. I'm not being cruel, Dee, I'm trying to be honest with you here. You are your own worst enemy. Nobody can help you if you don't want to be helped.

Are you willing to listen, Dee? Do you want help? Do you want to be happy?

[Lethe]

I am my own worst enemy but people will always think what they think regardless of how I feel. If I'm positive and happy it still won't attract men to me because my outer appearance is so...sub-par. Ugly. Unfeminine. Whatever word you want to use. I can think whatever I want to, but I'll never be attractive enough for a male.

What help? Did I ask for help? I'm just venting. I know there's no help for me. If there was help for me I'd have been "healed" by now. You can put makeup on a pig but it'll still be a pig. Just apply that to me.

[embers]

What reason is there to think better of myself?

For the sake of your own well-being, as well as the fact that thinking better of yourself, feeling better of yourself, etc WILL make you stand out better as a person. If you continue with this 'durr I look like a turd I feel like a turd I'm not human I'm a turd', then by all means, you're going to be a turd.

My physical deformities/ugliness are much worse than my "attitude".

"Physical deformities". Most of the people here think you look great. People with lower standards than the snob infested area you live in exist. Don't turn that away, if people are giving you shit where you are now, then move away when you're older. You're what, 17? You're gonna be independent soon. Take that opportunity head on if you're so damn concerned about the way you look and your relationships.

I'm a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10 in attractiveness and compared to other girls I'm even less. What hope do I have to ever find a man if I'm not even attractive enough to be considered normal? I'm not a 5 or a 6, I'm a 2 or a 3. That's way below average. Who wants below average?

Who's doing the judging? Yourself? That's no good now, is it?

[Lethe]

It's not just me judging, it's boys. Not that they've said it directly as in "You're a 2 out of 10", it's just simply how they treat me and how they regard me compared to other girls. And I am planning to move away for college; hopefully I'll be accepted to one of the two colleges I applied for in South Dakota. Maybe people there won't be as critical towards me for being physically unattractive.

[Vonn]

God, not this mess again.

You already know what I'm going to say. Don't tell me you've forgotten.

[Lethe]

You can say it if you want to. It doesn't matter.

[Iris]

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=112886

Sigh. Just read that. Again and again and again.

[Lethe]

I've already read it. I don't need to read it again.

[Iris]

Until you get over this attitude, you DO need to read it again.

[Lethe]

There's a reason I think the way I do. I didn't just pull it out of my ass. I really don't need to read the thread again. I've already read it.

[Vonn]

You're basically repeating the same thing you were whining about in most of your other threads. The replies we've given you are still relevant. Read them again.

[Lethe]

Why? So I can read all of the posts telling me I'm an attention whore and that I'm a pitiful excuse for a human being and that if I really wanted to get better I'd follow a certain guide with all of the steps towards healing planned out for me? There's no need for me to read things like that. I can tell you I'm not an attention seeker all I want, and that I really do have a problem, but if you aren't going to believe me then you aren't going to believe me. I can't change how you see me. No matter how positive I am or how happy I am you'll still see me the same way. I've made efforts to change myself. Efforts that haven taken up most of my time. They just haven't worked.

[Aries]

I don't think you should be so negative, Dee. Life isn't just our perception of things. Just because you think that you're ugly does't mean a single person in the world won't think otherwise. You just have to be a good person and be yourself; that's truly all it takes. If someone doesn't like you for how you look are they even worth your time? Surround yourself with good, nice people, not people who make you feel bad. There really are nice people like that in the world, you just have to seek them out.

[Amaryllis]

Why? So I can read all of the posts telling me I'm an attention whore and that I'm a pitiful excuse for a human being
Did I ever say such a thing? I've been pretty damn patient with you, Dee, a lot of us have.

I can tell you I'm not an attention seeker all I want, and that I really do have a problem, but if you aren't going to believe me then you aren't going to believe me.
So if you have a problem, what are you going to do about it? Are you just going to sit there and mope?

I can't change how you see me. No matter how positive I am or how happy I am you'll still see me the same way. I've made efforts to change myself. Efforts that haven taken up most of my time. They just haven't worked.
Wtf, Dee. I'm an optimistic, bubbly person and I think people like me just fine. Maybe not the ones in school but the ones on VT. This place is a second chance. It's where you can start over and be who you want to be. You have not listened and you never reply when we make a valid point. Bloody hell, for the second time, read this!

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1462229&postcount=19

I am my own worst enemy but people will always think what they think regardless of how I feel.
That's not true! I'm learning how to say thank you and take it when people tell me I'm cute or nice or talented. I can tell you that, most likely, my friends prefer it that way. The way you feel about yourself effects the way you act, effecting the way people think of and treat you.

If I'm positive and happy it still won't attract men to me because my outer appearance is so...sub-par. Ugly. Unfeminine. Whatever word you want to use. I can think whatever I want to, but I'll never be attractive enough for a male.
What is up with you only caring about what men think? Who says women have to be "feminine"? Who says all men only care about how beautiful you are? If you think your outsides are ugly, work hard on making your insides beautiful!

What help? Did I ask for help? I'm just venting.
This is a help site...

I know there's no help for me. If there was help for me I'd have been "healed" by now.
Maybe that's because you don't want help.

You can put makeup on a pig but it'll still be a pig. Just apply that to me.
Who said "help" was about making you look prettier?

[DismaliciouSx]

Look I've seen your pictures on your profile, I can say I understand when you say you don't like your physical appearance, I'm right there but I have a lot of people that tell me otherwise and it makes me feel so good when I hear it. What you need is to get away from the generic hipster douchebag that wants a trophy girl. You said you want to go to North Dakota for college? My dad lives there and they are some of the nicest people I have ever met. So if you do go there I hope they'll open your eyes because you truly are pretty. Some how some way someone will prove it to you I know.

[Aries]

@DismaliciouSx, did you just call her ugly? :P

I agree that she should move away from the "crowd". Most often the "crowd" isn't the best place to be anyways, you lose yourself and lose your uniqueness.

[Amaryllis]

Okay, I'm really sorry about before. This isn't a debate. I'll start over.

Dee, no one can bring you down without your consent. No one can make you feel ugly or fat, they can fuel it, sure, but in the end, you choose what you want to feel, what you choose to think and believe. However, sweetie, you're the one bringing yourself down. You had about 5 pages of replies from guys in your previous thread, Dee. We all tell you again and again how beautiful you are. We are not saying this to make you feel better. The moment you post, people rush to reply.

I can't speak for every single person who tells you you are beautiful. I can't say "Every one of them means it and they're not saying it to make you feel better." But what I can say is, I mean it. In all honesty, I think you look amazing, you have the curves, the eyes, hair, skin, smile, teeth, face shape, nose, body, hell, boobs and ass that I would kill to have. I am pretty sure embers thinks you're damn good looking as well.

Ask yourself this, Dee: Do you really want to live the rest of your life hating yourself?

We alone choose to be beautiful. We can wake up first thing in the morning and smile, instead of going "Ugh! Fuck this! Another goddamn day!" We alone choose to look in the mirror and think, "I look amazing today!" You alone choose to look at a guy, walk up to him, head held high and speak. Not about how much you hate yourself and your life, not about how you want to jump off a fucking cliff, not about how your legs, boobs, ass and hips aren't right, how you think he won't like you. Laugh, love, live.

I showed you pictures of me when I was anorexic. Now I'll tell you something else. When my father used to sexually abuse me, he would call me a whore, tell me I was ugly, fat and nobody would treat me as good as he did. He made me stand in front of a mirror, naked, and he would point out all my flaws. I don't want to be that girl. The girl who would walk to class, head bowed, shoulders slumped, the girl who would shake her head no and say she was fat, each time someone said otherwise. I don't know, maybe you've been through what I've been through and if you have, I feel for you.

But this isn't the life you asked for, so this won't be the life you'll live.

I could have agreed with my father, withered away, never come back from 50 pounds but just dropping. Watching the number slip until I became nothing. Suffer, hate myself, hate everyone, hate my father and mother for taking away the childhood I never had. I could wake up tomorrow, choose not to eat, take a knife to my face, slice it up, live the rest of my life believing that I was ugly and worthless. I could chase everyone away.

Or

I could choose this life. Tell my father I would call the police, tell my mum, if he ever, ever touched me again. Bounce back from 50 pounds, eat, even though a voice is screaming "You ugly fat pig." in my head. Refusing to let the whispers ugly anorexic, ugly anorexic, ugly anorexic follow me. Slip way pass the weight I was when I wasn't anorexic and not cry over it. Take the compliments, smile, say thank you and leave it at that. I could not look at the pictures of myself I hated. Look in the mirror, find the things I like. Take a breath, joke and laugh. Be a good person. I chose to help others, to smile through it all, to shut my ears to my father banging on my door, to take my mother's hits, wipe off the blood and go to school the next day. I chose to sprinkle joy, spread hope and share love.

Yes, I chose to be a fairy and pee fairy dust everywhere.

No, really, Dee, hating yourself sucks. It's not gonna get you anywhere in life. Eating disorders? Not gonna get you anywhere in life. Dysmorphia? Nuh. Depression? Nuh. Self-loathing? Nuh. Get the help you need. Let us help you. Don't shut us out. Have faith in yourself. Love yourself and you will be happy and when you're happy, who cares what else you are. Happiness is all we ever truly need.

Choose to be happy because life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Love,
Faith and Trust
(Damn that was long.)

[IcarusLives]

Alright let's be honest, you're not fat, you're not ugly, you're a beautiful person. Albeit true I wouldn't exactly go on a thread and say to someone "Y'know what, yeah, you are hideous.", you can trust me when I say I'm being 100% honest, you're not an ugly person... At all.....

As far as that much goes, you're your own worst enemy as you said before, but... If people keep telling you over and over again the same stuff...... I don't get why you don't believe them.

Take it from everyone else, we're being serious with what we say here...

It sounds to me, speaking from an emotionless and strictly objective stand-point here, that you have a perfectionist sort of attitude. Perfectionists can take up two mind-sets. The first being someone who works overly hard at EVERY aspect of their lives to make sure that they're as close to perfect as can be, and is always dissatisfied. The second being something like this as an example: You'll purposefully sell yourself short in terms of your predisposed mind-set before you go into anything, as that way when you do fail at whatever it is you're doing, which is what you were expecting, you won't be as shocked / disappointed. Yet, in reality, you'll still always be dissatisfied in the end.

You're a defeatist perfectionist so to speak, as much of an oxymoron as it may sound.

Problem is, it's that exact mind-set that causes the problems... If you had the self-confidence that you SHOULD have in yourself, legitimately, then you'd probably notice a pretty big difference pretty quickly...

Sorry for sounding like a pontificating narcissistic Freudian asshole, but that wouldn't be so far from the truth anyhow. Hopefully you still get what I'm saying through this overly complicated tid-bit.

Long and short of it is: You're no where near ugly, so sincerely for your own sake, stop telling YOURSELF otherwise and just be who you are.

Seeing as I'm suicidal and depressed, I'm probably not the best person to be giving advice, but seeing as I have no reason not to curb my honesty due to that exact same reason, take it from me. Sincerely, you're not ugly at fucking all... You're no where fucking near it.

As far as weirdness goes, I don't really know what you mean. Everyone's weird.. Once you can accept who you are, that's when your so called "weirdness" simply just becomes a part of your character.

Dumb and over-used / Kesha (Is there even a difference?.... Too soon?) as it sounds, "We are who we are", so just love yourself and be yourself. Simplest life philosophy, yet too many people lose sight of it...

Myself included... But this isn't my thread now is it.

Later.

[Donkey]

You're not ugly - so that won't hinder you; and as for being weird, you don't seem hugely weird, and even then there's nothing wrong with being weird in a relationship at all :P

You don't have to date; if you don't feel comfortable doing it, then don't. But at the end of the day, there is nothing stopping you here. You've got to move forward and make the best of your life - we all have problems and insecurities, but overcoming them is what makes us better as people. I don't think this is about relationships as so much as you just needing to have a little more self confidence.

And there's no other way to get that other than helping yourself.

[Vonn]

Lethe, if you read FaithAndTrust's last post and still find some way to doubt yourself, I will be so disappointed.

[Fushigi]

like what I've said on your other thread, just learn to love yourself first before finding someone that will love you. Actually I do hate myself as well but after I realized that it won't do anything good to me, I look on the brighter side. I did something to improve myself so that it will make me feel confident , I hope you do the same way too. Look at my signature.. "The Standard of beauty is not definite, we define it" no one is ugly. Putting yourself down won't make you pretty, do something that will make you feel pretty, and don't do it for the sake of the others , do it for yourself.