just went back

[ryantombs]

soo i havent cut probably in over a week nvr really did it... but i started cuz of a girl and i just saw her picture and read something and saw the person she cheated with and i got so mad and depressed at the same time and i did one half inch not deep at all cut and then im starting the word hate in my right thigh i got the H down and not deep cuz i used a cheapo steak knife... but like i was cutting and omg everything went away i actually smiled for a quick second and now im so destressed and almost normal again... i mean i liked it it felt like good i needed it almost but reading this forum i see how bad it can get thats why i am posting.
thank you all <3 truely love everyone on here yuo guys do do so much for me it seems like your the only people i can go to almost <3

[ShatteredGlass]

When you're hurt, like when you cut yourself, your brain releases endorphines to calm you down...I know i spelled it wrong, how ever this chemical is the same chemical that makes us happy which is why you experienced that moment of calm/happy but its fleeting and artificial and like a junkie in search of the biggest high cutting gets worse because we need to feel that happy/calm again. So you really must stop, find someone to talk to or a new way to express it. Dont carve words into your skin or anything else for that matter. And if she cheated on you I can promise she doesnt deserve to cause you anymore pain and she doesnt deserve to scar you.

[ryantombs]

i think you spelled it right and that makes sense with the chemicals and stuff and your right how i will crave it more and more but honestly idk who to talk to cuz that girl was everything from like a sister to a mother to a best friend to an enemy like i talked to her wit everything... i dont wanna tell a guy friend... well yu get it haha
and the closest two girls i have like i was thinking about going out with them and there cud be a possible relationship with either or sooner or later and i dont wanna mess that up so yea you guys are my like i guess escape/ rant oh and one other girl im close to well im afraid she will judge me... like we are real close no relationship but either judge me as scary physcho path or like just talk and stuff diff with me because of it and i dont want that...