Left behind.

[ThatScience]

I don't mean to whine or complain or wallow in self-pitty but sometimes I just get hit with an overwhelming feeling that I am missing out and, as a result, my ability to sustain a relationship will be severely diminished due to lack of experience.

I'm 17 and I've never had a proper, real relationship. My latest "girlfriend" was three years ago and I handled it quite immaturely, becoming paranoid of what others were thinking about the relationship and, thus, chose to end it.

I have no experience and cannot possibly hold a mature and evolved relationship. How can I become experienced in relationships if I'm not socially mature enough to sustain one? It's a vicious cycle.

I don't want to get left behind.

[stuckinmystraw]

Jakey, if you want to have a fer serial relationship, you need to be mature about it. In all honestly, you are going to get left behind if you can't handle a relationship the right way. It shouldn't matter what other people think about your relationships, all that should matter is the way you feel about that person. You're going about relationships the wrong way and you need to man up and put your priorities into check. It IS a vicious cycle and if you need help getting into the swing of it, then feel free to ask for my help..I've had my fair share of relationships.[:

[ThatScience]

That was 3 years ago.
My worry is that social neglect has left me inept and incapable of sustaining a relationship. The paranoia thing is a distant memory. I'm just not up to speed... That's all...

[Spook]

Hope isn't lost for a relationship, hun! :) You're still young, and you still have plenty of chances. Do you go to a highschool? Try talking to more people, maybe getting involved in sports. It was 3 years ago, sometimes you have to let things go. You need to get on, get up, and dust yourself off! :)

[ThatScience]

Hope isn't lost for a relationship, hun! :) You're still young, and you still have plenty of chances. Do you go to a highschool? Try talking to more people, maybe getting involved in sports. It was 3 years ago, sometimes you have to let things go. You need to get on, get up, and dust yourself off! :)

I've tried. I've been active in that regard. It's just I don't seem to have a grasp on how things are supposed to work.

I have this urge to be close to someone but am not sure who...

[Slytherin_Prince]

Good afternoon,

You need not worry about anything. I don't think you're whining at all.
But from time to time, one simply needs counsel.

On that note, on with the counsel. I can relate to your problem.
In fact, I daresay I have a similar problem myself. I feel like I've wasted
my time as a child, now that I am 18. The past 4 years have been....
challenging, so to speak. I've even contemplated whether it's worth going
on now that I've already wasted so much, some things permanently.

But enough of my own issues. I don't believe in relationships myself,
let alone love, but I do believe that experience has nothing to do with it.
Every relationship is different, for one. There is no basic guideline for any of them.
Secondly, your ability to succesfully sustain a relationship is solely dependent on your fidelity, the degree of how much you care for another person, and how much you choose to be yourself.
If a relation's meant to be, both parties should always be themselves.
This is not in any way affected by experience.
In fact, I daresay experience can have its downsides. It can lead to indifference.

As for your latest girlfriend, it was 3 years ago. We all made decisions back then, whether we regret them or not.
They're in the past. All we can do is learn from them.
As you know, those who neglect to take history into account are doomed to repeat it.

As for my advice, I would take past events into account and make sure you don't make the same mistake twice. Besides, you're 17 now.
I have full confidence that you will be alright.
You seem like a genuine person, and good things tend to befall the good.
And have faith. I am wholeheartedly convinced that you won't get "left behind", as you said.

Most sincerely,
Robert.

[GoldenSnitch]

Try,try,try.