Concerning my deaf friend.

[Aries]

I'm having some trouble concerning my deaf friend Gabriel. We've known each other for almost three years and we're best friends. He's the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met, and the two of us have been very close almost since we met in 9th grade. He's a quiet person and he's shy, and because he's deaf he doesn't know how he sounds so he's normally silent unless we're alone together; when we're alone and it's just the two of us he's very vocal and he doesn't worry about how he sounds. He can read lips and sign, but we've become very personal and when he isn't looking at me I put my finger under his chin and angle his face towards me so that he can read my lips. We've gotten used to that and it's very...sensual, I suppose. Like I'm getting ready to go in and kiss him.

The problem is, I have developed feelings for him and I don't know how to express them to him. Yes, I'm male, and he's male, but I can't help how I feel about him. He's a beautiful person inside and out, and he has a big heart. Lately I've found that I'm almost breathless when we're close together and my heart flutters when we touch. I'm also having sexual fantasies about him, and I've found that I don't feel guilty or ashamed about it, only excited.

We're already close physically; we hold hands and cuddle up to each other all the time. I'm just worried that if I tell him I'm attracted to him romantically, he may feel uncomfortable or he may feel like I'm only being close to him because I have romantic and sexual feelings for him. That isn't true of course, but he may feel that way. What should I do?

[thecanjump]

This seems like a story from a book, every heartwarming. (I know it isn't) It seems like you two already do many things that boy friends would do and you just want to make it "official"
This is truly up to you, I'd say try it if you really want to, don't if you feel as these aren't worthy to act on. Best of luck to what ever you do. =)

[Aries]

I'd love to call him my boyfriend. You can't imagine how long I've stayed up tonight just thinking about ways to ask him. I'm just so nervous and afraid that he'll feel bad about it or feel used. We're very physically close to each other and we aren't afraid to show affection towards one another, but if he knows I'm having sexual fantasies about him on top of romantic feelings he may feel like my closeness to him is sexual and I'm getting some type of sick sexual thrill off of it.

[thecanjump]

Seems like you really like him. Well, you don't have to tell him you are "dying" to get sexual. Just let him know you want to be a little more than friends. I'd say possibly writing a romantic note and hand it to him. If he is concerned let him no he isn't just a sex toy. Hope everything works out for you.

[Aries]

I definitely don't see him as a sex toy. I'd love to be sexual with him, but that isn't the most important thing to me at all. I'd rather get to kiss him and hold him and sleep with him and hold his hand and all of that. Sex is fun, but it isn't everything. I could live without it if I could be with him. He's that special to me.

I'm not a good writer, so a romantic note wouldn't really work. I'd rather tell him in person. I can't sign so he'd have to read my lips. I'd be nervous, but it'd almost be a comfort that he couldn't hear my voice shaking. I just don't want to lose him as a friend. We're very close but I'm not sure if he's attracted to me like I am to him. It's tearing me apart inside :(.

[thecanjump]

Ah, understandable. Here's another idea if you decide to ask him, tell him you want to ask him something (with your lips) then sign him want to be my bf. Of course your going to have to learn how to sign this and I doubt you just wanting him for sexual pleasure will come to mind. And it seems if you guys are already holding hands and cuddling seems like he has to have some of an attraction towards you.

[Aries]

I'm not sure how I should do it. I'm not sure whether saying it with my lips or signing it would be more special to him. I'm thinking that me saying it while looking into his eyes may be more special and meaningful to him. I'd have to be confident though. I'm not sure if I could be completely confident enough to say it outright, so I might have to kind of take my time.

The reason I'm afraid he may see me as only wanting to be with him for sexual reasons is because awhile back he had a friend (a female) who considered him a trophy because he was deaf, and she tried to use him sexually. I'm afraid he may think I'm trying to do the same, even though we truly are friends and we're truly close to each other.

Trust me, I'd love to have a sexual relationship with him, but only because I love him so much and because I'm attracted to him emotionally. It isn't so much that he's attractive or hot, it's that it's him and I'd feel excited beyond belief just to have that type of relationship with him, because I'm so close with him. I'm not sure if that makes sense...

[thecanjump]

Wow that b....

I'm sure you can do it, don't think of the worst thing possible of happening. You basically understand what you have to do, just don't worry. I'm sure it'll all work out. Good luck =)

And I understand I wish the same from my best friend but he moved away. =/

[Aries]

He's coming over tonight at around 10:00pm, so hopefully I'll have the courage to tell him how I feel...I'm just not so sure if I am brave enough to tell him.

[thecanjump]

How did it go?

[mxiii]

He's coming over tonight at around 10:00pm, so hopefully I'll have the courage to tell him how I feel...I'm just not so sure if I am brave enough to tell him.

wish you luck! =D
i'm dying to know how it goes
tehee

[Aries]

To both of you, I didn't have the courage to tell him last night. That was probably due to me having a few too many beers and being too unsure of myself to make a good impression on him because of that. He is coming over tonight though so I'm hoping to tell him how I feel then. Hopefully I won't have the urge to drink (at least as much). I'll need a few more cigarettes then normal to get me through it.:tongue:

[ThatScience]

Learn to sign it! Like a simple "I love you"!
That would be so romantic.

[Aries]

That's a good idea but it may be a little too late for that. He's coming over at 10:00 tonight so maybe I'll tell him how I feel then. I'm not too drunk so hopefully I won't chicken out like last night. If not there's always Thursday and Friday night.