Living the past..

[sarah newman]

Heres what's effecting me:
-I was sexually assaulted a year ago
-I am stressed because of exams
-I am stuck in the middle of a friendship problem, and my so called best mate is making it worse
-no one understands me

And in a result of that I have started cutting again. I was up and down for the past year, and the year before that I was really bad, but now I'm starting to get bad again. But it's like I forgot what I missed out on.
My friend was worried about me so told my tutor Teacher who told a pastoral care person, who is so lovely to me. He asked me if I harm myself and I had to deny it. I can't have my parents finding out, I have put them through enough. So then he said I could go and talk to him whenever I wanted, which I really appreciated.
I hate myself for lying, I'm not sure whether to tell him about the friendship problem or to leave it. I told him I use to cut in year 9 and I'm stressed about exams so I'm starting to get extra help with that.
I just hate myself, for lying. I was so badly wanting to confide in him, tell him everything, but I couldn't. Because he would ring my parents.
Urgh, I'm so stressed. Everything's getting worse. Help me?

[ShatteredGlass]

Don't hate yourself. Self-loathing is detrimental to our emotional and mental growth and to recovery. You lied, ask God to forgive you and He will that's all you don't have to walk around condemned. And maybe it's time for your parents to know? They love you unconditionally and you can never "put them through enough" because they're parents and should always be there for you. You have a safe place to go, a trusted role model to confide in. I say do it. Don't go at this alone anymore.

[sarah newman]

I put them through so much that my mum said she will put me into care